Bryan Paul Buckley 0:00 Episode 82 of the Elite Road Warrior Podcast. Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work, health, and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business travel life. If you’re a road warrior, and a great chance you’re on the road right now then this podcast is for you.
Bryan Paul Buckley 0:31 Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior Podcast. I’m your host Brian Paul Buckley, fellow Road Warrior husband, one father of five. And then I really enjoy meeting certain people that I click with then I’m like man, they would make a great interview on the Elite Road Warrior Podcast and I’ve got one of those for you today. And as always, I would love for you to join my road trip in my master evil plans becoming and remaining an elite Road Warrior. But when I met our guest, as I mentioned, I just clicked with his energy, his passion, his desire to improve his life and the life of others. So I’m really honored to interview him today. And I think you’re really gonna enjoy the conversation. He is a quote like one-liner bomb King. So there were just so many that I was just like, oh, say that again. Say that again. And we’ll make sure those are in the show notes as well.
Bryan Paul Buckley 1:19 So, let’s meet our guest today. Nick Davies is a business and career coach with 20 years of background in financial services. He’s originally from London, England. And Nick has also worked in the Philippines, Florida, New York, and now calls Charlotte, North Carolina, his home and you’re gonna love his North Carolinian, British accent. Well, over the past four years, Nick has shifted big time is focusing on creating his purpose and now allows people in businesses through coaching. He’s trained through Tony Robbins coaching which is absolutely amazing and is also a certified health coach. And in just a moment, we’re gonna be working through these following questions with Nick. How is your perspective enhanced by traveling as a business traveler, why is it so important to understand our own behaviors? And why we do the things that we do when we’re on the road? How much of a difference do our habits and our road routines, these patterns these road life road routines make on the road? How can we create more focus while we’re traveling on business? How do we leverage the power of connecting with other people as a business traveler? And we went deep on that question, and as a coach, what difference does he see with those who prioritize personal development and maybe those that don’t, and there’s always so much more. It’s go time!
Bryan Paul Buckley 3:02 Well, I’m live right now with the Nick Davies. How are you and where are you, man?
Nick Davies 3:08 I am outstanding, middle of the week ready to go cranking it out. Coming to you, Charlotte, North Carolina, a beautiful Sunday morning
Bryan Paul Buckley 3:17 And I can tell right now for those listeners who are on the go that your North Carolinian accent is just a little bit behind right now with theirs so how long you been there and man Why aren’t you in North Carolina
Nick Davies 3:31 Isn’t it authentic? Come on. Come on.
Bryan Paul Buckley 3:35 Come on. We’re gonna start the interview that way.
Nick Davies 3:37 I’ve been here for three whole years Come on, can I not belong here?
Bryan Paul Buckley 3:40 In a row. Well, I mean, I still pick up that I still think that the Texas accent and the New York accent I mean, those are coming through pretty strong.
Nick Davies 3:48 yeah, I mean, it’s all about traveling. I believe in that a lot. And it’s part of why we’re here today of course but yeah, I’m originally from London, England and lived in the states for seven years. North Carolina is absolutely where I call home now. My wife and my daughter and this is where we’re putting down some roots and it’s a beautiful place beautiful state. And I love it.
Bryan Paul Buckley 4:06 And a heck of a swim to get back to the Motherland, isn’t it? A good thing since you’re in shape? Well, hey, you know, I joked around I used to say it worked for an Australian based companies you could tell me my Chicago Australian accent you know, and I had to hit that the Chicago part hard otherwise that Aussie would come out and you know, you know, as those Aussies are, so anyway, so you’re a business and career coach how what’s that look like on a daily basis?
Nick Davies 4:35 That looks like me living my best life. Really, Brian. I know that sounds corny and kind of cliche to say but you know that this is why I do this. It’s, it’s a second career for me and it’s a really purposeful and intentional about what do I want to have in my life and that looks like for me, set my day up in the morning making sure that I start my day, but the things that into my mind I need to be doing, put the things into my body that I need to be having to be able to come and crank it to the highest level peak performance sharp for my clients in the best possible way, shot for people that I’m working with working around. So colleagues of mine people that I’m looking to do business with, so prospects to serving people at the highest level and doing things like this and, and having conversations with people like you that really fill me up, and I think it’s pretty important. So that’s why it looks like for me, it’s a balance of all of those things.
Bryan Paul Buckley 5:23 Well, and it’s obvious you do well what you do, because of our first five minutes of the phone call, just kind of get to know each other a little bit. We’re like, man, we’re on literally the same page, same paragraph, same sentence, and, and that’s great. And so we’re gonna pack quite a bit of that within this interview. So, Nick, how is your perspective enhanced by traveling? I mean, obviously, you’ve been a world traveler, and you know, being a coach, but then also traveling yourself. What does that mean to have your perspective enhanced on the road?
Nick Davies 5:53 If I boil it down, Bryan, I think the biggest indicator of change is environment. And what’s the most impactful way that you can change your environment is to change your physical environment. And there’s a lot of things that we can do to, to move around the environment that we’re in. But the quickest way, impactful way of doing that is just, is just change it and change it from a different, different location, different state, but more importantly, different country, different people around you. And you’re forced to be in that experience. Now, if you want to go and learn a language you want to learn Italian, what do you do? What’s the best way? To go to Italy – you learn that language, submerge yourself. I think that’s true across everything. So I think it’s so important to get those different perspectives, those different areas and just have a view of what other people do. It’s so easy to be able to just to see how this is the way that life is, the way things are. If you’re always been in the same place, nothing wrong with that, by the way, but the easiest way to change your perspective and to grow and see different things is to just be in an environment that you’re not used to and you can’t help us see things.
Bryan Paul Buckley 6:56 So let’s drill down there for just a second because obviously by the road, we are forced to that unless you are it consultants, but even then, I mean, I’ve traveled consultants, I deal with consultants and they may be in one spot for three months. So that’s the same for three months. But eventually, they’re moving to another city. And so they’re always meeting new people, people. So we actually had the ability of enhancing that perspective, if we allow it to correct. So how do we allow that? I mean, what, what does that mean? So all of a sudden, I’m not doing it, but now I want to do that. What does that look like?
Nick Davies 7:26 Yeah, yeah, change is automatic growth is not. It’s a choice.
Bryan Paul Buckley 7:31 Say that again, say that again
Nick Davies 7:33 Change is automatic, growth is not. That intention is the difference, that choice because you can go get dragged kicking and screaming to something that changes in your life. You have to want to take that opportunity and make that something that by to be more of that, you know, it’s I think that that’s the biggest thing is making that decision and say, Okay, what, what’s new in my environment, and what can I take from this. And get curious, have some fun! What can I take from here? What’s different here? Wow, what can I learn?
Bryan Paul Buckley 8:05 That’s great awareness.
Nick Davies 8:07 Yeah. Awareness. I mean that that word will come back to so often that and intention is so true, but just bringing out every part, I think it’s so important.
Bryan Paul Buckley 8:14 Well, I think intention kind of leads into that next question. So why is it so important to understand our own behavior and why we do the things that we do in business travel? I know that’s a big area in your practice with people as far as to understand the behavior and the reasons they do what they do, but how in the context of business travel how does that relate?
Nick Davies 8:33 Yeah, it relates massively because we do things based on patterns. And so if your role your business, your job, evolved into business travel, maybe there was like one bit of travel you did every year then that was then it started to be two a year, three a year and it was every month and it was every week. You probably didn’t take the time just start and go, Okay, how do I want to do this thing? How do I want to lay this out to be most successful, delivering for my clients, so different from me, and having the best possible experience probably didn’t happen. And so there’s a great time to just hit the reset button if you like and say, Okay, well, where I am on where am I now? What do I, what do I like about what am I doing in the patterns that I’ve, I’ve ingrained because we all build these patterns. It’s part of who we are. And it’s really important, really powerful. Because if we didn’t build patterns, make things automatic. I’m gonna have to relearn everything all the time. And but we need to be clear about what the patterns are, which patterns do we want to build? And so I think it’s a great, always a great time, especially now, maybe that travel wasn’t quite as much. And we’re still moving around. We’re still doing travel in different ways. But just to think about like, what do I want to get out? What type of person do I want to be here? How can I take this free this thing to the next level? What is it about my patterns that I’m doing? What do I like when I’m just doing inventory? And just be honest with yourself.
Bryan Paul Buckley 9:56 And it’s hard to your points when you’re just going, going if all of a sudden you go from, you know that one tradeshow a year to traveling a few times a year. It’s all of a sudden, you’re the busy traveler or guy just interviewed recently, Justin Pugh in Episode 78, where he went from a sedentary lifestyle, eight to five every single day to all of a sudden he’s traveling every single week for six months. You know, we talk about hitting the gas pedal there, but having that opportunity to be able to go, is this what I want in my life? Is this what I’m getting out of business travel of what I hoped it would be. And obviously, that’s where somebody like you as a business coach can kind of work and pull those types of things out or maybe reflect a little bit more on those questions. Is that correct?
Nick Davies 10:38 Absolutely. Something I always start with, and I always go back to is a real simple question of what do you want? Because I’m sure you’ve experienced this as well that generally speaking, when you ask people what they want, they will just tell you what they don’t want. And it’s a simple question, but it’s not one we often ask ourselves that are really deep. But I think that that’s what we’ve always got to point back to, is if you get if you find yourself getting stuck in the monotony of something is, and just getting frustrated with something to pull it back and say, hang on, let me distance myself a little bit. Let me create a little bit of space. So I can ask the deep questions, again, the real questions, why am I doing this? What do I really want? What does this serve me? How does it serve me? Who am I trying to serve?
Bryan Paul Buckley 11:23 So Nick, to go back to what you just said, where people answer with what they don’t want. Do you find at least in your coaching, that sometimes finding what you don’t want ultimately leads somebody to finding out what they do want? I mean, by like, some process of elimination, where it kind of uncovers like, Oh, I have an aha moment by doing the antithesis of answering that question.
Nick Davies 11:42 Yeah, no, absolutely. And there’s definitely value in saying what you don’t want. And, and, and for sure, and I’m not making people wrong for that. It’s a better process. And so if you’re going from your answer, the question of what you want is what you don’t want, you can just show yourself where you are in that process. Because you know, here’s the thing back To the patterns, if you’re not asking yourself questions, those types of questions on a regular basis, it’s not likely that you’re gonna have good answers. And that’s not that’s good. That’s not to say you can’t, it’s just you haven’t until you haven’t built that muscle.
Bryan Paul Buckley 12:12 That’s great. It’s not saying that you can’t, but that you just haven’t. That’s awesome. That’s a great phrase on that, and especially to someone who may be saying, Well, I don’t want to travel as much or I don’t want to be overweight, or I don’t want to be so disconnected with my family. Obviously, the opposite of that ultimately becomes what you want which kind of leads into this next question of how much of a difference does your road habits in your road routines make on the road? Like you’re talking about getting into the patterns into the grooves of that so how much of a difference does that really make?
Nick Davies 12:43 All the difference. All the difference. I was working with a client this morning. So he has a couple of different companies but he has a job as well. And, and the difference between one week to the next was absolutely monumental. About how he felt about it.
Bryan Paul Buckley 13:00 Interesting how so?
Nick Davies 13:01 And he so he the distinction he made was that he shared with me that I’m, I tend to be a night person. Think about that. But that’s just a belief he shared. I tend to be a night person. And you know, what is a belief? Belief is nothing but something that we’re really certain about. And because he’s believed by himself was that I tend to be a night person. His behavior supports that belief. And that led to him getting up later and later, staying up later and later, not being where he needs to be delivering. And so the commitment he made based on that distinction, now awareness was I’m going to start to get up at this time, no matter what. And the result of that was that he got exponentially more done in the week, but forget the result. He felt fantastic. When you feel great, you do great things. And I think that’s so important, especially going out on the road because the environments continuously changing around you. So you want to create as much structure as you can to enable yourself To be as successful, even with the flexibility of that how that environment might change. So you can control.
Bryan Paul Buckley 14:09 And that’s good, Nick. So going back to the question of what do I really want? By getting that question answered can help us to potentially from what I’m hearing from you, yep, maybe redesign our habits or our road routines, or our patterns to be able to fit exactly what we ultimately want to become. Can you unpack that a little bit more?
Nick Davies 14:30 Absolutely. So if you’re, and part of my career, and the traveling that I did, was joyful for me because it wasn’t so much it was like, Okay, I get an opportunity to go to a different country. Wow, I get to visit the people that I talk to on a regular basis. I get to see different cultures a little bit of that, what’s gonna pay for it, this is gonna be great. And so it was more like an adventure for me. So my outcome, my goal, what I want was just to enjoy the experience. Okay, I’m going to take away can I’m going to I’m gonna, probably not, I’m going to get away from my regular patterns and just enjoy it.
Bryan Paul Buckley 15:06 because you because you’re the attitude and the mindset of adventure.
Nick Davies 15:09 Yes, yes, exactly. Whereas, whereas if my goal was my outcome was what I want was that this is an integral part of me being successful in my business or my career. And I’ve got to be much more precise about the way that I do that. I can’t just be adventurous by doing it, I’ve got to create the parameters of something I’m doing on a regular basis. So my behavior is going to be much more different than on the venture side, I’m going to, I’m going to stay out and have that late dinner, maybe I would have a couple of drinks. Now maybe I’m going to miss a workout in the morning. So I’m there for the adventure takeaway comes. But if my overall goal is to maximize myself, from my business for the company I’m working for now I want to make sure I’m getting very precise about that. I need to know how I can show up in my best. I’m going to be doing the big meeting, and I’m going and I’m going to be doing the social part of it but a time I’m gonna be straight back to my room so I can prep, I can sleep. So I can go work out and make sure that I’m in the right possible for the best possible frame for the next day so that that part is so important.
Bryan Paul Buckley 16:10 So this is actually really good because I think you’re, you’re leveraging in you know, the desire for adventure, but also not at the cost of what is the ultimate goal of the business trip. So for example, somebody could choose to have an adventure as part of the trip or adventure is to say, Hey, I’m going to try you know, this food in New Orleans or I’m going to try whatever or I’m going to visit, you know, this sightseeing place right in here, which is adventurous, but not at the ultimate cost of whatever my overall goal is, of the business trip. So it kind of leads into one question to ask you is, well, how do you create focus while traveling for business? Because if obviously, you’ve got a lot of things that are going on, sometimes focus becomes the hardest area because of all these other variables. You know, travel friction, if you will, that’s kind of biting you on a given business trip. How does focus come into play?
Nick Davies 16:59 There’s a Really cool duality here right it’s the one that jumps right out for me Brian is precision, the more precise you can be around the things that you know that serve you the best. For instance, I need to soon as I get off the plane get to my hotel, the first thing I do is always have a workout. For instance, I always need to make sure that I get up by a certain time I set my clock straightaway and have the workout every morning whatever that is, you getting really precise on it, because the more precision you can have on those but the scaffolding if you like, the template of what your traveling looks like, the more freedom that you can actually have in expressing your artistry of maximizing your not only the adventure of it but also the business side of it as well. So there’s that duality that the irony of, Okay, one side I need to get really structured and precise. That’s going to actually allow me to have more fun and create more and be more business-wise and fun wise. So that find that balance for what you need. Play around with it, and be curious about it, what works for me? and be honest, because we all really know, we’re being honest. We already know what those things are for us.
Bryan Paul Buckley 18:10 Well, I love man, there’s just so much there and precision around the areas that produce your best results. I mean, I think that’s just what’s really, really powerful. And to your point to Nick, I think sometimes we just we’re not aware, we’re not thinking about it, we’re not intentional, we just go out and do our road life. We just do the deal. And we don’t always realize how it’s affecting us how it’s benefiting us, but also how it affects other people. And one area that I really resonated with you and we had our conversation was really kind of on that power of connecting with other people and the energy of this there and how are we presenting our best self and what are they receiving out of that? So how, how do you leverage the power of connection as a business traveler with meeting new people or coming in for a window of time and then leaving so can you drill down on that a little?
Nick Davies 19:01 Yeah, I mean, first of all, wow, what a gift it is to be a business traveler. What a gift. You get to go to all of these different places you get to decide to bring your best self to it to build relationships change lives in the moment. How cool is it when someone comes in sweeps into your business sweeps into your life, they come with this massive energy. And they come with a perspective, which is it, which is what we don’t see so often something that just takes things to the next level, you get to go in and be that person, impact people and then go to the next one and do the same thing. Again. I want to underscore that point. Because it’s so important that we have to think of it as a gift. It’s a great thing of what we’re doing right now. Right? That’s the start point. And that’s the mindset. And then it’s thinking about all those things as relationships because ultimately business is relationships, business is relationships, and so that thinking it from that point, okay, it’s a gift. And everything here is about relationships. How do you take all of the patterns that you see there’s that word again, the patterns that you. See from all of the people that you’re privileged to work with and interact with, and bring those to the next person? The best parts of that, that conversation, the best parts of that relationship, put it into that next relationship, and so on and so forth and kind of continue to play that around and just be there for people, especially in the environment right now. Like, if you’re in a car, right now, this thing, if you’re at the airport, getting on it, get on an airplane, if you’re thinking okay, cool. I’ve got that big meeting coming up for me, but just think about the people side of it. But like, how can you in the next interaction you have, give what that person needs, I can just get a deeper connection. And if that’s all you ever focus on just getting that little bit deeper connection. That alone is gonna stand you in fantastic stead been super successful of whatever your chosen field is.
Bryan Paul Buckley 20:51 So let’s drill down and I think you’ve kind of hit a nerve here. I think the easiest thing is that we’re just not aware of the impression we’ve left on others. So I think when we do raise that awareness You’re really talking about how can I get a deeper connection? So let’s just ask the obvious question on that, especially even somebody introverted or they just kind of do their deal, and then they just go on to the next their next meeting or next appointment. Why is that deeper connection important? So we’re going to quantify that, like, what’re the results of that? If I have to make the effort to have that deeper connection?
Nick Davies 21:23 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we always want to be coming back to the results for sure. Because you know that otherwise, it’s just a nice conversation, we’ve got to pull those things together. We want to see the results. We always want tangible results for sure. And let’s do it in a way that we enjoy it right? Because ultimately, everything happens under the banner of rapport. And the more that rapport that you can build with someone, the more relationship relational currency you have with someone. So really think about like a bank account that you have with someone, the more that you can pull yourself into that relationship and create more currency, the more opportunity that things are going to pop up. As I was saying, The harder I work the luckier I get. Obviously, the harder that is, it’s I love it. All right, you too, the more that you put into something, the more you’re going to get out. And the thing that we often don’t see, or tend to disregard, is that we want this or expect some sort of instant feedback, instant gratification if I do this for you right now what do I get. And of course, that’s not really the way that the world works, but it’s giving value for value sake, how can I make things better for you? And often, in fact, I’d go too far and say, all the time, that will come back to you. the way it comes back to you, you don’t know. But again, having that acute awareness of knowing that if I pour into this relationship, if I give the most I can to give bringing value to this person, somewhere along the line, it’s gonna come back to me a couple of years down the line, they’re gonna say, hey, look, I can, I’ve got a fantastic favorite introduction with you. And they’re gonna introduce you to where the leverage is that that currency. So I would say it’s everything. And it’s, it’s, we want to make sure we’re always tying it back to the results as you talk about Brian. But make sure that you can see that for yourself. I’m willing to bet that and if you look at your business results over the last six months, think about where that came from. Think about and I’m willing to bet that come from your strongest relationships that you have in your business. I bet you could tie those relationships back the one instruction you got before that, and the one before that as well. And it’s all going to come down to the relationship.
Bryan Paul Buckley 23:31 We’ll be back for the remainder of this interview after this short break.
Bryan Paul Buckley 23:43 Overseeing a business travel team is a challenge, especially when you just want consistent results. Is that too much to ask? There is a grind of business travel that has two levels of costs if you consider the first is obviously the business traveler. Secondly is the company When your business travelers only a short flight away from burnout due to the stress of the road, they’re costing you money and results in the entire world. According to the Kingston study, 45% of the 200 frequent business travelers surveyed reported higher stress levels than normal while on work trips, and 31% said they’ve experienced emotional exhaustion, which is one of the major risk factors of burnout, and this is on a weekly basis. Another study showed 80% of those who have experienced mental health problems, aka stress on the road, have never told their employer and you need to know. You may not even realize burnout could cost you up to 200% of their salary. And this doesn’t even factor in the loss of productivity of that person, going from busy to beat down to burnout. These stats are staggering. Yet most companies continue to do business as usual or in this case, business travel as usual, why? Too many companies who have business travelers and especially those that lead the road where teams are just simply unaware of any signs of burnout. And as a result, Elite Road Warrior Group has done the heavy lifting for you. We’ve created a resource called seven early warning signs for companies to avoid business travel burnout. And you can find this absolutely free PDF resource at eliteroadwarrior.com Get your copy of the seven early warning signs for companies to avoid business travel burnout at eliteroadwarrior.com
Bryan Paul Buckley 25:43 There are some guys in Southern California that I’ve known for a decade and I’ve represented different companies mostly on contract work kind of coming in as a brand specialist, corporate trainer, and every time that I come back to them with a different company, they’re automatically thrilled to hear from me. Hey, what’s the update What’s going on? You know, at that point, hey, what do you need, you know, hey, you need to get back in here, y’all for another training into here. And it was super cool. Because really just even a couple of years ago, and one of the guys had mentioned before he got any gun use that as a moment. He’s the head guy. It’s all these sales guys, not 50 sales guys. And he says to them, he says, Hey, Bryan’s here right now because of the power of connection. And he said, I’ve known him for 10 years, and whatever it comes in whatever he’s promoting, or selling or, you know, endorsing, I’m gonna go with because I like and I trust Bryan. But Frank and I have been out a number of times just talking or you know, working to take care of his customers taking them out to eat. And there’s that you to your point, that rapport, that relationship, that deeper connection. Now, obviously, to your point earlier, you don’t always know when that’s going to come back to when, or benefits from the result, but it has over and over and over and over. Sometimes it’s a year later. Sometimes it’s three years later, sometimes it’s six months later depends on the contract that has come out to be true. So, man, that is a really, really good point on there, Nick. So what are some ways that we can improve in the area of connection with people on the road?
Nick Davies 27:07 Yeah, and I just before I answer that, if I may, Bryan, just come back to your point because people tend to dismiss that. They’ll see in other people, oh, why did that guy get that deal? Oh, it’s just because he’s got a good relationship, just because they like each other, meaning that it’s something that they can’t do anything about, which of course, is not the case, right? And so you can actively work on those relationships and two answers that will lead to your question, right? So just be aware of those like, you tend to dismiss it all. But that’s what they’re just that’s just how the relationship that this guy has. That’s just who he is. You get to choose who you want to be.
Bryan Paul Buckley 27:47 That’s good.
Nick Davies 27:48 And so what are the practical applications? How can you do this? Again, back to that what a precision part should be part of your on the road program. Who are the people that I’m going to see on this trip, or this part of this trip that are the most important, and what do I know about them? And what is it? How can I? How can I strengthen the depth of relationship? How can I really listen? It’s going to start from that. If you can go and say I’ve met this guy, there are so many people that I’ve talked to met over the years and clients I see oftentimes from a, from an individual point of view, a business point of view. Well, they have relationships with people they’ve had for 10 years. But those relationships are still surface. And so it’s going to come back to well, listening, and really understanding about people and I think one of the biggest things, why coaching is so powerful is because we’re not playing on the surface. We’re getting to learn stuff about the people, if you’ve got five people in the next three days that you know, they’re going to be impactful to your business. You like to get on with and you respect. Ask some questions. What else is going on in your life? At least I don’t know about you. Learn. Get curious to make some notes put that down part of your precision.
Bryan Paul Buckley 29:03 Oh, what did you say? Take notes. Why?
Nick Davies 29:07 Absolutely. Yeah. Hey, if it’s not written down doesn’t exist. It’s my belief.
Bryan Paul Buckley 29:12 And so then especially when you’re on other cities, you know, and you think you’re gonna remember, you know, it reminds me, Nick of a quote, my dad used to say, hated as a kid. He said, You know, you talk about, he said, If you ask people questions, they’ll talk to you for hours. If you talk about yourself, they’ll listen to you for minutes. And so true, right. And one of the things that a mentor of mine taught me was just the power of using LinkedIn. So I can get on to somebody’s profile, I’m going to visit you know, Jeff Johnson, for example. And I realized, Oh, you know, well, he went to, you know, he went to Ohio State University, and I could teach him like, I’m from the University of Michigan and get the IRA all riled up. I’m saying, or my case, being a Cubs fan, you know, and being Cardinals or whatever, you know, you find that that level of connection on there to your point, get personal, to remember that, you know, they’ve got kids or they’re a big sports fan of this, or they like this for that, and that level of resonance that can be able to create from that. So any additional thoughts or ideas on the power of connection on the road?
Nick Davies 30:12 Absolutely. And, you know, I’m making notes, I’m always making notes. I’m always writing things down, right? Just to that point, you’ve got to do that. Because you can’t do that, we have 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts every day. 85% of those are the same. They’re the ones that aren’t, we’re not going to remember we’ve got to write stuff down as an important thing to think about. So let us extend that right. Because to your point, everyone’s favorite subject is themselves and doesn’t come from an ego perspective. It just is right because they’ve always got stuff to talk about. I’d extend think about private as a coach, we, we create something which we call wow system, which is basically just creating those moments where you have people that are important to you great relationships that you can make and go Wow. What does that look like? I’m picking up okay, well, Bryan’s a Cubs fan. Right, good. Well, out but now No, no, no, let’s be specific. Okay, well, as we’re going through a relationship and I see something that is, is related to the Cubs, hey, I’m gonna get that I’m gonna give that to Bryan. Thinking of you. How cool is this? There you go. And so it doesn’t have to be stuff you buy people can be moments. Hey, thinking of you dropping your text today because I know it’s your anniversary. Congratulations. Do you want to be today? I offer you that challenge. Be the best. How do you want to be the best version of yourself? So it’s having that sensory acuity to listen to people to understand where they are, what’s important to them, and just offer that on a sincere, authentic level. And people appreciate that.
Bryan Paul Buckley 31:39 But Nick is so good, man. Man, it’s so good especially on the listening and picking up on the details. Yeah, my wife and I joke around our favorite parts of a segment of a movie was Dumb and Dumber when the two guys are sitting in them in the bathtub and I think it was Lloyd says you know to say why does Freida wanna break up with you anyway, it’s as well as she said I was in a Very good listener. Well, what else did she say? I don’t know, I really wasn’t paying attention. You know, it’s first of all, great writing, man. I mean, like, into little, you know, a little back and forth there. That’s awesome writing. But it’s very, very true that if people are willing to ask a question, being willing to listen to the answer, especially too if you’re looking as an opportunity to build rapport and build a connection with there, so I mean, Nick, I mean, we could spend hours on this, I mean, this would be a really good thing to come back on another episode and unpack a little bit more there because I think you’ve got a lot of gold in that area. So but let’s go talk about as a coach, what differences do you see in those who prioritize personal development? And those that don’t because energy habit number five is “develop personally and professionally”. So how do you see the differences for those who take that seriously in their lives? And what are the results what are their changes if you can unpack that?
Nick Davies 32:54 I love this question so much. Thank you. It’s everything because the default in life is the erosion of the quality of our life. Things don’t say that I get better. That’s a great quote, the default in life is the erosion of the quality of our life. Things do not get better by themselves. If you leave something alone, it gets worse. And we have to be very intentional about that. And what was the thing that we all have is our biggest asset. It’s us, we are our biggest asset. And so think about it. If you don’t invest in you, you’re moving towards something that can’t be sustained. And even if you’re happy with where you are, which I would challenge most people one because there’s always more progress equals happiness. Even if we got everything Hey, why do people that have everything quote, unquote, get bored and fed up? Because they’re not moving forward. They’re not growing. And so there’s always something that doesn’t matter where you are different part of your life, it’s so important to really invest in you. And that’s why I think it’s the most important thing, hey, look, what are you worth? How much are you investing in you? Because you that’s the only way you’re gonna get a payback from that. There’s no limit there. And so I would think about that, like, how actively are you using your resources to invest back into you? Maybe that’s money. Maybe that’s time. There are two main things we’re talking about here. Maybe it’s both together. How do you know that you’re getting the right return that you need? Are you really asking yourself honest questions? Are you willing to do the work? Are you willing to put yourself out there and be vulnerable about it? And look, ultimately, if you want to have a different level of life and play this game, a more fulfilling level, you’ve got to become that person. You’ve got to become that person first. You can’t get, you can’t make a billion dollars and then say, Okay, now I’m going to work on being the person I need to be there has a billion dollars, you become that person first. And then it appears That’s why people that win the lotto win $10 million in the lottery, lose it all because they’re not a person that has that type of money
Bryan Paul Buckley 35:08 Impressively quick, impressive. Right? So Nick, do you find that the reason people don’t develop or dive into personal development or push back on personal development on the two reasons that you gave because of money and time? Do you find that those are legitimate reasons/excuses when What’s your impression of that? I mean, obviously, when you’re talking about people are coming to you or exploring potentially coaching with you? What are their push backs of that and how valid are they?
Nick Davies 35:37 Yeah, it’s funny to me I love the excuses is what we tend to think about. I like to think about it also stories, you know, we’re always telling ourselves a story, but we’ve got this continual narrative of why we do justify the why are we doing things that we’re doing good or bad, you know, and so if your story is that, you know, “I just haven’t got enough money to invest in me right now.” “I don’t think that right now I’m in the right place.” And my favorite is, “I’m not ready.” Because if you unpack that, like, what does that really mean? You’re not ready to start? It’s the chicken and the egg scenario. Yeah, seriously, you know, so so it’s either just ask yourself that real question. I know that there are some realities of life and, and not everyone is always in the right place for coaching. And maybe that’s not the right situation, I get that. That’s absolutely fine. You know, ask yourself, what, what, where are you letting yourself off the hook right now? Are you in a place where you really have everything? Just comes back down to that, that honesty again, the questions that we don’t generally ask ourselves, and if you were the best place to start is at the beginning. We just get scared. Our mind is there not make us happy or we will have this 2 million-year-old mind we’ve heard about the other reptilian mind, monkey mind, whatever you want to call it. It’s there for survival. So we don’t die. So we don’t get attacked by saber-toothed tigers, we run up trees look after ourselves. That’s what, that’s what it’s there for it does a great job.
Bryan Paul Buckley 37:08 And I try to see other cities right now now that I’ve advanced, just so you know, not running up trees. Well, it’s just part of my adventure for the trip. But no, you’re exactly right. So what are some questions then Nick, that we could begin to unpack? So let’s say we’re, you know, just from the one we hear all the time, at least that I hear all the time has to do with time is I don’t have enough time I’m on the road, I barely have enough time to get my work done, let alone sleep or let alone eat healthier, let alone You know, personally develop which is usually the last of the energy habits for somebody to really really drill down into, which obviously could sometimes be their biggest benefit by doing that personal professional development. So what are some questions that maybe somebody who’s on the road listening to this has already gone man, I’m so busy right now, and start to think through that maybe some of these you’ve already unpacked already.
Nick Davies 37:56 Yeah, I love it. I mean, this I mean, I’ll challenge your own story. If you hear yourself saying haven’t got enough time and enough time? That’s the story. Is it really true? Do you want it to be true? If no, are you willing to change something? That’s the question you’ve got to ask yourself, are you willing to change? Because if you can honestly ask, just answer that and say no. Then you are where you are. You have to be willing to change. Because now you could, you could apply some specific actions towards that. And a great way to think about it would be okay, well, I just need to see what’s really true and track my day. Where am I actually spending my time? when I’m traveling? How much time on the plane? Am I just sitting there staring into space? When I actually use him? Am I actually watching movies? If you’re watching Netflix, any time of the day ever, you’ve got time.
Bryan Paul Buckley 38:47 That’s honesty. That’s true.
Nick Davies 38:50 That’s brutal honesty. And so so to do something like a tracker to show yourself where you’re spending your time, you won’t do that unless you’ve decided for yourself to answer the question. Whether you’re willing to investigate whether you’re willing to do something different, give yourself permission. That’s the first thing. But the tools. Gosh, they’re there. I’ve got as many tools as there is my, my arm is long. It’s just Are you willing to use them or not? Because oftentimes, it’s like, well, how do I do this? How do I do it? How do I do it? What’s the best thing to do here? What’s the best tool? And also release the best one is the one that you will actually use on the downswing.
Bryan Paul Buckley 39:28 And a tool that’s actually getting you back to the original point. Where do you want to go? who you want to be? And are you willing to stop and ask those questions? And sometimes the road really can be that I mean, think about it, Nick. We do have you referenced the airplane, you know, if I’m flying from Chicago to San Diego, for example, or Seattle, I got four-plus hours, man, I got time to do about all those things. I got time to be able to read I got time to ride. I got time to check the email. I’ve got time to watch a 30-minute show. I got a chance to what have you got a lot of time that’s there. Just a matter of how do we leverage those windows of time early morning. I’m not getting kids out of school, my wife to school, on a business travel day when I’m not traveling for business. So you’re right, there are windows of times. And to use your analogy, if you have time to watch Netflix, you have time. So I think that’s a great, great analogy. So let’s put a bow on this here. Any closing thoughts you’ve got from the kind of the journey we’ve had on this conversation.