Elite Road Warrior with Bryan Paul Buckley

Become An Elite Road Warrior and Master The Business Travel Life

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The Biggest Misconception to Master the Business Travel Life

When I first started as a business traveler a long, long time ago, I took my Type A, driven personality to a whole new level.

It was unleashed on the “open road” if you know what I mean.

I dove into this new opportunity that now included traveling the country and eventually certain parts of the world.

And I loved it.

I already went 100 miles an hour at home and now I was given the freedom to do the very same things on my own on the road.

Brilliant!

And I met hundreds and hundreds of business travelers who validated my theory.

Drive.

Drive..

Drive…

Personal Drive which was inner.

Road Drive which was outer.

And I poured myself into my work.

Nobody could and would outwork yours truly on the road.

And if I found out you did, I would sleep less and try to wear you down.

I even coined a phrase I use often called the Travel Triangle:

  • Airport
  • Board Room
  • Hotel Room

Wash – Rinse – Repeat.

And between us girls, I got good and I mean really good at the Travel Triangle.

I prided myself on not being outworked and killing it on the road.

But here is the biggest misconception I thought to master the business travel life.

Are you ready for it?

It’s all about WORK.

Um, excuse me. Aren’t you there to work?

After all, it is called BUSINESS Travel.

Touche.

But not ONLY work.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not a free pass to slack off.

But let me repeat, the biggest misconception to master the business travel life is it’s not only about work.

I believed this lie for far too long.

I went from a not so suite job to c-suite.

I had the cheap rental cars and lousy hotel rooms and fast food meals to living large and driving cool cars right up to my plush hotel, eating the best of the king’s food and drinking the best of the king’s wine.

But in the end, believing this misconception, business travel is only about work, almost took two very important parts of my life.

Let me tell you how I found out first of all.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve always gone 100 miles an hour in my life and it manifested itself with business travel.

I could get more done in a day than the average guy.

More trips.

More presentations.

More meetings.

More emails.

More calls.

I was up late and up early.

This high-performance car showed no signs of any deterioration.

At least on the outside.

Nothing but praises and raises were given to this high performer.

But then when I turned 40, things internally were going wrong.

I was getting very strange symptoms:

  • Heart racing
  • Flush face
  • Eyes glazed over
  • Migraines
  • Diaherria
  • Inability to absorb content
  • Sleeping and never feeling any effects of the rest
  • I went to the doctor and they told me the good news: we can’t find anything wrong.

Then they told me the bad news: we can’t find anything wrong.

And you know what I did after that?

Absolutely nothing.

I went harder.

And harder.

For years.

Until age 45, my body shut down and shut down hard. A complete and utter engine blowout.

It was like I turn a turn marked 30 and I slowed down from 100 to 70, hit the wall and the race was over.

But wait, there’s more.

During the same time, I was always busy on the road so therefore had little to no time to check-in when friends and family back home.

My friends understood or simply moved on.

The family?

They were feeling Dad’s distance both physically and emotionally.

To be blunt…

It was not good.

My wife and I were fighting over stupid things when I left, stress while I was gone.

It was brutal and hard enough leaving then to end with a massive fight just sucked.

Then the kiddos tension…

Kids cried when I left and upset about what I missed while I was gone.

I checked in at all the wrong times and was always distracted.

I was killing it on the road and getting killed at home.

I was important on the road but invisible at home.

To be honest, I was a hot mess when I got home due to the exhaustion than just so disconnected with home trying to make up for lost time but feeling paralyzed on how to make this mess I created any better.

How’s that for a vulnerability bomb?

What resulted was the foundation of the Three Focus Areas of Elite Road Warrior:

 

Remember, the biggest misconception to master the business travel life was in the 1st focus area: WORK.

Is it important? Absolutely. In fact, it’s Energy Habit #4: PERFORM. It’s why we’re ON the road.

But it’s not everything.

If you lose your health, how much harder is work or how much does work matter?

If you struggle or lose your family, how much is work affected?

When I lost my health, everything in my life was on hold. I couldn’t work.

My life revolved around my next medical test. Forced rest. Supplements.

When I had stress back at the Buckley ranch, my mind was elsewhere on the road. I felt the tension and handled it in unhealthy ways.

Not good, road warriors.

The stark reality is the three focus areas are all inter-related.

Eventually, I learned that when I had my health in an optimal place and my relationships back home with those I loved were strong, my work on the road actually improved.

This is key.

I had more energy.

I had less stress.

I had more clarity.

I felt more supported and connected.

Let’s be brutally honest…

The inbox will always receive emails.

There will always be calls to return.

There will always be another proposal to write, presentation to give, deal to close.

But nobody can take care of your health except you.

Will the business world end if you took 20-30 minutes to go for a walk or run or workout in the hotel fitness center or hotel room?

Nope.

Hence energy habit one: MOVE.

I chose to challenge every single morning on the road.

Prioritize the 2nd Focus Area of HEALTH.

And those you love back home.

What if you took just a couple of minutes to stop being the check-in guy or girl and became a connect-in guy or girl who learned to leverage the road to grow that relationship in ways you wouldn’t at home through energy habit six: CONNECT – connect intentionally, thoughtfully, and creatively.

It’s how I created the Not Forgotten Journal you’re now hearing about.

It why I created the Flat Kiddos.

It’s why I send postcards to my older sons.

It’s why I pre-write and pre-record intentional, thoughtful words to those I love back home so they know they’re still a priority to me while I’m not physically there with them.

Here’s the point:

Your business world will change entirely if you stopped believing the biggest misconception to master the business travel life that it only has one focus area: WORK.

Take care of your health because only you can.

Take care of your family intentionally, thoughtfully, and creatively to invest into their lives.

Here’s a hard reality: 

Remember, your family has a choice of whether to connect or reconnect with you if you’ve been physically and emotionally distant.

They don’t have to come back to you so don’t put yourself in that position. Two are involved in this decision.

I’ve had too many conversations that break my heart with especially men of power after a couple of double vodka tonics who admit they’re on their 2nd or 3rd marriage and/or their kids could care less if they’re in their lives or not.

My heart breaks hearing this out of shape, lonely, broken but seemingly highly successful business traveler killing it on the road.

It doesn’t have to be this way, road warriors.

There are three focus areas to becoming and remaining an elite road warrior for a reason:

 

Let’s Land This Plane

The premise of Elite Road Warrior is energy habits. All six of the energy habits are encompassed within the three focus areas:

  1. Work – Energy habit 4: Perform / Energy Habit 5: Develop
  2. Health – Physical Energy Habits – Energy Habit 1: Move / Energy Habit 2: Fuel / Energy Habit 3: Rest
  3. HomeLife – Energy Habit 6: Connect

My hope is this is a challenge, a wake-up call to see how you’re personally doing in the three focus areas.

You may be doing great in one, but what about the other two?

Or maybe good on two but what about the other one?

Remember, you can always find another job but you can’t always get your health back or it’s a long long journey or get your family back.

My hope and prayer are you do whatever it takes to become and remain an elite road warrior and it starts by no longer believing the biggest misconception in business travel and excelling in all three focus areas of Work / Health / Home Life.

You Got This!

Six Habits to Leverage the New Year as a Road Warrior

I love fresh starts and I cannot lie.

Paul has been on the road awhile and he has the weight to prove it.

He’s not big on New Years Resolutions with his only New Years Resolution this year is to not have any resolutions!

But he would like to make some changes as a business traveler and leverage the new year as a catalyst.

Things aren’t bad per se, but they definitely could use a lot of improvement.

 

Paul is typically ahead of the pack in many ways and when he feels bad about himself, he sadly resorts to comparing himself to others which allows him to feel better about himself.

But that’s not who he is most of the time.

Paul wants to get better not just get by and make the necessary changes leveraging the road to do it this upcoming year.

He has what it takes but needs to get momentum and focus on his side.

Paul’s story is like many that come to me asking for a better way.

And it all comes down to two primary words: ROAD HABITS.

 

These road habits encompass Three Focus Areas:

 

 

Too often, we struggle or even lose our health and our home life for the sake of work. You know, that job that never turns off and always demands more and more of you especially on the road?

Paul knows he can improve his work life but also knows if he improved his health and home life, his work would immediately improve as well.

As Paul and I unpacked this conversation, we found his biggest struggle was his mindset of his road life. He viewed the road for all that he couldn’t do:

  • It’s a challenge to eat healthy on the road
  • It’s hard to sleep in a hotel
  • I don’t have time to get in a good workout or a workout at all for that matter when I travel
  • I check in with the fam back home when I can but things get busy

… and on and on and on.

If you were to join my conversation with Paul, this is what you would hear…

 

Six Habits to Leverage a New Year as a Road Warrior

The first thing I told Paul was to view the road differently. Instead of what he can’t do, look for what the road will enable you to do then leverage it.

In other words, change his mindset of the road.

For example, his family doesn’t travel with him so he has his early mornings all to himself.

Paul creates his own travel schedule and does have some flexibility in when and how he travels, when and how he works.

Then we turned the corner to how to view certain habits, energy habits, through the lenses of not only work but also health and home life, the three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior.

The first three are physical energy habits:

Habit One – MOVE

 

Most of the time, the road does the moving for us. We’re just always sitting: to the airport, at the gate, on a plane, in a car, in a meeting, at a restaurant, then laying on a bed after a long day mindlessly surfing the tv or a device.

Most road warriors could make one simple change this new year and it would be to move more on the road.

But how?

 

Move leverages the Increase M4X Formula:

  • Stand More – think up on my feet not down on my butt
  • Walk More – think forward not still
  • Run More – think cardio and getting your heart rate up
  • Lift More – think strength training by using bodyweight, dumbbells, and resistance bands

Stand More – at the gate, on the plane, in a meeting, create a stand-up desk in the lobby, etc.

Walk More – take the stairs not the elevator, walk up the escalator, choose a higher floor at your hotel and take the stairs, park further in the parking lot, take a phone call on a walk.

Run More – actually use the treadmill or elliptical in the fitness center, try burpees in your hotel room, take an outside walk and turn it into a sprint for 30 seconds.

Lift More – actually use the dumbbells in the fitness center, do pushups and leg squats, bring resistance bands with you.

Key Concept: Movement Creates Energy

Challenge – choose one of the four Increase M4X this next month to focus on and master it for all its worth.

Do you need to stand more? Walk more? Run more? Lift more?

What would be the easiest for you to implement to get some quick wins?

What would challenge and push you to start the year with the energy habit of MOVE?

Resource – podcast episode #018 – How to Workout in a Hotel Room / #028 – MOVE and Posture with Dr. Keith Giaquinto

 

Habit Two – FUEL

One of the joys of the road is the amazing food and drink always at our fingertips.

I’ve eaten meals most people would die for. I’ve had a variety of foods that make your mouth water from local specialties to international cuisine. Kansas City barbecue, Seattle fish to Paella (pie-ay-a) in Spain.

There’s the Freshman 15 then the Travel 20.

But being the recovering over-achiever I earned the Entitled 40.

Aka: Heavyweight champion of the… road.

My food choices were as follows:

The easiest choice
The quickest choice
The tastiest choice
The largest choice

As a result, the weight gain and hating how I looked in the hotel room mirror – that guy followed me all over the country and showed up in every single hotel room mirror.

Something had to change.

Fuel encompasses the MTHC Formula: (Make the Healthiest Choice)

  • Continually Hydrate – adding more water into my road day
  • Clean & Green – cleaner foods and more greens with each meal
  • Carry a Controlled Substance – having healthy snacks always available

Continually Hydrate – drinking water 1st thing in the morning, drink more water throughout the day especially on a flight, adding 1 glass of water with every alcoholic drink – I even developed and now use the Elite Road Warrior branded water bottle on the road

Clean & Green – less ingredients, less sugar, cleaner meats, more greens in your meals

Carry a Controlled Substance – having healthy snack options available to you at all times to always MTHC – I chose to bring an actual snack bag with me

Key Concept: Food is Fuel and Fuel is Energy

Challenge – choose one of the three in the MTHC Formula to focus on this new year

Do you need to add more water to your day? Could you eat more clean and green? Can you start carrying healthy snack options with you?

What would be the easiest for you to implement to get some quick wins?

What would challenge and push you to start the year with the energy habit of FUEL?

Resource – podcast episode #043 – Five Decisions You Must Make at Every Restaurant on the Road / #037 – Why You Must Carry a Lunch Box to Work on the Road

 

Habit Three – REST

If there was one habit that I neglected the most for the longest time, it was rest. Who has time to sleep on the road?

Sleep was completely optional to me.

I didn’t like it and felt it was a waste of time.

It just didn’t matter to me.

 

I was the guy who:

  • Had dinner with my laptop lover then took her up for a nightcap
  • Had every possible light and screen on
  • Went to bed way too late binge-watching and falling asleep with the TV on
  • Woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and felt like I had swallowed a dozen cotton balls
  • Woke up feeling sharp as a bowling ball
  • Never took a break and came home absolutely exhausted useless to my family and work

The Problem: I viewed rest as the enemy not as my biggest performance enhancer on the road

Rest encompasses the Strategic Resting Formula:

  • Sleep – Improve Than Increase
  • Breaks – Move the Body, Rest the Mind
  • Downtime – Time to Be, NOT to Be On

Sleep – having a bedtime ritual and a set bedtime, keeping your room cool, completely dark, using blue-blocker glasses, Bose sleep buds, Dep Sleepwear, bedtime meditations all to improve my sleep before ever even increasing my sleep

Breaks – taking micro-breaks that lasts seconds, mini-breaks that last a couple of minutes, macro breaks that take 15-30 minutes all with the goal of stretching, going for a walk, getting some water, going to the bathroom, meditating, anything to move the body and rest the mind

Downtime – finding your Road Thing that brings you energy whether going to a ballgame, being a tourist in the city, going to BN or a coffee shop just to read, etc.

Key Concept: Rest Creates Energy

Challenge – choose one of the three in the Strategic Resting Formula to focus on this new year

Do you need to have a clearer bedtime and evening routine? Do you start taking a break to move the body and rest the mind? Do you need to find your Road Thing to have some time just to be and not be on so you can ultimately be more productive?

What would be the easiest for you to implement to get some quick wins?

What would challenge and push you to start the year with the energy habit of REST?

Resource – podcast episode #035 – Why I Have a Sleep Kit and What Goes in It on the Road / #037 – Six Ways to Take an Energy-Giving Break on the Road

 

Now, we’ll focus on the three mental energy habits:

 

Habit Four – PERFORM

This is why you’re on the road – to perform. I truly believe most of us want to perform at a high level on the road.

But here’s the problem: we’re not willing to pay the price to perform at a high level.

We’re just so used to doing business as usual on the road and just getting by.

Or we compare ourselves to others and doing better than the other guy or girl but not our personal best. This was Paul’s go-to-move.

 

The key is being intentional so we can perform at an elite level.

Perform encompasses the Intentional Performance Formula:

  • Road Plan – is planning your day on paper, every part, and even finding the potential margins that may arise and what to do with them when they do appear
  • Block & Tackle – is focusing on one task for a set period of time
  • Energy Pacing – is knowing why and when your energy is low then how to pair tasks according to your energy

Road Plan – using a resource like the Full Focus Planner to think through your Big 3 of the Day, when you’ll have the gift or margins and an exact plan how to use that time

Block & Tackle – once you have a Time Block to work, spending, for example, 25 minutes to ONLY email and knowing which emails hold the most weight then attack them. Do the same concept for phone calls, CRM, proposals or quotes, etc.

Energy Pacing – actually look at your energy highs and lows through the day. When do they come? Do you need a break? Food? Movement? Change and work on a low energy task due to low energy? This change makes a huge difference for your performance on the road

Key Concept: High Performance Requires Intentionality

Challenge – choose one of the three in the Intentional Performance Formula

Do you need to create a road plan? Do you need two be more intentional with the margins that appear within your day? Do you need to focus on one task for a set period of time? Do you know to pay more attention to your energy so you can know how to pair your tasks accordingly?

What would be the easiest for you to implement to get some quick wins?

What would challenge and push you to start the year with the energy habit of PERFORM?

Resource – podcast episode #022 – How to be Productive in the Margins on the Road / #009 – One Change Every Business Traveler Must Make on the 1st Day of Every Trip

 

Habit Five – DEVELOP

If there is one habit that is often completely neglected on the road it would be professional and personal development.

How could there possibly be time to do anything but work especially time to read or learn?

But once we learn the margins of the road and become intentional about development, you’ll find more than enough time on any business trip to implement this critical energy habit to become an elite road warrior.

 

Develop encompasses the Invest in You Formula:

  • Sharpen the Mind – putting content in
  • Process the Thoughts – getting content out
  • Monitor the Heart – finding out how you’re REALLY doing

Sharpen the Mind – reading books, articles, or podcast with the intent to learn – possibly leverage the moment you find your seat on a plane until you reach 10K feet

Process the Thoughts – putting your thoughts on paper called Think Space into one central location

Monitor the Heart – taking time even 5-15 minutes to ask key questions to make sure your priorities and your heart are in the right place

Key Concept: Learning is Selfish and Something Only YOU Can Do

Challenge – Choose one of the three in the Invest in You Formula

Do you need to find a book to focus and read (like the Elite Road Warrior book for example)? Do you need to get a journal to write down your thoughts for Think Space and to Monitor the Heart?

I highly recommend the Elite Road Warrior Journal – black leather branded journal with two inserts, one to process the thoughts in the Think Space Journal side and one to monitor the heart in the Road Life Journal side. You can order the Elite Road Warrior Journal at www.EliteRoadWarrior.com .

What would be the easiest for you to implement to get some quick wins?
What would challenge and push you to start the year with the energy habit of DEVELOP?

Resource – podcast episode #041 – Eight Questions I Answer Every Morning on the Road / #040 – Why Personal Development is Important on the Road with Scott Mawdesley

 

Habit Six – CONNECT

For the longest time, my connect time with my family and friends back home was very narcissistic, meaning it revolved only around my schedule when it was best for me.

I rarely considered my family’s dinner time, homework time, sports practice, piano lessons, bedtime, just what worked for me.

I was busy os it was okay, right?

 

It consisted of only the following:

Text
Phone call
Video chat
Now, there’s nothing wrong with these three.

But it’s what I call the bare minimums to connect with those we love back home.

Nothing special and reactive.

Connect encompasses the Protect Connect Formula:

  • Connect Intentionally – on purpose
  • Connect Thoughtfully – reflective
  • Connect Creatively – memorable

Connect Intentionally – thinking outside of the reactive text, call or video chat and choosing a time and method to connect on purpose.

Connect Thoughtfully – pre-writing messages to send to people that will really mean something to them when they read the text, recording audio or video for your family to listen or watch over and over, leveraging the Not Forgotten Journal by taking two minutes to write down a memory, encouragement, challenge, speaking words of life into your significant other.

Connect Creatively – sending postcards to your kids from the city you’re in, leaving or sending Connect Cards for your kids to open, creating Flat Kiddos to take pictures of your locations such as your rental car, hotel, people you meet so your kids feel part of your trip, creating a map of the country and draw out where you’ll be on what days so your family knows where you are, having your kids do some research on your location for the trip .

Key Concept: Become a Connect-In Guy or a Connect-In Girl on the road

Challenge – Choose one of the three in the Protect Connect Formula

Do you need to become more intentional about how you connect with those you love back home? Do you need to schedule Think Space time to write meaningful words to others? How can you leverage the creative ideas suggested to begin to implement immediately?

You can order the Not Forgotten Journal, Connect Cards, and Flat Kiddos at www.EliteRoadWarrior.com

What would be the easiest for you to implement to get some quick wins?
What would challenge and push you to start the year with the energy habit of CONNECT?

Resource – podcast episode #029 – How I Shocked My Wife with the Not Forgotten Journal / #013 – Three Mindset Shifts to Stay Connected With Those Back Home

 

Let’s Land This Plane

Back to Paul’s story at the beginning of the episode… He wants to leverage the new year to make some changes not only in his work but also his health, and his home life.

These six energy habits are the basis of the Elite Road Warrior book and philosophy to master the business travel life.

I challenge, double-dog road warrior style dare you to choose one of the six habits and leverage the energy habit for all its worth to become an elite road warrior.

If you’re interested in listening to this article, check out Episode 051 of the Elite Road Warrior Podcast.

Top Five Excuses I Heard From Business Travelers This Past Year

 

I had this coming and more.

People talk to me for two crazy reasons:

  • I ask questions
  • I listen to their response

My Dad used to say all the time:

Son, ask people questions and they’ll talk to you for hours. Talk about yourself and they’ll listen to you for seconds at the most.

And oh how business travelers can talk.

Talk when they’re bored and want to engage with someone who gets them.

Talk when they’re asked a question by someone who seems to listen.

But what they don’t know is WHY I ask many of my questions on the road.

One word: RESEARCH

I want to hear from every single business traveler I can to hear how they feel about Road Life.

Unfiltered.

This past year I wanted to hear what were the barriers to becoming an elite road warrior.

And did I get an earful and my research-validated?

Here are the Top Five Excuses I Heard From Business Travelers This Past Year

Excuse 1 – It’s Hard to Eat Healthy on the Road

Translation: I’m not taking any responsibility for the non-forced food I put in my mouth.

I love this one. I’ve had SO many meals with road warriors who give me this excuse.

But then I watch their food choices meal after meal, restaurant after restaurant, bad choice after bad choice.

It starts with the appetizer then the main course with all the trimmings.

There’s the Freshman 15.
Then the Travel 20.
And if you’re an overachiever like me, you earn the Entitled 40.

How? Saying “It’s hard to eat healthy on the road.”

The reality is many of us have two advantages:

  • We’re not paying for the meal
  • We can choose the restaurant most of the time

These two realities can allow us to eat in healthier places and give you healthier options.

The truth is food is fuel and fuel is energy.

And I want energy to be at my best on the road.

Energy Habit Focus: FUEL

Resource: Five Decisions You Must Make at Every Restaurant on the Road

 

Excuse 2 – I Can’t Get in a Good Workout So What’s the Point

Translation: I’m not as busy as I think and could make time for a short, effective workout.

So many choices:

  • Morning or Late Afternoon?
  • Treadmill or Elliptical?
  • Outside Walk or Run?
  • Dumbbells or Resistance Bands?

The answer? YES!

And I’ve found when I take even just 20 minutes, I often have a better workout because I’m time-sensitive and really get after it.

Whether I’m in the hotel fitness center or stay in my hotel room, taking just a few minutes does so much for me especially when I make it happen before the business travel day begins.

Remember, something, anything, just not nothing when it comes to exercise on the road.

Movement Creates Energy.

Energy Habit Focus: MOVE

Resource: How to Workout in a Hotel Room – Podcast Interview with Jeff McMahon

 

Excuse 3 – I Don’t Have Time to Read When Traveling

Translation: I’m not looking at all the marginal time that affords me reading time on the road.

This was me until I really started looking at my business travel days for margin.

Consider these times to get your “read on”:

  • Drive to the airport to listen to an audiobook or a podcast
  • On the long-term parking bus and going through security
  • After you board the plane and until you hear “we’ve reached 10,000 feet blah blah blah”
  • On the flight descent when you’re told to put your tray table up and prepare for landing
  • In your rental car or RideShare
  • 1st hour of your morning when you’re in your hotel

Just sayin, there is more than enough time to get your “read on” while traveling for business.

Energy Habit Focus: DEVELOP

Resource: Five Reasons Personal Development is a Challenge on the Road

 

Excuse 4 – I Just Can’t Get a Good Night Sleep on the Road

Translation: I’m really good at hijacking my sleep when I travel.

I sucked at sleep on the road for a long, long time and here’s how:

  • I was on a screen (sometimes many) way too late
  • I would fall asleep with the TV on
  • I drank too much which my bladder and cottonmouth woke me up in the middle of the night
  • My brain was too active and I would just endlessly lay in my bed
  • My room was too warm and not dark enough

But once I realized that I first and foremost needed to IMPROVE my sleep before I needed to INCREASE my sleep.

Game changer, road warriors!

Now, I’m highly focused on having the best quality of sleep first then focus on the quantity no matter what.

Energy Habit Focus: REST

Resource: Why You Need a Sleep Kit on the Road and What Should Go In It

 

Excuse 5 – My Family is Just Fine with My Level of Check-In While Traveling 

Translation: I’ve never done it any other way to see if it made a difference.

The road is challenging to stay connected with those back home and it may go something like this:

  • I’ll call when I can
  • I’ll send a check-in text here and there
  • I’ll video chat but yet still be checking email and not really paying attention

I know because that was me for way too long and still the case for most business travelers.

This is what I call a “Check-in Guy or Check-in Girl”. We do the bare minimum and it’s usually only when it’s convenient for us.

But what if we leveraged the road to stay connected with the family in thoughtful and creative ways that actually strengthen our relationships?

There are many creative ideas from Connect Cards to Flat Kiddos to the Not Forgotten Journal that can change the depth of your relationships back home in amazing ways and so worth this small investment of time.

Energy Habit Focus: CONNECT

Resource: Three Mindset Shifts to Stay Connected With Those Back Home 

 

Let’s Land This Plane

In my book, Elite Road Warrior: Six Energy Habits to Master the Business Travel Life, I had a theme quote:

If you want to do something, you’ll find a way.
If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. – Jim Rohn

And business travelers are king of excuses hence this article!

Excuses are opportunities that can be easily turned around.

What excuses are you using right now that you can leverage the road to turn around to help you become an elite road warrior?

I challenge you to check out the five resource links offered in this article. Take action and find a way, not an excuse.

Eight Questions I Ask Every Morning on the Road

If you’re interested in the audio version of this article in these locations:

 

Do you know what most business travelers do one thing when they wake up in the morning on the road in their hotel room?

The first guess would be to hit snooze on the alarm and many do.

But Elite Road Warrior Group Research has shown that most business travelers…

Reach for their phone.

Why? Well, there’s a handful of reasons but no matter the reason and what they do, there is always one thing in common:

It hijacks their morning.

Why? Because it’s a time sucker especially if we jump into the news or social media.

It’s also filled with OPAs – other people’s agenda.

  • What they want or need from you
  • What they want to tell you
  • What they want you to buy

Many lose easily a half hour or more and haven’t even climbed out of bed yet!

No condemnation here, Road Warrior.

I believed and justified in my head that if I could “just get ahead” looking at my email, calendar, Slack or WeChat, etc. it would help me.

Lies nothing but lies!

I used to be so unintentional and reactive to whatever caught my attention or the path of least resistance in the morning on the road.

And I was the advocate for how impossible it was to do anything but work on the road and especially no time for professional or personal development.

So I get it.

But here’s what I missed…

  • I missed the gift of the morning.
  • I missed the silence.
  • I missed the solitude.
  • I missed the chance to invest in me, the one thing nobody else can do for me.

And nobody else will guard unless I seize it. The morning is the perfect place for it especially if I’ve had a good night of rest.

Let me state upfront. Right now, my 1st hour in the morning on the road is filled only with energy habits.

The two largest of my morning energy habits are:

  • MOVE – Increase M4X – Stand more / Walk more / Run more / Lift more
  • DEVELOP – Sharpen the Mind / Process the Thoughts / Monitor the Heart

And my motto, my theme is two phrases used often with Road Warrior Nation:

Consistency Over Length
Something, Anything, is Better Than Nothing

There are two things I do immediately after single morning on the road:

  1. Hydrate – (Fuel – Continually Hydrate) with 16 oz water, lemon, sea salt, and greens powder
  2. Read –  (Sharpen the Mind and Process the Thoughts) – my Bible  then something inspirational (if it’s the day of a flight, I save this reading for the 1st 20-30 minutes of the flight)

Once those two habits are done of hydrate and read, I move on to my Elite Road Warrior Journal. It has two portions:

Think Space (Process the Thoughts) dotted page Notebook
Eight Questions Journal (Monitory the Heart) blank page Notebook

Here are some initial questions asked of my personal process:

Q1 – How long do you take to journal your questions?

5-15 minutes

 

Q2 – Where do you journal?

Most of the time in my hotel room at the desk but sometimes if my hotel is near a park, forest, water, etc. I’ll choose there.

One time I climbed Mount Spokane and journaled there – talk about silence/solitude/ and inspiring!

Q3 –  What do you write with?

I’m pretty anal and OCD and have four fine tip Zebra multi-colored pens I use that I keep in a leather pouch I found off Amazon.

For the record, there will be a branded leather case for the pens and the pens included in the very near future. Just go to EliteRoadWarrior.com for details.

I use different colors for different reasons when I write for both my Monitor the Heart journal and Think Space journal.

 

Q4 – What do you write in?

The ERW (Elite Road Warrior) Branded Journal

 

Q5 – What does your layout look like?

Top Left – location (for example: Outer Banks, NC)

Top Right – date (for example: W.10.16.19)

I use two pages of my journal so there’s a lot of free space. Here’s an example:

 

 

Before we get into the Eight Questions I Answer Every Morning on the Road, let’s talk about WHY I do it.

The road has the ability to suck out any empathy, compassion, generosity, etc within a person and especially men.

I found that too often I was coming home jaded and it was affecting my wife and kids.

I was bringing home the stress of the road from the long hours to the draining people I encountered or dealt with and my family and friends didn’t really care for “that Bry or that guy” if you will.

I didn’t grow up journaling. I didn’t have examples of people around me who journaled. Notetakers yes but not journalers and there’s a difference.

I viewed journaling as a girl thing in a diary therefore not for me.

And when I eventually tried it after prompting from a mentor, I sucked at it.

I was SO inconsistent. Huge entry one day then days and weeks would pass with radio silence and major gaps.

Then my perfectionism would come out and I had to journal and do it “just right.”

Way…Too…Much…Pressure.

And I quit.

A few years ago Scott Mawdesley, Elite Road Warrior subject matter expert for Develop energy habit, really challenged me its’ more important THAT I write, not what I write and I should try just journaling “just one line” per entry.

I could write more but Write One Line became my mantra.

And you know what? It worked.

Then another mentor of mine, Jonathan Milligan, encouraged me with key questions he asked himself every morning to give structure to his journaling and encouraged me to do the same – hence the Eight Questions I Answer Every Morning on the Road.

But WHY do I journal these questions and what comes as a result?

  • Clarity – What do I want out of my life
  • Themes – What’s happening on a consistent basis in my life – what are the patterns I wouldn’t normally see without reflecting
  • Focus – where should I spend my time

MONITOR the HEART, the 3rd part of the Invest in You Formula of the Develop Energy Habit has three Checks of the Heart Engine: (think of check lights coming on your dash about your engine).

One – PULSE CHECK
Learning to ask: “How am I REALLY doing?”

We ask people all the time, “How are you doing?” We don’t really care or even want them to give an answer beyond fine or great. My father used to have a drop-dead line when someone asked that question. Here’s how it went:

Acquaintance: “How are you doing?”
My father: “Depends”
Acquaintance: (Confused and stops in their tracks.) “Depends on what?”
My father: “How much time you have. If you only have a second, I’m fine. If you have a minute or two, I’ll actually tell you how I’m doing.”

That interaction was always awkward to me as a kid, but wow, do I understand it now. On the road, we would change the word “fine” to “busy” then compete with each other on who is busier (aka who’s more important!).

Two – GRATITUDE CHECK
Learning to ask: “Who or what am I grateful for right now?”

We want to be grateful people.

We may even say we’re grateful people but here’s the proof – every single day.

Three – SOUL CHECK
Learning to ask: “What do I need to get out that I’m keeping in?

This is beyond touchy-feely feelings but making sure we get to the heart of you as an elite road warrior.

 

I have three simple categories for my questions:

Review Yesterday – 3 questions

Reflect Now – 2 questions

Rehearse Today – 3 questions

REVIEW YESTERDAY

Question 1 – What Happened Yesterday?

I want to be able to track my time so I know what my day looked like.

NEEDED DISCLAIMER – These are bullet points, not sentences or paragraphs.

I want to be able to remember that specific day at a glance just looking at What happened yesterday listings.

I want to know:

  • Was I productive?
  • Were there the margins in my day and where?
  • Did the six energy habits exist?

This is GREAT intel at the end of my month and the end of my quarter when I review my journal to see how I spent my time.

 

Question 2 – What Were My Biggest Wins?

These are the answers to what I actually accomplished.

Some days my response is “busy but not productive” – I detest these days on the road.

Notice it’s my BIGGEST wins, not any wins. I want to see forward motion on my goals for the week and the day to day big wins give me that intel.

 

Question 3 – What Were My Lessons Learned?

This may come from what I read or listened to yesterday or this morning.

It may be from my big wins or lack thereof.

It’s how I’m doing and what I’m learning in regards to the three focus areas of ERW: Work / Health / Home Life.

This is feedback on if and how I’m growing on a DAILY basis – is there a theme?

This 3rd question challenges me and sometimes it takes me a minute or two to think of something if the answer is not top of mind.

Note: sometimes I may need to move on to another question and come back to it but I always want to answer this key question.

Three Review Yesterday Questions – which, by the way, I write in red in my ERW Journal with the answers in blue.

Two Reflect Now Questions… which I write in black in my journal with the answers in blue.

 

REFLECT NOW

Question 4 – Who / What Am I Thankful For RIGHT NOW?

This is the GRATITUDE CHECK
Learn to ask: “Who or what am I grateful for right now?”

I have to be honest, some days it’s easy to mail it in and put something generic but that’s not the goal.

It’s The Who and/or the What but also the WHY – why am I thankful for that person or situation?

I’ve learned through the years people I’m grateful for actually don’t know I’m grateful for them UNLESS I TELL THEM!

This is a GREAT chance to prompt you to take action RIGHT THEN to let them know – send them a text/email/voicemail.

Sometimes I actually take a picture of that answer in my journal and send it to them.

You’d be shocked how just this little gesture means to people especially people who you care about and are thankful for.

If I’m struggling to answer this question on a consistent basis, this is a heart issue on my part that needs attention.

 

Question Five – How Am I Feeling Right Now?

This is the PULSE CHECK
Learn to ask: “How am I REALLY doing?”

I know what you guys are thinking: here’s the diary “touchy/feely” part of the program. And you’re right – suck it up and try it. I’m not asking for you to write paragraphs and have a Kleenex available.

Mine are short bullets. For example:

  • Exhausted from…
  • Better rested because…
  • Proud of…
  • Disappointed in…
  • Frustrated by…
  • Missing home right now…
  • Motivated to…

Nothing earth-shattering but I want a pulse on how I’m really doing.

Am I seeing patterns of day-after-day-after-day of being frustrated or tired?

This question is not nearly as hard as you think especially if you do it bullet style and lead with a key emotion word: proud, disappointed, tired, motivated, etc.

Three Rehearse Today Questions: which I put in green and answer in blue.

Why rehearse the day?

It’s like an athlete or a performer playing their game or performance in their mind.

Too often we just let the Road Day happen to us.

We’re not intentional then we wonder why our road day gets hijacked and we’re ALWAYS up until midnight working.

We want to be elite as a road warrior, it takes these type of moments and first thing in the morning to lock in how you want your day to go.

 

REHEARSE TODAY

Question Six – What Are My Big 3 Today?

This is a concept from Michael Hyatt in his Full Focus Planner.

The Daily Big 3 are designed to come from the Weekly Big 3 which comes from your Quarterly Big 3.

I set quarterly goals in business but also in life so my weekly Big 3 and should influence your daily big 3.

If I have a heavy travel day, these are key.

What do I want to get done on my 4-hour flight?

If I have a heavy meeting or event day, maybe my Big 3 needs to happen 1st thing in the morning.

Pro Tip: almost every single business travel day one of my Big 3 is energy habit six: CONNECT – I want to make my family a high priority within my day which means I need to schedule it.

The first of the three target elements of the Protect Connect Formula in energy habit #6 is Connect Intentionally and by scheduling it as one of my big 3 it will get done.

When I schedule my Big 3 in my Elite Road Warrior Journal, I then enter it into my Full Focus Planner.

 

Question Seven – What is Today’s Highlight?

I learned this one from the book, Make Time.

The authors have three ways to determine your today’s highlight:

  1. Something URGENT that must get done today and will be a huge relief if and when it is done
  2. Something SATISFYING that will make you feel pleased and proud it’s completed
  3. Something that brings you JOY – what you look forward to = mine is usually my downtime activity

The point here is you have a focus point or a “highlight” on this specific day that is important to you and you look forward to, relieved, or proud when it happens or completed.

 

Question Eight – What Would Make Today Great?

I credit this question to Jonathan Milligan, my mentor and friend, who challenged me to answer this question each day.

And it was a challenge but now I depend on this last question.

Alan Stein, Jr. in his book, Raise Your Game, states there are only two things in life you have control over:

  • Your attitude
  • Your effort

And oftentimes my response is one of those and often deals with the six energy habits.

I want and I need to make each day on the road GREAT.

I want to be at my best and no longer just get by but leverage each day on the road to get better.

 

Another Option…

To be honest, some days I just don’t feel like answering all the questions or what I’m going through or feeling doesn’t fit one of the eight questions or just needs to be worked through on paper. What do I do?

Headline Option.

  • Hate Being Gone Today
  • This Just Keeps Happening
  • Didn’t See THAT Coming
  • Wow, I Regret THIS

This style allows me to still express what I’m thinking/feeling and have the freedom to go “off-road” on some or all the questions depending on what’s going on in my life. I find I use this approach the most on the weekends or when I’m just working through or struggling with something.

 

Let’s Land This Plane

Two Practical Actions:

One – Just start – write one line for each question.

Maybe you have your own questions and some ERWs have contacted me with the questions they’ve developed. But they often start with mine. Either way is fine.

And mine started with Jonathan Milligan’s questions. Start with my questions or a form of them to kickstart you in this Develop energy habit.

Two – Order the Elite Road Warrior Branded Journal – enjoy what you journal in. For me, I love the leather – the look and the feel. I love the paper in the journal. I love the pens I write with and the leather case they’re kept in. This makes a HUGE difference when it comes time to write. I’m also proud to carry it around and it promotes Elite Road Warrior. Order HERE.

If you’re interested in the audio version of this article in these locations:

Do You Know My Personal Backstory and Crash…?

I’m a road warrior. My father was a road warrior. I’ve done travel horribly at times. I’ve killed it (and me) on the road, and I have the story to prove it.

 

THE BACK STORY

As a kid growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, lots of my friends thought I was lucky to be a Buckley. On the outside, it looked pretty good – my dad was a prominent figure in the community as well as an avid business traveler, and our family was well known as “hard workers,” a value my dad had pounded into me since I was old enough to do my first chores.

This hard work had its payoffs – I learned the art of public speaking at a very early age and I could play the piano well enough to perform in front of hundreds and even thousands of people. What people didn’t know was the huge weight this (being a Buckley) was to carry everywhere I went. It was a perk that came with a ton of responsibility.

Until I left for college, this was normal life for me – I knew much of our position was due to the fact we were hard workers, and we were willing to make the sacrifices in order to achieve – consistently.

But in early August 1988, everything changed when my parents dropped me off in Lynchburg, Virginia, at Liberty University. The name of the university was fitting because absolutely no one knew who I was or what it meant to be a “Buckley,” which was challenging and liberating at the same time.

This was a defining moment: for the first time in my life, I was free to choose my path. That sense of freedom ignited a drive in me to achieve my own results on my own terms, and this helped to shape the rest of my life.

The two most important lessons I learned in college were to build relationships to connect with people and to work not just hard, but smart. I watched, asked questions, and learned how to navigate from high achievers and top performers. This paid off – I was elected junior class president and student body vice president my senior year.

DRIVING HARD

This success carried on through my 20s and 30s. I was learning how to maximize my time and outperform most people. My friends saw me as someone who viewed sleep as optional and a necessary evil. I worked out but also ate whatever I wanted. I ate fast, walked fast, talked fast, and even drove fast. Just get it done at all costs was my life theme.

I started traveling at this early time in my life. I would travel for research. I would travel to speak all over the country. I didn’t have a care in the world, as most in their 20s have a feeling of invincibility. The late nights, bad food, and lack of proper rest were difficult for “everyone else” who didn’t have my drive and energy level.

When I worked from my personal strengths, I felt the only thing that could stop me was not having enough time. I pushed so hard. My desire to show others I could make it on my own led me to take on almost any and every challenge that came my way, which soon would prove to have disastrous effects on my life.

SOMETHING IS WRONG

Decades later, my lifestyle was that of a professional business traveler. I was eating the best of the king’s food and drinking the best of the king’s wine, but in February of 2011, my body started kicking back with some unusual symptoms.

On my 40th birthday, my wife gave me the gift of a one-way ticket to the doctor for a full panel of tests. (She’s generous like that.)

Not knowing what to do with me, they ran extensive tests. The good news was they couldn’t find anything wrong. The bad news was they couldn’t find anything wrong.

But I knew in my heart that something was definitely wrong … and then I willingly chose to ignore that feeling. I had too much to do and not enough time to do it in, so I went back to business (travel, that is) as usual. I hit the road harder, and my early inner warning signal was quickly ignored. I showed them. Like so many other business travelers, I lived by this quote:

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING, YOU’LL FIND A WAY. IF YOU DON’T, YOU’LL FIND AN EXCUSE. -JIM ROHN

If you’re like me and willing to justify avoiding something you really don’t want to do, then you’ll understand what I did next. The truth was I didn’t want to stop and rest. My identity was in my drive and in producing results. If I stopped, I thought I would lose ground and ultimately lose.

I hate losing.

I pushed even harder, traveling an insane number of miles for business. I increased my pace and responsibility. I lived in the moment and was willing to sacrifice everything—including my health and family.

THE COST OF THE RESULTS

Then it happened.

I hit the wall, and this time it hit back, and I didn’t get up quickly. In March of 2015, my business travel life finally began to catch up with me. All my Energizer Bunny energy was gone.

Everything that came naturally to me began to take more energy, and I began to crash— and crash hard. It didn’t happen all of a sudden, but my pace (which was one of my marks of success) and my stress levels were ultimately the cause of my demise.

I found myself unable to get up in the morning like I always had; the hours before everyone arose were “my time,” and I had never missed using them. I started sleeping as much as I could on the road. My breathing was off. My face was constantly flushed. I would get body aches that felt like the flu … without the flu. Headaches led to migraines. My mind would shut down to the point I couldn’t concentrate or even read. It was brutal on my pride and on me.

And I wasn’t the only one affected.

My wife got more than her fill of this madness. She already felt like a single mother when I was away, and now I was completely useless to her when I was home—I was one more person she had to take care of. C’mon, Buckley.

Those were dark days in our home filled with confusion, resentment, and hopelessness. The hard-driving me was becoming a thing of the past. But how? I was only 45 years old! Although I still felt like I was getting more done than most people, it was not at my pace or at my energy level.

I went back to the doctor, this time with a completely different attitude: one of humility and openness. Over the next few weeks, I underwent extensive medical tests that were exhausting, stressful, and expensive. But I needed to know and understand what was going on in my body.

This time, the doctors knew something was wrong, but they just weren’t sure what to do next. I was encouraged to learn that nothing major was wrong since my family tree included a legacy of heart disease and cancer. I was relieved, yet still tired most of the time and unable to run races, work out, and push it like I always had any time I’d wanted to in the past.

I was officially concerned and worried. I knew I had so much more in me … but not the energy to produce the results I wanted, and especially not in the acceptable (to me) turnaround time I was used to.

I’d hit a wall and needed a new fuel. I’d been using cheap gas and not doing the maintenance needed on a high-performance car. I was treating my Ferrari like a cheap, beat-up old Camry work car. Repair work had consisted of “do the minimum and get me back on the road.” I needed to quickly learn how to maintain this gift of a car for the long haul.

Years and then decades of doing it “my way” had wrecked my body. Pushing this hard without really taking care of my body had finally caught up to me. The cost of getting the results “my way” was forcing me to pay a price I didn’t want to pay … and oh, I would pay for a long time.

Everything was going to have to change. I needed to do things differently. My health and family literally depended on it.

THE DIAGNOSIS

Over the next few months, I was diagnosed with HPA Axis Dysfunction. Translation: I was running my body into the ground. My stress and pace had damaged my nervous and endocrine systems, which produced my energy. Something had to change, or it would literally shut down my body.

To be honest, this really scared me. I was the sole financial provider for my family. I was literally forced to change. I also didn’t have all the answers, but I knew it would not be a quick fix (if fixable at all). This was not the place I wanted to be in, but my focus was now on getting myself healthy.

Everyone who knew me or met me was completely shocked that I had “energy issues” because I was still so active and intense. But now, my energy was a commodity that needed to be spent on the things that really matter.

I actually view this diagnosis as a rare gift. It forced me to get focused on how to manage and increase my energy so I could maximize my results both on the road and at home.

UNDER THE HOOD

Once I was grounded (literally), I was forced to begin asking deeper questions, the answers to which were very revealing to me. Those close to me were ready to confront me in a loving way to lead me to the truth about myself.

There was this underlying stress to always perform, to always be at my best, and to “be on.” There were all these expectations that I ultimately realized were self-imposed. Others saw my results or my on-stage persona, not the off-stage toll it was taking on me.

Why did I feel the need to push all the time? What had once been my secret sauce had become my poison.

I asked myself, “What do I actually do when I rest? I’m always doing something. I don’t know how to be still or just be with others. This is not right.” I felt lonely, empty, drained, discouraged, confused, paralyzed, and humbled. And I wasn’t even in touch with my feelings!

I didn’t hear of high performers on the road getting sleep, taking breaks, and having downtime. I didn’t know how to refuel myself with all I was asking and taking from myself. I deeply lacked true rest, the very thing that would heal my body, mind, and soul.

Finally, I began to really look at myself as I was, not as I thought I had to be. Yes, there were expectations, but who had set them? I realized I had let others set my expectations for myself, and it was exhausting.

RESTED, REFUELED, AND RE-ENGAGED ON THE ROAD

Slowly, every part of me was beginning to heal. I was on a strict rest and supplement protocol that was brutal yet necessary. Through non-traditional medicine and a holistic practitioner named Treva Thompson of Living Tree Health and Wellness, I began to see hope, and my body literally regained life and energy.

Ironically, my character was deepened along with my faith during this journey, which is still ongoing, and the key has been self-awareness. I’ve learned to really listen to my body. What does it need right now? For a driven, high performer, this is a DRASTIC change of operation for me. But it’s necessary and it has literally saved and changed my life.

There are many of you road warriors out there who are like me. Some part of my story is your story. You’re somewhere along my journey. My hope is you find enlightenment, encouragement, and hope in knowing there is someone else out there like you.

I get you. I am you, road warrior.

I’m back on the road and now live a completely different road lifestyle. I no longer view a trip as a vacation but as my vocation. I’m the “one of these guys is not like the other” when traveling. And I love it. There are enough of those guys out there and I’m on a mission to challenge and inspire more to stop going off-road on the road.

As a result, the Six Energy Habits of The Elite Road Warrior came to life literally to save my road life and put me back at my best in a way that is sustainable and life-giving not draining.

I’ve learned the hard way how to leverage the road to transform my work, my health, and my home life while on business travel.

I’m thankful I did not completely lose my health and my family driving so hard for so long on the road and was allowed to not only recover but also help other road warriors along the way.

Disclaimer: This content is directly taken from the book, Elite Road Warrior: Six Energy Habits to Master the Business Travel Life. Used by permission.