Complimentary Analysis

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Eight Questions I Ask Every Morning on the Road

Do you know what most business travelers do when they wake up in the morning on the road in their hotel room?

First guess would be to hit snooze on the alarm and many do.

But Elite Road Warrior Group Research has shown that most business travelers…

Reach for their phone.

Why? Well, there’s a handful of reasons but no matter the reason there is always one thing in common:

It hijacks their morning.

Why? Because it’s a time sucker especially if we jump into checking the news or social media.

It’s also filled with OPAs – other people’s agenda.

  • What they want or need from you
  • What they want to tell you
  • What they want you to buy

Many lose a half hour or more and haven’t even climbed out of bed yet!

No condemnation here, road warrior.

I believed and justified in my head that if I could “just get ahead” by looking at my email, calendar, Slack or WeChat, etc. it would help me.

Lies nothing but lies!

I used to be so unintentional and reactive to whatever caught my attention or the path of least resistance in the morning on the road.

So I get it.

But here’s what I missed.

I missed the gift of the morning.

I missed the silence.
I missed the solitude.
I missed the chance to invest in me, the one thing nobody else can do for me.

And nobody else will guard unless I seize it.

And the morning is the perfect place for it especially if I’ve had a good night of rest.

Let me state upfront – right now, my 1st hour in the morning on the road is filled only with energy habits.

The two largest of my morning energy habits are:

  1. MOVE – Increase M4X – stand more / walk more / run more / lift more
  2. DEVELOP – Sharpen the Mind / Process the Thoughts / Monitor the Heart

And my motto is two phrases which you may have heard me say over and over:

  • Consistency Over Length
  • Something, Anything, is Better Than Nothing

Many ask how I spend my mornings on the road and that’s the crux of this episode.

But before we get to that, let me tell you two things I do immediately.

  1. Hydrate – (Fuel – Continually Hydrate) with 16 oz water, lemon, sea salt, and greens powder
  2. Read – (Sharpen the Mind and Process the Thoughts) – Bible/something inspirational (if it’s the day of a flight, I save this reading for the 1st 20-30 minutes of the flight which you’ll learn in the podcast episode Seven Things I Do on Every Single Flight)

Once those two habits are done, I move on to my Elite Road Warrior Journal. It has two portions:

  1. Think Space (Process the Thoughts) dotted page Notebook
  2. Eight Questions Journal (Monitory the Heart) blank page Notebook

Here are some initial questions people ask about my personal process:

1.How long do you take to journal your questions?

    • 5-15 minutes

2. Where do you journal?

    • Most of the time in my hotel room at a desk but sometimes if my hotel is near a park, forest, a body of water, etc., I’ll choose there.

One time I climbed Mount Spokane and journaled there – talk about silent/solitude / and inspiring!

3. What do you write with?

I use different colors for different reasons when I write for both my Monitor the Heart journal and Think Space journal

4. What do you write in?

    • Elite Road Warrior Branded Journal

5. What does your layout look like?

    • Top Left – location
    • Top Right – date (for example: M.10.10.19)

I use two pages of my journal so there’s a lot of free space.

 

Before we get into the Eight Questions I Answer Every Morning on the Road, let’s talk about WHY I do it. The road has the ability to suck out any empathy, compassion, generosity, etc. within a person and especially men.

I found that too often I was coming home jaded and it was affecting my wife and kids. I was bringing home the stress of the road from the long hours to the draining people I encountered and my family and friends didn’t really care for “that Bry” or “that guy” if you will.

I didn’t grow up journaling. I didn’t have examples of people around me journaling. Notetakers, yes, but not journalers and there’s a difference.

I viewed journaling as a girly diary-thing, and therefore not for me.

And when I eventually tried it after prompting from a mentor, I sucked at it. I was SO inconsistent. Huge entry one day then days and weeks would pass with radio silence and major gaps.

Then my perfectionism would come out because if I journal, I wanted to do it “just right.”

Way…Too…Much…Pressure.

And I quit.

A few years ago Scott Mawdesley, our lead SME for Develop, really challenged me that it’s more important THAT I write, not what I write and I should try journaling “just one line” per entry.

I could write more but Write One Line became my mantra.

And you know what? It worked.

Then another mentor of mine, Jonathan Milligan, encouraged me with key questions he asked himself every morning to give structure to his journaling and encouraged me to do the same – hence the Eight Questions I Answer Every Morning on the Road.

But WHY do I journal these questions and what comes as a result?

1. Clarity – What do I want out of my life
2. Themes – What’s happening on a consistent basis in my life – what are the patterns I wouldn’t normally see without reflecting
3. Focus – where should I spend my time

Eight Questions I Answer Every Morning on the Road

I have three simple categories for my questions:

  • Review Yesterday – 3 questions
  • Reflect Now – 2 questions
  • Rehearse Today – 3 questions

 

REVIEW YESTERDAY

1.  What Happened Yesterday?

I want to be able to track my time so I know what my day looked like. I want to be able to remember that specific day at a glance.

I want to know:

  • Was I productive?
  • Was there margin in my day and where?
  • Did the six energy habits exist?

This is GREAT intel at the end of my month and the end of my quarter when I review my journal to see how I spent my time

2. What Were My Biggest Wins?

These are some answers of what I actually accomplished.

Some days my response is “busy but not productive” – I detest these days on the road.

I want to see forward motion on my goals for the week and the day to day big wins give me that intel.

3. What Were My Lessons Learned?

This may come from what I read or listened to the past day. It may be from my big wins or lack thereof.

It’s how I’m doing and what I’m learning in regards to the three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior: Work/Health/Home Life.

This is feedback on if and how I’m growing on a DAILY basis – is there a theme?

This 3rd question challenges me and sometimes it takes me a minute or two to think of something if the answer is not top of mind.

Note: sometimes I may need to move on to another question and come back to it but I always want to answer this key question.

REFLECT NOW

4. Who/What Am I Thankful For RIGHT NOW?

This is the GRATITUDE CHECK
Learn to ask: “Who or what am I grateful for right now?”

I have to be honest, some days it’s easy to mail it in and put something generic but that’s not the goal.

It’s The Who and/or the What but also the WHY – why am I thankful for that person or situation?

I’ve learned through the years people I’m grateful for actually don’t know I’m grateful for them UNLESS I TELL THEM!

This is a GREAT chance to prompt you to take action RIGHT THEN to let them know – send them a text/email, or leave a voicemail.

Sometimes I actually take a picture of that answer in my journal and send it to them.

You’d be shocked how much this little gesture means to people especially people who you care about and are thankful for.

If I’m struggling to answer this question on a consistent basis, this is a heart issue on my part that needs attention.

5. How Am I Feeling Right Now?

This is the PULSE CHECK
Learn to ask: “How am I REALLY doing?”
I know what you guys are thinking: here’s the diary “touchy/feely” part of the program.

And you’re right – suck it up and try it.

I’m not asking for you to write paragraphs and have a Kleenex available.

Mine are short bullets.

For example:

  • Exhausted from…
  • Better rested because…
  • Proud of…
  • Disappointed in…
  • Frustrated by…
  • Missing home right now…
  • Motivated to…

Nothing earth-shattering but I want a pulse on how I’m really doing.

Am I seeing patterns of day-after-day-after-day of being frustrated or tired?

This question is not nearly as hard as you think especially if you do it bullet style and lead with a key emotion word: proud, disappointed, tired, motivated, etc.

Three “Rehearse the Day” questions. Why rehearse the day? It’s like an athlete playing their game in their mind.

Too often we just let the Road Day happen to us.

We’re not intentional and then we wonder why our road day gets hijacked and we’re ALWAYS up until midnight working.

REHEARSE TODAY

6. What Are My Big 3 Today?

This is a concept from Michael Hyatt in his Full Focus Planner.

The Daily Big 3 are designed to come from the Weekly Big 3 which come from your Quarterly Big 3.

I set quarterly goals in business but also in life so my weekly Big 3 should influence your daily big 3.

If I have a heavy travel day, these are key.

What do I want to get done on my 4-hour flight?

If I have a heavy meeting or event day, maybe my Big 3 need to happen 1st thing in the morning.

Pro Tip: almost every single business travel day one of my Big 3 is energy habit six: CONNECT – I want to make my family a high priority within my day which means I need to schedule it.

7. What is Today’s Highlight?

I learned this one from the book, Make Time.

The authors have three ways to determine your day’s highlight:

  • Something URGENT that must get done today and will be a huge relief if and when it is done
  • Something SATISFYING that will make you feel pleased and proud it’s completed
  • Something that brings you JOY – what you look forward to = mine is usually my downtime activity

And the last of the 8 questions and final of the Rehearse Today questions

8. How/What Would Make Today Great?

I credit this question to Jonathan Milligan, my mentor and friend, who challenged me to answer this question each day.

And it was a challenge but now I depend on this last question.

Alan Stein, Jr. in his book, Raise Your Game, states there are only two things in life you have control over:

  • Your attitude
  • Your effort

And oftentimes my response is one of those that deal with the six energy habits

I want and I need to make each day on the road GREAT.

I want to be at my best and no longer just get by but leverage each day on the road to get better.

 

I answer these eight questions on the road every morning but also at home.

Did you catch that? Both on the road but also at home now. This is not ONLY a Road Thing.

Action Items

1. Just start – write one line for each question, and maybe you have your own questions.

2. Order the Elite Road Warrior Branded Journal – enjoy what you journal in. For me, I love the leather – the look and the feel. I love the paper in the journal. I love the pens I write with and the leather case they’re kept in. This makes a HUGE difference when it comes time to write. I’m also proud to carry it around.

 

 

 

Five Decisions You Must Make at Every Restaurant on the Road

One of the best parts of being a business traveler is the food experience.

It’s great not having to cook or clean up.

Then there’s the ability to chose the type of food you want:

  • Steak
  • Seafood
  • Italian
  • Mexican
  • Thai
  • …and the list goes on.

But wait, there’s more!

Then you get to choose what you want to order off the menu.

Oh the choices.
Oh the temptations!

And the best part of all? You’re not paying for it!

Or at least not yet, right?!

The nights you’re with a customer or client or team dinner, there are no limits.

Choose that appetizer or wine you’ve always wanted to try but never could afford.

Order that top-shelf liquor – heck, make it a double!

But on the company card, of course.

Bring it on!

Yet there is a cost. A heavy cost. And too many road warriors literally carry that cost with them all over their body from flight to board room to hotel. The travel triangle. The weight is literally weighing them down and the scale only goes up.

However, each decision can be easier if you view eating out on the road with the following lenses:

  • Food is Fuel
  • Fuel is Energy

This mindset is critical because it’s not based on the here and now “oh that looks or smells good” but on how I will feel later when we oftentimes need the energy.

The energy to….

  • Finish that proposal
  • Review the presentation
  • Get to bed at a decent time

I not only made the wrong decisions for years, I had the weight to prove it.

You’ve heard of the Freshman 15.
Then there’s the Travel 20.
And being the over-achiever I was on the road, I doubled it and earned what I call “the Entitled 40”

The reality is I could justify my choices and behaviors all day long and night for that matter.

And who was going to argue with me? The business traveler who struggling with the same issues? They’re my biggest supporter!

The point is you need to come to a point in your Road Life where you begin to think about your health along with your work.

We focus too much on the work aspect of the road in general when our health and our home life suffer just as much if not more.

This is why Elite Road Warrior has three focus areas:

  • Work
  • Health
  • Home Life

You do have choices.

And your choices have consequences.

I used to be the guy who said,

“Wow, that looks good. Oh, that looks good, I’ll try that too.”

“Another drink, please?”

“Look at that dessert! I’ll just try a bite”…. until it’s gone.

Leader of the pack! So, I get the battle of eating out on the road ALL-THE-TIME.

I’ve since lost the Entitled 40 in pounds and have kept it off.

I’ve stopped “getting by” on the road and chosen to “get better” and that means every time you eat out on the road.

There is hope and you can learn to leverage the road to get better. And I’m here to be your guide.

All five key decisions are in full effect the most at dinner when we’re much more relaxed potentially after a long travel day or a stressful day on the road but these apply to lunch too.

Five Key Decisions You Must Make at Every Restaurant on the Road

These five decisions are naturally in order. They shouldn’t surprise you but somehow we act surprised when the server comes by and asks us these five questions.

Every.
Single.
Time.

And the nicer the restaurant, the more choices you’ll have right before your very eyes, oftentimes even presented to you on a literal silver platter.

Decision One – What I Will Drink

At dinner time, “the entitled me” always seems to show up ready to go no matter how last night went if you know what I mean.

And depending on if ‘I’m alone for dinner with my laptop lover or entertaining guests or being entertained, I enjoy the wine part of the “wine and dine”.

This is where the slippery slope begins and we have to “know thyself.”

For me, the more I drink, the sloppier I become on my nutrition, especially after a long day.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Always and I mean always order a glass of water if one is not already provided for you. Then here’s the key: drink as much as you can to start. Why?
    • Most of us are more dehydrated than we even think so getting some water into your system is always a smart decision
    • 2. Water fills us up and hopefully detours us from over-eating
    • Join the Free WMP – water match program so whatever drink you do order, make sure you match it 1:1 with water. This will keep you hydrated the rest of the night and especially save you from waking up overly-parched and feeling like you’ve swallowed cotton balls that seem to multiply throughout the night
  • Think about what you’re really drinking and how much you plan to or should drink. Are you going to stay with one type of drink or hop all over the place? For me, when I start hopping, I start paying for it and I don’t mean the tab. Through the years, I’ve become a vodka tonic guy and it’s served me well.

Decision Two – Will I Order an Appetizer

This decision doesn’t come far behind the 1st decision of What I Will Drink.

I never order an appetizer when I’m by myself but somehow am overly tempted with other people.

It’s like each person is waiting for the other one to say “no thanks” or “sure, what looks good to you?”

The appetizer can be the “gotcha” to the meal. When I give in to something especially unhealthy, I get lazy at everything after that point.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Always pre-decide – this means don’t base your decision on what looks and/or smells good. If you do, you’re going down like a Mike Tyson punch.
  • If you choose, eat the cleaner and greener appetizer.
  • If you’re a moderator, which means you can take just one bite and stop, stick to the plan
  • If you’re an abstainer, which means if you start, hide the women and children, it’s going to get ugly quick and the appetizer will disappear, Know Thyself, and don’t start.
  • Order a dark green salad – this is my go-to-choice for a few reasons:
    1. I avoid the tempting and fattening appetizer
    2. It allows me to get in healthy clean greens – just be smart with the toppings and dressings

Remember, Clean and Green is the 2nd element of FUEL after Continually Hydrate. So, use this time to get the good stuff in early – meaning the clean and green stuff.

Decision Three – What Is My Main Course

Ah, the featured presentation. This is why we’re here eating out, well, at least as far as food is concerned.

And depending on the restaurant, this may not be top-secret. If you’re at a chophouse, duh. If you’re at a seafood place, you get the point.

There are two main choices here:

  1. The main course needs to be Clean – look for the cleanest meat possible whether beef, chicken, eggs. If it’s really clean, it will list “grass-fed or organic” which means this is your easiest choice. If not, your 2nd main choice becomes all the more important
  2. What goes ON the main course – we can make a great clean decision with the main course then go five steps backward by all the heavy sauces, etc.

You may fight back and say, “but that’s what gives it all the flavor! And there is truth to it. But it doesn’t mean going ALL or Nothing.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Always do your research – most restaurants now have online menus, so do some intel. Why? Avoid impulse choosing.
  • Put the sauce on the side – sometimes when it’s doused all over the place, you’re forced to eat ALL of it. But if you can just try it, maybe it’s not as good as advertised. Sometimes just a dip here and there is all you need and a better choice in the long run.
  • Add First Then Reverse – first and foremost, get the healthy in. Start there if this is not natural yet and feels like too big of an ask. Add the good stuff in first then begin reversing by taking the bad stuff off. For example, the sauces all over the meat or salad.

Decision Four – What Are My Side Dishes

This may seem like a default decision from your choice of the main dish. But not always.

You can go rogue and choose a side other than what the menu suggests or compels you to choose.

And most restaurants will allow you to easily make the change and sometimes with a very small upcharge. Not a big deal and worth the cost to eat clean and green.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Always have at least one vegetable and preferably with not a ton of processing – steamed broccoli/asparagus / green beans, sautéed spinach, cauliflower, etc.
  • Choose a sweet potato over a baked potato or fries
  • Choose double veggies – another way to sneak in more “Green” of the clean and green.
  • Take a healthy side to go – I do this very often since almost every hotel I stay at has at least a mini-fridge and a microwave.

Decision Five – If I Will Have Dessert

You know they always ask if you want dessert, and if you’re not prepared, you go back to the awkward moment of deciding on the spot.

I tell this story in the Elite Road Warrior book about how at a dinner of 12, a one-pound brownie with a gallon of ice cream covered in whipped cream came out and after hundreds and hundreds of dollars were put on the table as a bet of who could eat it, I took on the challenge (mind you, this was during my Entitled 40 days…).

Impressively and sadly, I finished it then couldn’t digest it, lie down, or sleep for 48 hours. Brutal. Stupid (at least I donated the money).

All that to say, I’ve been the freak in the freak show so I understand the power of decision five: If I will have dessert.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Learn to say “no” upfront so others know where you stand
  • Know if you’re a moderator or abstainer – I know the “wanna be moderators” whose “just a bite” is the gift that keeps on giving or should I say taking. I’ve eaten with you people.
  • Choose a fruit bowl – this is my go-to when I want something sweet but not go down heavy with the dessert. I love anything berries and you can’t go wrong.
  • Carry dark chocolate with you – my wife and I are huge Trader Joe dark chocolate lovers. I carry a bar with me – far healthier choice and less ugly in the long run.

If you follow these five decisions you must make at every restaurant on the road in the healthiest form, you will win with nutrition in business travel.

And you will have the energy to prove it along with fewer pounds to carry.

I get you because I am you!

References

10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

7 Early Warning Signs for Companies to Avoid Business Travel Burnout

How an Unexpected Surgery Has Exposed Struggles in my Life

This article will be unusual for a few reasons:
1. It discusses my off-road life
2. It’s personal
3. It’s something I’ve never experienced and challenges the six energy habits

I’m known as a very healthy guy and work hard to keep this elite status both on the road and at home.
Then 2020 hit. If Covid-19 wasn’t disruptive enough in every area of life, 2020 was brutal on the health side in the Buck Fam.

In May, my 9-year old was severely burned and it was one of the scariest moments of my life as I wondered if my son would have skin damage for the remainder of his life. He’s come a long way amidst this scare and time will tell on the long-term scarring.

Then I had a colonoscopy and a scope done due to unknown stomach issues. Another rough health stretch that required going in-and-out of the hospital.

Over the summer, I severely bruised my rib and pulled some muscles playing with the kids that required X-rays and an MRI and dramatically affected my summer.  #RoughHealthStretch

Until….
I had the mother of all falls. And due to the severely bruised rib and pulled muscles, I instantly protected my ribs at the cost of my shoulder. For weeks, I just pushed through it and it kept getting worse. Then… my 4-year old flew through the air with the greatest of ease from a retaining wall and absolutely finished the job on my left shoulder.

The next day something pops and a few days later, I’m getting an MRI. If the technician’s face had words, it was “you have no idea what you’re in for buddy.” 24 hours later I’m seeing a specialist at Northwestern Medicine in the Chicago land area who told me I had multiple tears in my rotator cuff. Within 36 hours, I meet with the surgeon, and my surgery was made for the next possible surgery slot.

Now, if you’ve ever had “one of those surgeries” everyone has a story for, you know what I’m talking about and this is definitely in that category. At this point, I listen, smile, or read the text, and just say thank you.

Surgery happened a few days ago,

Exposed Struggle #1 – I’m getting little to no movement

Movement creates energy.

First taken away was my ability to lift any weights after the initial injury which was an immediate red flag that something was wrong. After the 2nd blow, I lost the ability to do any cardio due to the pounding on the shoulder.

This has left me to standing and walking which as you know, “something, anything is better than nothing.”

But I’m feeling the loss of Run More and Lift More in Energy Habit One: MOVE.

Post-surgery, I’m having to spend a ton of time icing so my stand time has decreased as well.

Physical therapy starts soon and it will be three months of intensity – bring it on.

I know this will be the longest of my exposed struggles due to the nature of the injury but each day feels like a month at this point.

Word to Myself: Walk Away – I need to increase my walk time every chance I get every single day and no matter what the weather

Exposed Struggle #2 – I’m unstructured and unproductive

I was able to get work done pre-surgery up until the back-to-back tests and doctor appointments but I had no idea how much I would be scattered and unmotivated post-surgery.

My pain has been higher than planned and for the first time I’m balancing lack of meds and pain with clarity or more meds, less pain, and cloudy. #NotAFan

I don’t have my normal morning routines because my nights are absolutely brutal. Even though I took off work and I’m playing it day-by-day, each day just feels like a meandering of nothing really getting done.

And for someone who is a high achiever and loves seeing results, there is more pain than just my shoulder shooting pains!

I get it. I’m days after a surgery that majorly affects my day-to-day life. But I’m already done with feeling like I’m wasting hours and now, days.

Word to Myself: Get a Plan – I need to start with my morning routine to begin my day with structure and then choose one major thing I can accomplish every single day.

 

Exposed Struggle #3 – I’m a night owl again

By nature, I come alive in the evening especially if I stay up past 10:00 pm. Something in my body ignites and I’m ready to go another round or two.

I used to stay up late all the time. I can blame the NBA and MLB playoffs which usually are my fall mistress but it’s far more than just some games that I don’t have a dog in the fight. My family goes to bed and I’m clocking hour after hour of awake time which I used to be “that guy.”

Word to Myself: Sleep with your wife! I need to go to bed with my wife no matter what even if it takes me forever to crash. I need to put a “kibosh” on this loose bedtime which is never good.

 

Exposed Struggle #4 – I’m lazy on my eating

My meds have affected my appetite so I’m all over the place of what and when I’m eating.

Then you add the exposed struggle of becoming a night owl again. And what did I do when I stayed up late before? Trashed a perfectly good eating day in a matter of moments with the late-night cravings.

I cannot depend on those around me to make good choices for me. Unfortunately, when I’m not working out, I’m lazier on my diet but I cannot let this one go especially with being down for three months of intense physical therapy.

I know better and need to get a new hot streak going in the right direction eating healthier.

Word to Myself: MTHC (Make the Healthiest Choice) – I need to continually hydrate more along with eat cleaner and greener

 

Exposed Struggle #5 – I’m not sleeping

Between us girls, the roughest part of my post-surgery recovery has been sleeping (or the lack thereof). I’m like a pet taking multiple short naps through the night. And it’s absolutely killing me. It affects my early morning routine which I mentioned, and then it affects my structure and productivity, already mentioned.

I have this gadget called the “ultra sling” which keeps my arm in a certain position for my rotator cuff to heal after multiple tears that had to be re-attached. I get it and understand it but I struggle so much during the night time.

It was recommended to sleep in a recliner but again, that’s the nap spot and I’m just not comfortable there all night every night. I prefer my bed.

And as a result, I may be in my own bed, then the recliner, then the guest bed all in one night and it’s killing me, smalls!

Word to Myself: Don’t make it worse – I need to make the best of the rest I get knowing it will eventually get better

Exposed Struggle #6 – I’m drinking at home like I’m entertaining on the road

This one has been already in the works with Covid and all of the changes that have challenged my family and especially me the past six months.

But I’ve succumbed to drinking to make me feel better and this is a slippery slope at best. I’m not in a good place and drinking all the time like I’m entertaining on the road is not the answer.

I’m drinking less amounts but the frequency needs to be addressed.

I’m not a good example in this area for my kids and this needs to matter to me more especially right now since everyone is home all of the time.

Word to Myself: Lay off the Sauce – I need to “be dried out” during the week. No excuses.

These side exposed struggles have exposed three primary emotions I’m experiencing on a consistent basis:

  • Frustration – I can’t move as I’ve always done. I literally cannot move my arm and it’s paralyzing and frustrating to need so much help and struggle on so many simple tasks like taking a shower, getting dressed, really anything that requires two hands
  •  Anxiety – I’ve never had a limb so damaged and affect my life and it’s created this rare emotion in me. I’m anxious around people. I feel trapped in the sling especially at night and it’s revealed a level of anxiousness that is concerning to me.
  • Depression – I’ve not been one to stay discouraged or depressed for long but all of the financial and health blows my family and I have suffered this year have put me in a place where I’m fighting this demon. It’s also feeding some of these struggles such as not eating well, not wanting to go for a walk, not caring if I’m structured or productive, and definitely drinking too often.

I need to be honest, I hate admitting these struggles but I want to be real to you in the good and the bad. This unexpected injury and now surgery exposed these struggles and deep emotions that are overwhelming but part of my journey right now especially being off the road.

I hope you found my vulnerability sincere and refreshing. As my brother has taught me for decades, “this too shall pass.” I’ve been through worse and will choose to grow through it not just go through it.

I’m blessed to have close friends and a counselor to process these struggles and emotions which is absolutely critical right now in my life. I want to help you become and remain an Elite Road Warriar today to eliminate burnout and exceed results.

You Got This!

References

10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

7 Early Warning Signs for Companies to Avoid Business Travel Burnout

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side Of Business Travel

I’m going to go dark in this article so I’m warning you upfront – reader beware!

No harsh-rated language but going to hit on some very personal topics we’ve never really done a deep dive in especially for this topic so I wanted to be very clear where we’re headed.

The reason I want to cover this dark topic is that it’s so real and nobody really talks about it especially in the context of business travel. But we are right now.

I met Charles about a decade ago when my business travel days were really intensifying and I was going at an unsustainable pace.

Let me paint a picture of exactly where we were for this unexpected heart-to-heart conversation. Charles and I were sitting at a bar at a high-end restaurant attached to this incredible hotel. We were eating a steak dinner and watching the game.

Like most conversations, you jostle for conversational position until you find common ground and everything gets easier from that point on (and that’s exactly happened between the two of us).

The conversation moved from sports to work to where we lived and we hit it off. It wasn’t forced conversation and we had a lot in common which is rare for two guys especially on the road.

We also were drinking. A lot and for hours. You know, the kind of place where you open up more due to the secret sauce. And that’s exactly what it became for Charles.

Secret sauce meaning he shared secrets that were dark.

Now, when I say dark I don’t mean evil or criminal, at least in his case, I mean, nobody else knew and you can tell he was relieved to get these secrets out.

So, do you wanna know Charles’ secrets? We’ll get to that soon enough but I wanted to set the stage for where we’re headed.

I meet far more Charles’s through the decades of travel than you could possibly imagine.

I’ve learned the reason many open up to me is for the following reasons:

  1. I ask questions
  2. I listen to their answers
  3. I’m honest
  4. I try not to rush them
  5. I don’t judge
  6. I try to give hope

That’s it – simple but not easy communication and emotional intelligence skills.

As a result, I’ve found a common theme within these conversations through the years about the dark side of business travel.

Now, this is important: not a single road warrior I’ve met had any intention of ever going to the dark side of business travel. In fact, many will admit early on, they judged big time “the sins of the sinner” if you will when hearing of others bad road choices.

They told me they swore to themselves they would “never go there”…

But eventually, they became “that guy” or “that girl” which is the way it almost always works.

And I’m not here to judge because I’ve personally experienced the dark side of business travel.

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Did you catch that last line?

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Every person’s situation is different on the road. Some travel in teams, others travel to a location, and are with reps almost the entire trip. Then there are those who are solo artists, completely by themselves except during their meetings, presentations, etc.

As a result, the dark side can appear differently in different situations and choices.

These choices create the opportunity for a downward spiral, meaning that once you start, it’s easy to get sucked into the spiral and keep going down and down which can tend to get darker and darker.

My hope in discussing this is that by being willing to talk about some tough subjects, we can identify potential choices we’re making right now and can make some changes before it’s too late and there are serious consequences.

So, let’s discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

Let’s go back to Charles’ story. He was a sharp, good looking, athletic, and influential VP who had everything you could want: huge home, fancy cars, gorgeous wife, cute kids, and you can continue the ongoing list of wants…

Including secrets.

The more Charles talked and knew I was listening, understood, and actually cared, the more he shared.

And the reality is nobody would ever guess he would be dealing with these secrets.

It was like I become his priest that night at the hotel bar. So much pain, so much guilt and regret he was carrying inside of him on every single business trip like a half-ton carry-on suitcase.

What I learned from Charles now that I reflect years later and meeting so many other Charles’s and even Cheryls, is a common theme, thread if you will, from where they started to where they are right now.

Each of these downward spiral choices can stand alone but many are tied together in some way which you’ll see.

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side of Business Travel

ONE – The Choice to Become the Road Grinch

This is for the seasoned road warrior and time on the road just takes your heart three sizes down like the original grinch.

It starts for those of us who look up at the flight board or wake up in the morning in a hotel and forget what city you’re going to or in at the moment.

All the food begins to taste the same.

You just go through the motions and everything begins to annoy you.

You’ve met this guy. I seem to find him often at the airport when I’m ready to board or at the airport or hotel bar.

Everything is negative. Every aspect of the road:

  • Airport / Airline / Flight
  • Rental car or Rideshare
  • Hotel
  • The food
  • Customers

There are two specific characteristics of the Road Grinch:

  • You Become Callous

You’ve lost all capacity to care. You have little to no understanding or compassion for anything or anyone.

People are no longer human to you, only annoyances.

And research shows, dehumanizing people is a sign of business travel burnout. You’ll know this is you when you start to become numb and your feelings are a thing of the past.

  • You Become Cynical

You’re cynical of other people and seemingly all people who don’t share your view of business travel.

You’re cynical of the world. Nothing is good. Nothing is right.

Warning! It’s easy to get sucked into Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha. This is true for me especially when I’m frustrated, tired, or hungry. And I’m easy prey for Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha if I’m all three!

Here’s the Caution: you become poison for all those around you and you don’t even know it and/or don’t even care. All the more proof you’re now the callous and cynical Road Grinch! You’re also more likely to continue the downward spiral because you just don’t care anymore.

TWO – The Choice to Experiment

This choice can be a hazard, especially for a new business traveler.

It’s amazing the opportunities to try about anything on the road depending on what city you’re in, who you’re with, and if you’re looking for a stress release.

It’s like we’re back in high school easily giving in to peer pressure or we’re invincible once again. Remember those days of old?

But now, after all, we are Road WARRIORS, right?!

This one is a challenge because the company card can definitely become an encourager or an enabler. After all, it’s not YOUR money! Or someone offers to treat you. Can’t offend them now.

  • You’re with co-workers or a client who smokes and you try it or pick smoking back up when you gave it up years ago
  • You’re in Vegas for work and you try gambling
  • You try this beer, then this type of wine, then this liquor

Warning! This is where you easily become “that guy” or “that girl” who got drunk at the corporate event or customer dinner. Or pushed it too far and now you become the story you regret and can never seem to live down. I’ve seen too many a rookie road warrior learn the hard way when choosing to experiment.

Here’s the Caution: Experimenting in and of itself isn’t wrong. It’s good to try new things depending on what the new things are of course and the potential consequences. Just realize where this could lead.

THREE – The Choice to Develop Bad Habits

Now we’re taking the opportunity to experiment and making it darker.

What used to be a simple experiment has now become part of your road routine:

  • The occasional DRINK becomes I gotta have my drink
  • The occasional SMOKE becomes I’m now taking regular smoke breaks every day, multiple times a day
  • The occasional GAMBLE just because it was in front of me now becomes gambling on anything and everything
  • The occasional curiosity with PORN becomes your new road thing every night before bed

I’ve found that many a road warrior who is a closet drinker, smoker, gambler, and porn viewer has a much bigger problem on their hands and they’re officially deep into the dark side of business travel.

The challenge is we don’t personally see when our experiment becomes our vice. Others do but we don’t. And if they have the courage to bring it up, what’s the proof that it’s an issue and habit? We get defensive and downplay our bad habits.

Warning! Bad habits are enabled on the road due to the availability, temptation, and seclusion.

Caution: Learning to ask if our habits are bringing us energy or simply a stress release. This is a hard question and requires honesty on our motives but separates existing road warriors from elite road warriors.

FOUR – The Choice to Feed Addictions

The downward spiral continues from the experiment (or just picking up again what you tried or did years ago) to a road habit to a full-blown addiction.

You’ve fed this tiny little experimental puppy and now it’s a trained killer dog who will defend himself to the death and do anything to get what he wants.

  • I HAVE to find cigarettes.
  • I GOTTA have a drink and now.
  • I’m VIEWING porn all the time.

And the road is a perfect place for two things:

  • Developing and feeding that addiction
  • Hiding that addiction

I’m not an addiction specialist by any means, but I notice others are walking a fine line between a bad habit that is close to or full-on addiction.

It alters their entire business trip. They “have to have it” and need to “stop now to get it” no matter how it affects you or your business results.

I have literally witnessed guys viewing porn on their phones at the airport gate.

I’ve cleaned up messes from others whose addiction reared its ugly head on business trips.

Of course, they have absolutely no clue how much control this “said addiction” has on them and their full-time job has become the role of a defense attorney.

Not a fan of newly-developed Denny Defense.

Warning! This is a scary place to be and often, a road warrior never wants or can leave the road because the road enables their addiction although they rarely admit it.

Here’s the Caution: Steer clear of the addict on the road unless it’s you and then get help before it has serious consequences for you.

FIVE – The Choice to Make Bad Moral Decisions

This one can be subjective depending upon your values. I hear often how road warriors will justify their moral decisions. Basically put, their convincing themselves what they want and are planning to do is okay so they can move forward with their actions.

I hear all too often from many a road warrior, “I only do this (insert dark side behavior) on the road.” And that somehow makes it right?!

Again, I’m not the judge but you can often and quickly tell when someone is telling this story if they’re trying to convince you while they’re still trying to convince themselves.

The biggest dark side of business travel moral decision I hear is:

  • Cheating on a spouse or significant other

This could be with a co-worker, road mistress, one-night stand.

This may be a one-time action or the start of a relationship.

  • This could be strip clubs when it’s against your morals or would dishonor a spouse or significant other
  • This could be massage parlors (full body if you know what I mean)
  • This could be prostitutes
  • Risky behavior that can have serious relational and even criminal consequences

But it doesn’t stop just there. Another choice could be driving under the influence. We would seemingly never do it at home but on the road, we seem to justify this decision.

And I get it, in the past, I’ve put myself in that same foolish decision before assuming I could do a risk analysis after two double vodka tonics and a bottle of wine.

The point here is not the debate of what is a moral decision or not, although I personally believe if you’re a Christian and follower of Christ, those answers are crystal clear. The point is we all have a moral compass that can get tested and we know if we should cross it or if we’re coming close to crossing it.

Again, they’re easy to justify at the moment:

  • I was okay to drive and nothing happened.
  • I didn’t touch.
  • It was only a kiss.
  • Clothes were still on.
  • We didn’t go ALL the way.
  • It was a one-night stand and it will never happen again.
  • My wife would be fine with it (although she doesn’t exactly know)

Let’s circle back to Charles’ story… he became so successful, so empowered, and so isolated, nobody dared question him or his expense reports. He knew how to play the game and justify anything. “It was for the customer, the client really wanted to try this or do this…” (of course it was almost always Charles’ idea).

Charles started his downward spiral with experimenting, which led to habits, which led to addiction, which led to bad moral decisions. He became callous, cynical, and eventually reckless yet you would never know it on the outside.

Charles had all five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

But here’s the irony: what you saw on the outside was only half of the story. Charles was also on his 2nd marriage, unhappy, and addicted to porn. He was estranged from his kids and had so many regrets.

He claimed he was up working late but couldn’t stop scrolling porn sites which led to other risky behavior such as massages and prostitutes.

But all we saw on the outside if Charles was the essence of success. Or so we thought…

Warning! The power of freedom and the power of choice on the road is a fast track to the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and Charles is living proof.

We all want to become like him in his success but no clue of the cost of his success and his hidden dark side of failures.

Here’s the Caution: Bad moral decisions are absolutely devastating to the road warrior. There is increased opportunity for regret due to isolation as a road warrior and we must understand the environment of the road.

Let me leave you with one question and one word:

One Word: Integrity

Our integrity matters no matter where we are but especially on the road.

The road has so many great opportunities and gifts but with the good lies the opportunity for bad and we need to be aware of the downward spirals that can lead us into the dark side of business travel and this is when your integrity matters the most.

One Question: Someone may never know of your choices but what does a secret do to our heart/soul?

It absolutely haunted Charles and I will never forget that night as he poured out his heart and soul with the secrets of his lack of integrity.

It is possible to live a life of integrity on the road and I challenge you to do it.

  • Know when you’re becoming a Road Grinch who is callous and cynical.
  • Know when an experiment should end.
  • Know when you’re developing bad habits.
  • Know when your bad habit owns you and you’re addicted.
  • Know when you’re facing a bad moral decision.

And choose integrity on the road. Protect your heart and soul to become an elite road warrior.

This was challenging due to the darkness the road can create in the life of a road warrior. My hope is the content was both enlightening and challenging. This just may be one of those articles you remember when you’re in the midst of one of the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and you respond in a positive way in that moment.

The three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior Group come into play once again:

  • Work – we leverage business travel for these downward spiral choices
  • Health – we could compromise our own health for these downward spiral choices
  • Home Life – we could damage and devastate those we love back home with these downward spiral choices whether they ever find out or not

Action Items:

  1. Be honest with yourself and own up to your dark side
  2. Find someone to tell (close friend/counselor)
  3. Know Thyself – put boundaries in place on the road and have someone hold you accountable.

I don’t want to leave you hanging, so tune into my next podcast, where I will be interviewing with psychologist Dr. Nick Howard. Make sure you catch that episode to hear from a professional and subject matter expert on what to do if you’re heading into or already in the dark side of business travel.

You Got This!

Eight Revealing Emotions I’m Experiencing Not Traveling At All

As business travelers are grounded, literally, it’s been weeks, now months since we’ve traveled due to the current health pandemic.

The reality is only knowing business travel most of my life, I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions not traveling at all. Many of those emotions on the same day.

I don’t claim to be a highly emotional or unstable guy – I’m high energy, but not all over the place emotionally.

If anything, for most of my life I didn’t show much emotion, and the result was passive-aggressive behavior that unintentionally affected those around me. It’s been an area of growth for me to handle my emotions in a healthy, mature way.

But if I were to open up the honesty vault, during my 1st couple of weeks of being off the road when this health pandemic began, I had bi-polar contrasting opinions and emotions.

With reflection, I’ve identified

Eight revealing emotions I’m experiencing not traveling at all

 

I challenge you to consider how many of these are true of you right now.

Emotion One – Confusion

My last trip was on March 10th. I had some meetings even though a big conference I was attending was canceled last minute. Little did I know that it would be my last trip in who knows how long.

Even then I was a little skeptical and had no clue what would transpire in the world of business travel let alone the world as a whole.

The next week I was left spending hours, then days canceling everything I knew was canceled, which meant flights, hotels, car rental, meetings, etc. I was also waiting and waiting to hear if my next trip was going to be postponed or canceled, so there was a degree of shrapnel I was dealing with.

 

Emotion Two – Disappointment

Then I moved from confusion into some real disappointment.

I was really looking forward to warm places during an extended gray, unpredictable winter in Chicago.

I always make it to Arizona in March to experience Chicago Cubs and White Sox spring training. This was the 1st time in eight years this didn’t happen.

I had a couple of big events in Las Vegas.

I was going to take my family with me on their spring break to the west side of Florida to thank them since Dad was gone a lot during Q1.

I had a trip to the Bay Area for a conference and training.

I was going to Dallas for a training and was so excited to see the brand new Globe Life Park, home of the Texas Rangers. I have to update my “been to every single baseball park to date that is current” streak.

And on and on and on.

Events, people, experiences, sites – all postponed or canceled.

Disappointment was and still is real in this business traveler.

 

Emotion Three – Relief

Once the Stay at Home Act hit Illinois (thanks to Chicago), I didn’t realize how tired I was of the grind of Road Life and I seek to become and remain an elite road warrior.

We aren’t rushing our kids all around town for basketball and volleyball practice. My early morning flights out and late flights in are not an issue.

Spring is finally showing up in Chicago and my kids can get outside.

I can help my wife with spring cleaning like never before in the Buck Fam house because I’m a captive audience. We’ve purged so much, someone driving by on garbage day asked if we were evicted.

But instead of staying in “relief mode”, the next emotion started kicking in and kicking me.

 

Emotion Four – Frustration

It was kinda nice not having the rapid pace our family often finds ourselves in.

But then I had to figure out how to work-from-home with everyone home all of the time.

Now, a little background. My wife is a school teacher and all of my kids are in school except my youngest who is four.

During the school year, I have my home office and the entire house to myself which is ideal. I can work but also help out around the house by taking a break and doing some laundry. I can also prepare dinner for the fam so they can come home and eat.

Then during summer, winter, and spring breaks, the Fam is home but I also have the ability to go and work somewhere else: Starbucks, the library, and often my local string of hotel lobbies (thank you Residence Inn, Hampton Inn, Hilton Garden Inn) or they can go out for a day at the park, the zoo or the pool and I can get the house back for long stretches of time to work.

This gives me some variety and allows me to make the best of working from home.

But always having interruptions, hearing voices (which I believe was only my family), all the time is frustrating.

 

Emotion Five – Exhaustion

I thought the road had its moments of exhaustion but who would’ve ever thought there’s another smaller pandemic called Zoom Fatigue?!

I recently read an article on Fast Company addressing Zoom Fatigue. Who knew that would become “a thing” but it’s real.

I’ve hit a different level of exhaustion due to:

  • Seeming to always be on the phone.
  • Zoom meeting after meeting with no breaks in between – which the author of the article called “Zero Break Schedule” – at least on the road I had drive time.
  • One Position for One Screen – let me quote the article: “Another reason that video calls can be exceptionally tiring is that you need to physically hold yourself in one position. In an in-person meeting, you’d likely shift from side to side, tilt back in your chair, swivel from looking one way to another depending on who is speaking, and lean over to take notes. Unfortunately in a video call, you’re stuck in one place trying to stay in the center of the screen, and moving in any other direction can cause your face to become awkwardly cropped.”
  • Interruptions that are seemingly quick and not bothersome, but I have found myself constantly trying to get back my train of thought or re-engage in the meeting.
  • And most importantly, an exhausted wife who is doing online learning with her grade school class, learning new technology, home-schooling the kids, and feeling like she’s on house arrest.

 

Emotion Six – Uncertainty

It’s hard not to get sucked in by the day-by-day updates on the news, articles being written, and the onslaught of social media.

How much longer?

What’s our plan?

How will my job, business travel, the world, look like post an unprecedented health pandemic?

All real concerns and ones that if not kept in moderation and perspective can lead to a whole other string of emotions like worry, fear, paralysis. Need I go on?

I’m a person of faith and this has been a real life challenge/opportunity to not allow uncertainty to steal my peace and my trust in God.

It’s brought our family closer together and strengthened our faith.

 

Emotion Seven – Curiosity

A mentor and friend of mine, Mike Kim, has this quote when challenging times confront us and here’s the quote: “What does this make possible?” or in other words: “What does being off the road for an extended period of time make possible?”

The longer I’ve been home I’ve tried to turn the uncertainty into curiosity.

How will companies handle this time with their business travelers on the ground to improve their road life so everybody can win?

How can I use this time wisely to have something to show for it other than relief it’s over?

And this has led into the 8th and final emotion I’m experiencing not traveling at all…

 

Emotion Eight – Motivation

Maybe it’s accepting the new normal right now.

Maybe it’s the weather finally warming up.

Possibly it’s my resilience and optimism coming through.

Probably a combination of all the above, but either way, I now only want to lightly experience any other of the eight emotions and spend my emotional energy on Motivation.

This will be a six-part series on how to leverage being home with the sole purpose of getting myself ready to get back to Road Life.

Are you in?

Emotions are real whether you choose to recognize them or not. We need to work through how they’re effecting our New Normal right now.

I encourage and challenge you to notice when these emotions come up and how you handle them.