Bryan Paul Buckley 0:00
Episode 80 of the Elite Road Warrior podcast. Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work, health and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business travel life. If you’re a road warrior, and a great chance you’re on the road right now then this podcast is for you.
Buckley Kiddos 0:31
You’re listening to our dad on Season Two of the Elite Road Warrior podcast brought to you by the Buckley Kids. This is Trey. This is Kole. This is Kaleb. This is Kaitlyn. This is Austin. Make connecting with your family a priority on the road.
Bryan Paul Buckley 0:51
Thank you Buckley kiddos and welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast. I’m your host Bryan Paul Buckley fellow road warrior whether I’m home or not. Husband of one and father five, and always looking for creative ways to keep this podcast fresh. And as a result today’s episode is well, it’s unique and we’ve only done it a few times. It’s called an interview mashup. I’ve taken clips from five interviews, a keynote speaker in hypnosis Wayne Lee in Episode 64, the author and productivity expert Marcey Rader in Episode 66, world-renowned entertainer and impersonator, John Di Domenico in Episode 74, Road Warrior, Justin Pugh in Episode 76, an author and keynote speaker Jake Thompson, in Episode 78. And the best part of the Elite Road Warrior mashup is if you missed any of these interviews, you get a free sample size of the impactful content of the full interview and of course, at no additional charge. So let’s hear from our experts. It’s go time.
Bryan Paul Buckley 2:10
Let’s kind of drill into a little bit about sleep. How well do you sleep on the road? Are there any tricks that you do to kind of help you to be able to rest for that quality of sleep that you need to get to do what you do?
Wayne Lee 2:19
Yeah, great question. First of all, there’s been I think, over time, lots of misconceptions about sleep, like people say, Well, you can just, you know, sleep when you’re dead. Actually, if you don’t sleep, you’re gonna die. The fact of the matter is that I think sleep is such an important part of recharging our battery, of really resetting ourselves. Fortunately, I’m a good sleeper. Now. I think I’ve worked at that too. You know, my background is in hypnosis.
Bryan Paul Buckley 2:45
So okay, so wait, you said something that was very intriguing to me. You said you worked at sleep?
Wayne Lee 2:50
Bryan Paul Buckley 2:50
I want to make sure you unpack that because you said that seems like an oxymoron. shouldn’t just sleep be natural. How did you do that? So I want to make sure that that comes in with your background with hypnosis and all.
Wayne Lee 3:00
Well, first of all, I have always been really intrigued with the power of the mind. And when I had seen hypnosis I was very intrigued what it was all about. And I’ve realized, you know, after doing so many shows and events and hypnotizing so many people is that everything we do is a form of hypnosis. We’re hypnotized by what we see in the environment, hypnotized by our own self talk or thoughts, as well as other people. And so people have programmed, whether unconsciously, subconsciously, or consciously how they sleep. Now, I’m not saying that some people naturally just sleep better than others, yet, we all have this capacity to tell ourselves, I’m going to have an awesome sleep, I’m going to create the right environment. You’ve got these great metaphors in life that are conducive to sleeping better for better like you know, just nature itself.
Bryan Paul Buckley 3:47
And so I’ve done a lot of self-hypnosis to program myself to relax my mind and sleep really well. And focusing in on the positive also helps you sleep really, really well because a lot of times people that are kept up at night or not kept up at night by accident is probably they’re not aware of what they’re focusing upon in regards to the negative, nasty thoughts they have that they’re actually circulating that keep them up. An example would be when somebody says I can’t sleep well, the word can’t is actually creating a feedback loop of reinforcing why they can’t sleep. And so the language and what people focus upon all has to do with how they sleep. And for myself, again, I sleep pretty well. And some of the things that may have attributed to that, because I think there’s a number of things is one exercising, eating the right foods eating nutritiously as well as programming your mind, and programming your mind with meditation, with guided imagery with self-hypnosis that’s helped a lot.
Bryan Paul Buckley 4:47
And I’m really glad you said that because it really comes down to our mindsets, and what we’re telling ourselves. I mean how many times have you heard too, Wayne, I really don’t sleep well in a hotel room, or my first night is always my worst night. Or whatever is and it is that self-talk. So I really, really appreciate you saying that along with a direct correlation of how much you’re moving – energy habit number one, the food and the fuel we put into our body – energy habit number two, how would we think about sleep energy? habit number three. So those are awesome. And it kind of leads into obviously, if you’re getting a good night’s rest, it’s allowing you to have the energy to do what you do.
Bryan Paul Buckley 4:47
So unpack a little bit more about how you keep your energy up so that you can perform at a very high level. And obviously, you’re on stage in front of hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. And you’ve gotta be on the A+ game, not the A- game So what attributes to that energy level?
Wayne Lee 5:00
So what attributes to that energy level was it’s all the things that you just said they’re like, you know, like, I think all those have a contributing factor in terms of the combination of everything so you’ve got your, you know, the exercise, the diet or nutrition, the mindset of what you’re focusing on at any given time. I also think beyond those things that we’ve done. We can unpackage it comes down to a mindset of being willing to do whatever it takes. And what I mean by that is that I’ve done this thing so many times that I could be sick, I could have the flu, I could be hungover, I could be drunk, and I get on stage and I rise to the occasion. Because I know that’s what I need to do is I need to get into the game and serve those people make them laugh. And maybe it comes to a bit of fear, too, is that oh my goodness, I don’t do this. I’m not fulfilling my obligation, my promise my commitment to those people. So at a deep level, I think it’s it’s a soul commitment. It’s a commitment that I love to do this. And no matter what gets in my way, I’m going to do it. So a big part of that we can call that the mindset. And trust me, I’ve been there numerous times where I didn’t feel great or I’ve lost my voice and I step up and I pull it out. So whatever comes over me I think starts in a, if we call an intention. It’s my intention to do that and the energy comes when I need it. Because I also know once I finished my presentation or my show and I step off and I get back home, I might have a downturn and that’s time to recharge.
Bryan Paul Buckley 6:38
So, Marcey, how can we get anything done on the road with all the demands of business travel? What’s your thoughts on that?
Marcey Rader 7:42
Business travel poses unique challenges for a lot of people when it comes to getting things done? For one thing, just not being at home to get the things like you know, your oil change or your clothes dry cleaned. Or, you know, just making the appointments, the physical appointments that you need to do. But then also, your schedule is not your own when you travel for business. And you know, you are at the whim of the airlines, and sometimes other people’s meetings and when you think you’re going to be in the hotel at six o’clock to then get a workout in your plane was delayed, you don’t get there till nine you are toast, you can’t do it. And so to me, you cannot be just a fly by the seat of your pants person when you travel for business.
Marcey Rader 8:35
Now, on the other hand, there are a lot of people that will say I get more done when I travel for business. I’m one of those people, depending on what the situation is. Because, you know, if I’m not at home with my husband, and I’m just in a hotel room by myself, I don’t mind working a little bit later. On planes, I can get a lot of stuff done on the plane and I have made it a habit for the last 15 years to try to do as many things on the road that I would do at home. Like, you know, a monthly massage, or if I need to get my nails done or, or anything like that, um, you know, I’ll try to do as much as I can when I’m traveling.
Bryan Paul Buckley 9:19
And that’s a great response. And I think it really dives into mindsets. So speaking of that, let’s just get into some nuts and bolts of business travel. They’re just part of business travel, email on the road can be the ultimate time stealer. So how can we tame this let’s call it a never satisfied beast and you referenced this a lot in your current book right now? Sure. So email is it’s one of the areas that I coach people on, typically where I coach them first when they come to me for productivity coaching. And the most important thing to realize is that you train people how you react if you are…
Bryan Paul Buckley 10:00
Say that again, Marcey, there was gold.
Marcey Rader 10:03
Yeah, you train people how you react. So if you react immediately to an email, then people will respect you, or I’m sorry, expect you to react immediately to an email. I process email twice a day. And no one has ever told me I did not respond quickly enough. People do not expect me to respond immediately. And notice I said, respond and not react. So if you are an immediate reactor, then that’s different than a responder. And so thinking about first how you train people, but then also creating some boundaries around that, you know, if you start emailing people six in the morning, then you’re going to start getting emails back at 615. From some imagine that Yeah, so don’t start the conversation unless you want the conversation.
Marcey Rader 10:58
So think about your time boundaries and then I am all about different systems and tools and extensions that you can use to save yourself from yourself and you know appropriately filter and create rules many of those can be used for business travelers. You don’t have to be you know your regular stay at home or you know have an office job person almost all of them you could also use for business travel even have one section on hotel toiletries, and purging the hotel toiletries and anybody here come on our travels Yeah, you know, you have that bag of little pint-size shampoos and conditioners and things. What are you holding on to them for?
Bryan Paul Buckley 11:47
Only the good stuff now, I’ve purchased myself to only the best of the best, but I honestly I love the book and actually have the audio version and also the Kindle version with that and the reason why is because there’s just so much more valuable content and like you referenced Marcey, you know, the novice, and then there’s the Pro. And then there’s the master level, and the different areas. And so a lot of times, it’s a matter of just reviewing it. And then going back to the printed version, in my case, digital, that I can reference and me, and my wife and I worked on a few of those, this past weekend, I was getting the book. And going through some of those, I’ve been taking some of those tactics about, you know, on the digital side. So I’m on a plane, and I’ve got a chunk of time that I can work through and do this. So there’s a lot that can be done. And obviously you reference that with email.
Bryan Paul Buckley 12:45
So let’s kind of unpack some of these that you’ve already mentioned. Your role is unique. The first energy habit is move, you know, how do we like we talked about you know how to earn more, walk more, run more look more. So for you though, I mean, especially depending on your gig, as you had just mentioned, you’d be on the stage for 20 minutes as an emcee, kind of do an in-betweens or hype or whatever, right? And then boom, you may be sitting down for a while. There’s other times where I mean, you’re, you’re the guy, you’re the entertainer. And you know, you’re full-on two, four, six, eight hours with that. So what does movement look like for you out? I mean, obviously, part of your performance, but then, as you kind of mentioned, you know, having to do these hit workouts in building your stamina, what does that look like now for you? Right?
John Di Domenico 13:25
Maybe specifically, when I’m on the road or on the road, one of the things you and I had mentioned, because when you’re on the road, and you’re doing these type of things, especially these big shows, your time is not your own, because all of a sudden, like the CEO is only available like 530 in the morning for rehearsal, because the general is at 8am. So you have to be really and I know that some people are like I have to work out at a very specific time. You’ve got to drop all that. You’ve just got to be ready when that window opens for a walk. If that’s all you can put in for a run. If you can get a swim in whatever it is, do that you’ve got to grab that window, a lot of people’s time are a little more structured because of what I do. And there’s constantly rewriting and updating of scripts. It’s a little tougher for me. So I and in the beginning, I was like, I’ll work out tomorrow all worked out, you know, I’ll do it later. And we all know what that goes. Yeah. And yeah, it goes nowhere. So what I’ve learned is when that window opens of 20 minutes, 30 minutes, and obviously, I’ve got my phone on me because things are constantly changing during these meetings. It’s just to get out there, even if it’s just a walk around the lake at you know, one of the Disney properties wherever you’re staying, just get out and have that moment, at least to let your mind refresh outside of that space. Because again, you mentioned burnout and these things can actually end up burning out if these days just never kind of end.
Bryan Paul Buckley 14:54
So let’s talk about food because obviously, in your situation and you’re dealing with, you know, massive, massive events and you may or may not have as much control as far as when you eat, what you eat, how much you eat or maybe eating too much. So let’s unpack that a little bit.
John Di Domenico 15:10
I this is a this is one of my worst areas because I’m we’re essentially production to backup house. It’s always there always carbo-loading for the production guys, and they don’t have to worry about that I do. So I you have to make it. It’s a lot of pasta. And it comes down to making those choices. I’m not 100% but I know mentally from doing this for years, backstage is going to be crap food, there’s gonna be choices. So I know going in like, I can’t have the pasta. I can’t have the mashed potatoes. I can’t have the little you know, Yukon, cold tomatoes. You know, maybe, maybe next week I can put it off. It’s always like if we can just get through the next three days? Three days, four days, five days, not eat this stuff. That’s all that. That’s all it is. And you know, I know that you probably read the book willpower. Yeah. So I never knew what decision fatigue was. But once I read that book, um, because you know, by that fourth day, right back, I’m having the pancakes at breakfast and everything else.
John Di Domenico 16:25
But if you made me justify everything else the rest of the day, yeah, and if you do a pre-decision, that’s what I call it, if you make a pre-decision, that you know, crap is going to be on that table, but there’s going to be healthy options, because most productions know that, you know, they’ve got to have a style that you make a pre-decision to eat, right. And I know, if you do that, I mean, and I mean, visualize it, like you’re going to see that table of all that food. You’re going to go to the green beans at lunch and the chicken and leave off the strawberry shortcake. And it’s tough because it’s right in front of you, but make that pre-decision in advance. Because out of all those people, the only people who have to be on stage is you, and maybe three VIP, you know, the Senior VP, out of all those people, none of those people have to worry about what they eat. I’m sure they do, but they don’t have to worry about it for their look on stage.
John Di Domenico 17:20
And that’s the one thing they’re paying us for, how we look on stage, how we present ourselves on stage, if it’s me, is me, or me as Donald Trump, and I always look tremendous, as Donald Trump, I have to tell you a fantastic, really, really incredible, you know, you always want to look apart. That’s why we’re there. They’re giving us the honor of performing in front of them. So, you know, that’s, that’s how I try to handle those situations. And that’s good on the food. I mean, it’s pretty sad. It’s big. Right? And we know we’re not on as much as we should be. Right? And there’s nothing worse than you know, not you know, your higher-level performer you know, your higher-level professional, you know, when you come off the stage and they’re like, Hey, wait a minute, that was not my best work exactly OK because of whatever reasons. So you always want to, you know, my goal and I think it’s all of us but is always to deliver that top tier performance no matter how stressful you’re under, they just changed the script or they want this or want that. You always want to deliver for them and if you can have that, you know, that sleep component that is going to give you that edge and give you that that higher level performance because that’s what we that’s why we’re there.
Bryan Paul Buckley 18:39
John Di Domenico 18:40
You know me that’s why we they chosen us, there’s so many there’s so many keynote speakers, there’s so many posts that can be choosing from there’s so many, you know, I’m unique in what I do, but I’m not 100% unique. There’s other people who do what I do it I’m fully aware that there are many, many choices. So I want to be the guy they call it the time that means I have to deliver every single time that I can not skate. I can’t skate on the fact that I did a TV appearance on Conan O’Brien, do we? You know, like, they don’t care.
Bryan Paul Buckley 19:12
Exactly. You’re there to do a deal with them.
John Di Domenico 19:15
Right? It’s about, you know, it’s me for them. And then I always I’m really cognizant of that.
Justin Pugh 19:29
Bryan, I even now think about it when I think about my travel schedule. And I think some of your listeners will very much agree with me and, and probably align with this is we use it as a way to get away.
Bryan Paul Buckley 19:43
Justin Pugh 19:44
Right, we use it as a way to get away and I found that I was using, you know, getting away from that situation, or that particular issue at home or whatever we use to get away and I find that like you said, if we center ourselves, travel become, this is what I have to do in order for me to get back home, to be with the family into and to feel that love. But I want to pick up on something that you said about that come to Jesus moment because I want to tell you what mine was really, really quick. And then and then right? I was in Virginia and I was in Alexandria we had just gotten I forgot where I was traveling in from all I know is I injured my toe pretty bad.
Justin Pugh 20:30
When I got to Alexandra I put my toe, you know guys it’s a hotel, I couldn’t find anything else. So I put my toe I put my foot inside the ice bucket. Okay, I couldn’t find anything else. So, so forgive me
Bryan Paul Buckley 20:42
Feel bad for the next guy
Justin Pugh 20:44
for the next guy. Anyway, I couldn’t find anything else. I put my foot inside this ice bath and inside this ice stuff. The next morning I woke up I’m getting ready for I’m getting ready to get to the meeting to go downtown and meet the next customer. I look in the mirror, I look in the mirror I’m brushing my beard getting ready, Bryan and I didn’t like what I saw, man. eyes are bloodshot and get into my disaster shower. I’ve been up for probably three or four hours probably had two cups of coffee
Bryan Paul Buckley 21:12
and this one you’re supposed to be looking good, man.
Bryan Paul Buckley 21:14
I’ve got on I’ve got on cologne. I’ve got my I got my clothes on foot, man. I’m dialed in, but I don’t look good. I don’t like what I see in the mirror. I am 20 pounds heavier. I’m 208 pounds. My typical weight guys like 190 All right, it’s just like me. That’s my fighting weight 208 I’m tired. My foot hurt. I’m disheveled. My beard. I hadn’t probably shaved my beard in probably, you know, probably two or three weeks. And at that point, I knew that was my come to Jesus moment. This made you look bad. And I felt that way. At my customer me I probably the worst decision I made was looking in the mirror that morning because the rest of the day was just a lack of confidence the entire day, you know? And that’s what that does to you. That’s what not attending to yourself and following your six habits, that’s what they do to you, it beats you down, and life will beat you into submission and you look up off the mat and you’re like, Where the hell am I? What happened to me?
Bryan Paul Buckley 22:12
Well, that guy follows us around in every single hotel. I’m like, How does he know where I am? But he follows me in every single mirror. And to your point, unless we do something about it, unless we have a, you know, something’s got to change moments, you know, whether it’s the words of your son, you know, waking you up a little bit, or these little moments that come along the way. And that’s the reason why Elite Road Warrior group exists. That’s why you know, the session that you heard on the six energy habits, or the Elite Road Warrior workshop, a live workshop or online consulting coming into a company, and really having those moments where we can think about our lives and our road lives and who we become. So then Justin, what would you say to a road warrior, who’s listening right now who needs to make some of these changes?
Justin Pugh 22:59
You got to look in the mirror, you gotta say something has to change. I know you’re there. I know I was there. All I mean, right. You know, you were there. Bryan, we both were you knew you knew you were there. And, in fact, we were there at the same time. We didn’t know it. That’s true. And it was. So right now, it’s recognizing that I am there. That’s step number one. Step number two is if you’re not a business owner, and you have to answer to somebody, it is now going to your leadership in saying, I need a break. And here’s why. And if you have good leadership, they’re gonna say, okay, Justin, I need you healthy, go get that break. If they’re bad leadership, and you have to evaluate who you’re working for. They’re going to tell you something, something different, but the first but the second step is to ask for help. The third step is to take that time that you have, right and you rest.
Justin Pugh 23:57
There’s a quote in your book in the afterword. I’m gonna read it really quick here it says. So Road Warrior when your road career’s done, how would you look back on it? What if you ended today? No more trips? What would you regret? Did you sacrifice your health and your home life at the cost of overworking What can you change? How can you change now by implementing a six energy habit of move fuel rest, form, develop, and connect that will transform your work health and home life on the road from now on? And if there’s anybody out there who’s listening, that you’re struggling with, you know, your you want to perform you mean very well. You know, Brian, and I know that that you mean well, and you want to do well, nobody gets up in the morning flies to Detroit to suck. Do you know what I mean? But, but you need to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself first.
Bryan Paul Buckley 25:02
All right, that’s perfect. So let’s dive into the part that really stood out to me. And the first one I really really liked, which was never let the hard days win. And the first sentence in this chapter was great, it says bad days are inevitable in life. Letting them break you, is completely optional. So unpack this chapter or the concepts into never let the hard days when a man that’s a bunch on the road, when we’re traveling for business.
Jake Thompson 25:28
There’s a time And really, the core takeaway in this is the power is in how you respond and what you do next. That is kind of the core tenets. That was cool. Okay, so the core tenets of it are, how you respond to that challenge, bad day, adversity and what you do next because the most important part isn’t the failure the thing that happened to you that’s out of your control or that you caused it’s how you respond to it and what you do next. And so we think about life on the road, like Miss flights stuck in traffic. Hotel, overbooked doesn’t have a room for us. I mean, any number of things we drive to the wrong airport, which I’ve been known to do before, like, everything can go wrong. I have been that guy that’s done it once before and never again. But yeah, it’s that thing where bad things are going to happen. We’re going to have challenges sometimes we bring them on sometimes other things, bring them onto us. We can’t control that. But what we do control is how we respond to are you going to be the person that you’re running late for a flight because you got stuck in traffic, you’re going to be rude to every single person going through that airport because you’re annoyed that you’re late or you just gonna be like, I was late. I didn’t plan the schedule, right? This didn’t happen. I’m going to be cheer I’m going to go on. I’m going to be nice to those stewards and stewardesses on the airplane. I’m going to be cordial with the TSA guy who probably isn’t enjoying his day either. Like we get to choose how we respond and what we do next, which is the most important it’s once you get out of traffic. Once you get out of that delay, you sit down on that plane.
Jake Thompson 27:00
Are you laying and get your hotel, it’s training yourself to let go of what has already happened. So you can focus on what you need to do. I know with your work and with mine if we’re traveling, and we’re having to present or host a workshop or train, and all we’re thinking about is the previous 10 hours that has not gone according to plan, then we’re not going to be present during that training. And those people that are in that audience are not going to get our best moments, they’re not going to get our best work. And we’re going to be robbing them of experience to get better because we’re so consumed about the bad day, or the things that happen behind us instead of what’s most important, what we do next, being present, delivering to the best of our ability, and just rolling with it. And I think you know, as travelers, we have to be flexible and able to roll with some of those punches. And when we do that by just kind of maintaining that mindset of I can control this can’t control this. Here’s what I’m going to do next. Which kind of leads into a second of the not to secrets which was embraced the process and
Bryan Paul Buckley 28:00
I’m gonna put out one quote that you add man i thought was great life doesn’t award medals for how good you look at the starting line and awards them for how strong you run the race. So that leads into this embrace of process. So once we don’t let the hard days when we’re moving into embrace process, unpack that.
Jake Thompson 28:18
Yeah, so a couple of key pieces for this chapter, especially in relates to traveling and being on the road is the idea of just embrace the process of traveling, have the opportunities have the experiences. And the second piece is choosing progress over perfection. And so this first piece talking about embracing the process, it’s the idea of sometimes it’s tiring to be on the road, we can be worn out when we’re constantly traveling the hotel, the hotel, cab airplane, it’s exhausting on us. But what are we doing to take advantage of that experience? What are we doing to talk to the person next to us on the plane and maybe make a new network connection make a new front? What are we doing to when we go to a local city
Jake Thompson 28:59
Trying to local restaurants seeking out something new seeing something that we’ve never seen before that that was a big piece to me of. The first time I was traveling for work I’d be in and out as fast as I possibly can I would stay in the hotel I’d never venture out. And then after a year or two, I was like, Man, I’m going to some pretty cool cities, I’m missing opportunities to see things to embrace this I’m already here. Why don’t I learn to love the process of traveling as much as I do delivering the work? And so I would try to find local restaurants or for me it was kind of a donut shop Hunt was the fun thing I would do finding fun little off the beaten path finds, going to see different things making time out to embrace this thing. And then I found that travel was still as exhausting as it was before. But I had so many more experiences and stories and interactions which changed my entire perspective on the process. And then the second piece of progress over perfection. Every social setting we can be in is all about how perfect Can I How can I make sure I have it all together. And a lot of times when we take that perspective in life, we fail to try anything new, we fail to grow and push ourselves because we’re worried about not looking perfect. We’re worried what other people might think when in reality, we need to learn to build and grow and focus on how we’re just going to get better instead of what other people are thinking about. Our biggest fear of what other people are thinking about us is always so funny. Because we always to a degree struggle with it. But everyone’s thinking about what you’re thinking about them. They’re not thinking about you as much. And if they are really doesn’t matter, like you just put your head down and get better.
Jake Thompson 30:38
And one of the examples in the book is about stand up comedians, and how they go on stage and tell bad jokes. And they just work their material in these tiny off beaten path clubs, just to get better to get good enough to get great to have their Netflix special. Like they work that process and they’re not worried about the bad night or the bad jokes. They’re just saying how do I get better today. So for when we’re on the road, you’ve got pillars that you’re teaching people on how to apply. You may not hit the mark every day. But if you wake up the next day and say, How am I going to do better today with this? How am I going to be more intentional with that? That’s how you really lean into building that winning process and embracing it every step of the way.
Bryan Paul Buckley 31:27
I hope you found this unique episode of the interview mashup not only helpful but also challenge you to go back and listen to the full interview from each of the interviews. In this episode, Episode 64, with Wayne Lee, Episode 66 with Marcey Rader, Episode 74, with John Di Domenico, Episode 76 with Justin Pugh and Episode 78 with Jake Thompson. So, wherever you are on the road, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life the road for you to become an elite Road Warrior today. You got this!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai