Bryan Buckley

Three Mindset Shifts to Stay Connected With Those Back Home

When I first started traveling, I was completely unaware of how my business travel life would affect my family in the short term let alone the long term.

I was simply excited to see a new city or have a new experience and wanted to share it with my family and friends – who wouldn’t, right?

But their response was a “good for you” or “wow, must be rough to travel for work.” They saw the highlights and of course, that’s all I was sharing with them.

three mindset shifts to stay connected with those back home

I somehow forgot that their lives back home continued as mine took a pause while I hopped on a plane, stayed at a nice hotel, and had my meals prepared for me with no responsibilities at home.

They quickly grew weary of my updates that only seemed to highlight their mundane life back home. Another day just like yesterday.

But when the weeks became months and the months became years, distance started to grow more than just the miles from home and my next city.

One of the areas I hear Road Warriors struggle when they open up and are truly honest is staying connected with those you love back home. It’s a challenge to maintain a relationship where you’re simply not there.

Author, Andy Stanley, talks about learning the difference between Problems to Solve and Tensions to Manage. Often there is a clear difference and with relationships on the road, this a clear Tension to Manage with tension as the keyword many times.

When I talked to other Road Warriors about this challenge, their feelings were strong. Maybe you can relate…

Ever Felt This Way?

“I’m killing it on the road but getting killed at home”

“I’m important on the road but invisible at home”

“I’m in control when I travel but lose control in my own home”

“I tell others what to do on the road but only get told what to do at home”

“The guilt of being gone is just overwhelming and feel my kids will hold it against me someday”

Other “off the cuff” comments went something like this…

“After a week or two home, my wife would ask me when my next trip was scheduled because I was messing up her groove at home.”

“My spouse and I are just house managers now. I do my road thing and she does the home thing. Not ideal but it is what it is and we make it work.”

“My marriage didn’t make it because we just grew apart with my travel and being gone so long. We both didn’t try but I feel the most guilt for not trying hard at all when I was on the road. Oh, the regrets.”

“This is the ideal marriage – you have direct deposit and rarely home!”

Hard but true comments from real Road Warriors.

It’s easy to have the road become a place of escape from the busyness and the responsibilities back home. And when you have some of the above feelings or can relate to the quotes, it makes the business travel life all the more appealing.

Three Mindset Shifts to Stay Connected With Those Back Home

1. Respect Their Lives Are Continuing Back Home Without You

It is hard accepting this simple reality but it’s true. Just as you’re gone doing what you do on the road, they’re at home doing their lives, business as usual with or without you and often they have the exact same routine every single day when our schedule on the road is often the complete opposite.

The longer you travel, the more those back home “get used to” you being gone and they adjust, adapt, and make the best of it. I don’t like to be replaced so I have a hard time with this one.

Too often my schedule is the only thing at the forefront of my mind and I need to be reminded my daughter has volleyball tonight and my son has soccer. My oldest is studying for a big test and my little one’s cough is getting worse.

When you come back home, there’s catch up to do with family and friends. You do what you can on the road, but the more days you’re gone, the more life events you miss, this reality becomes all the truer.

Respect may look more like asking and listening than talking and impressing.

2. Realize Those Back Home May Not Want to Know Everything

I had an opportunity to apply this one and blew it albeit with good intentions. My wife loves sunsets so I drove to the coast so we could FaceTime and enjoy it together. (yeah, you see where this one is going, don’t you?)

Well, it was picturesque, my kids were soaking it in and my wife starts to cry and not those tears of joy kind. The sun could NOT have set fast enough, and it’s still a joke between us now but I sure didn’t get it at the moment.

I remember when I finally got this point – I was in La Jolla, CA for a business dinner in a restaurant that overlooked the cliff into the Pacific Ocean. And like it couldn’t be any better, the sunset was amazing, the wine was great, and the two professional athletes were sitting next to me.

Then my phone rings from my wife. Of course, she calls now. And I didn’t want to answer but I did. I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut. I was gone all week, this was my last night and the last thing she needed and wanted to hear was what an amazing night I was having when it was below zero back home and one of the kids was throwing up.

I finally got this lesson to realize they may not want to know everything. We need to realize and be guarded what we share from our highlights. If they do seem to enjoy it, they may be doing it just to be nice!

The key is knowing when and how to involve those back home in your life on the road. I’ve learned to ask my wife just how much she wants to know about my dinner or location – this question is from doing it wrong way too many times.

3. Reaching Out Should Look Differently

The road limits us on how and when we reach out. But often we can use this as an excuse because of the limitations and inconveniences.

I was better than the average at “checking in” back home but it was usually just that, checking in. And when I did, sadly I was often distracted and not giving what little time I did have for those back home, my full attention.

My wife knew and often my kids unintentionally would call me out: “Dad, what are you reading right now?” Caught.

The Check-In is necessary but the bare minimum. But the Connect-In goes over and above and requires so much more of us but worth every moment of it.

At some point on the road, we need to move from the Check-In Guy or Girl to the Connect-In Guy or Girl. They deserve us reaching out differently that is more about them, not about fitting them in “when I have a moment.”

There are many creative and thoughtful ways to Connect-In but this comes with maturity and commitment to truly stay connected with those you love back home.

In the End…

I challenge you to really think through if you’re a Check-In Guy or Girl. Be honest. Do you fit those back home in the margins? Do you give them your full attention and fully present when you are connecting with them? Are you respecting their world without you while you’re gone?

My hope is you’ll be motivated and inspired to become a Connect-In Guy or Girl who learns to excel in this key focus area of the business travel life.

8 Simple Ways to Wreck a Good Night of Sleep on the Road

Sleep. So many of us have a love/hate relationship with sleep. To some, it’s something you have to do not want to do and yet to others, they seem to sleep their life away.

Ironically, it’s the one thing we do every day more than about anything else except work. Yet most of us are really bad at it. Seriously, how do you suck at sleep?

8 Simple Ways to Wreck a Good Night of Sleep on the Road

I go through phases where I get to bed later on the road for business but have a quiet morning when I’m more consistent with my bedtime at home but the house is up and moving earlier.

And it’s a challenge if you’re in a different hotel bed from one night to the other, dealing with foreign noises and light.

As a preface, I was an over-achiever who had a knack at stealing precious sleep hours so these 10 simple ways to wreck a good night of sleep come from a doctorate level of personal experience. How many of them are true of you? (By the way, more is NOT better for you over-achievers). Are you ready?

8 Simple Ways to Wreck a Good Night of Sleep on the Road

1) Don’t Value Sleep

Make sleep a necessary evil. Do it only when you absolutely have to. After all, aren’t you there on this business trip to work every possible moment?!

Just get to it when you get to it. Ironically, we would never say we don’t value sleep but our actions or our sleep proves otherwise.

The truth is you know to make sleep a priority. It’s just a matter of doing it.

High quality sleep fortifies your immune system, balances your hormones, boosts your metabolism, increases your physical energy, and improves the function of your brain.

Holy Shut-eye. Batman, that’s a lot of benefits!

But sleep must matter to you. It has become a bigger deal in your life to move your energy needle.

Don’t fall for the lie that you can gain more time by stealing from sleep.

Being awake is catabolic (breaks you down) and being asleep is anabolic (builds you up) and heightens the growth and rejuvenation of the immune, skeletal, and muscular systems. Basically, sleep rebuilds you and keeps you youthful.

Research shows that after just 24 hours of sleep deprivation, there is an overall reduction of 6% in glucose reaching the brain. Simple translation: you get dumber – more dumber.

This is also why you crave candy, chips, doughnuts, and other starchy, sugary things when you’re tired. Your body is trying to compel you to get that glucose back to your brain as soon as possible.

Your partial love and the prefrontal cortex actually lose 12 to 14% of their glucose when you don’t sleep. These are the areas of the brain we most need for thinking, for distinguishing between ideas, for social control, and for being able to tell the difference between right and wrong. Have you ever made a poor decision late at night and wouldn’t have made normally. You ask yourself, what was I thinking?

When you’re sleep deprived, you’re setting up what Shawn Stevenson calls a “steel cage match between your willpower and your biology.” The deck is stacked against you.

START HERE:

You think you need more time when you actually need more energy and that starts with sleep. If I’m rested, I’m more likely to make better eating choices, workout, and feel better about my day. So, start by making it a priority and applying as many of these ideas.

2) Give Me Light and Make Me Warm

After all, light before bed and while I sleep doesn’t matter. It sure hasn’t so far, right? On the road, you may be so tired that you fall asleep with the lights on.

Actually, you’re in the dark on this one.

Sleeping in complete darkness is so significant that nighttime light has been called “light pollution” and refers to any adverse effects of artificial light.

One of the most devastating impacts of this light pollution is its effect on the production of melatonin. Studies show that exposure to room light during sleep hours surprises melatonin levels by more than 50%. And a Harvard Medical School study found that exposure to light at night throws the body’s biological clock out of whack. Again, not good.

The truth is we need a blackout to optimize our sleep.

Secondly, Make Me Warm!

Most people are completely unaware of how temperate effects our sleep.

When it’s time for your body to rest, there’s an automatic drop in your core body temperature to help initiate sleep. If the temperature in your environment stays too high, then it can a challenge for your body to get into the ideal state for restful sleep.

Now, just because you’re sleeping, doesn’t mean the quality of your sleep is great.

Studies show the optimal temperature range for sleep is between 60-67 degrees. The truth is you need a much lower temperature in your room than you realize.

START HERE:

1. Dark the room out – curtains/alarm clocks – I use a clip to keep the hotel curtains shut and wash clothes / electrical tape (I bring with me) for those annoying little lights in a hotel room.

2. Start slowly dropping the temperature in your room at night – I actually start the moment I walk into my hotel room then drop it even further a few minutes before bed

3) Work from a Screen or Watch a Screen Right Up to Bed

Be on your computer, phone, tablet or watch TV and you’re killing this one. And if you want extra points, do them all at the same time. This is SO easy to do with business travel.

Now, this is a guarantee to jack up your sleep – and it was totally me. I was constantly up late, TV on, working on my computer, stadium lights on (violating #2) right up to bed. Then wondered why I couldn’t fall asleep right away and my quality of sleep was horrible.

Why does it matter if you’re on a screen or not before bed?

There is an artificial blue light emitted by electronic screens that trigger your body to produce more daytime hormones and disorients your body’s natural preparation for sleep. You don’t even realize how these blue wavelengths affect your sleep let alone keep your mind active. This one change made a huge difference for me. Tough but worth it.

It’s hard to notice this blue light when you’re up close and personal to what you’re watching. But if you were to step way back you’ll notice. I especially notice it when you drive by someone’s house at night and the tv is on and the house is filled with this glowing and captivating blue light.

STAT:

Mariana Figueiro, PhD of the Lighting Research Center at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY and her team’ research showed that just 2 hours of computer screen time before bed was enough to significantly suppress people’s nighttime release of melatonin. When your melatonin secretion is thrown off, it will intrinsically throw off your normal sleep time. And continual use could lead to chronic disruption of circadian rhythms. And this could increase your odds of serious health issues.

Why is this hard? Dopamine is extracted as we search and seek, and find “that next thing”. It gives us a mini high and keeps us alert and dopamine is tied to motivation and alertness. Not good.

We need serotonin which is tied to contentment and relaxation.

Cutting back on your screen time at night is likely the number one thing you can do to improve the quality of your sleep immediately.

START HERE:

Your body and mind need to prepare for sleep and this one step could possibly be the number one thing you can do to improve your sleep quality immediately. Start by unplugging incrementally by 15 minutes, then 30, 45, and eventually 60 minutes and see how much better you sleep.

4) Sleep Random Amounts Every Single Night

Make sure you are as inconsistent as possible. 6 hours one night. 8 hours one night. 5 hours another night.

If you find yourself with two nights of consistency, this should scare you.

The truth is you need to go old school on your bedtime.

Old School eh?

Renowned neurologist, Kulreet Chadhary, MD says, “Timing your sleep is like timing an investment in the stock market – it doesn’t matter how much you invest, it matters when you invest.”

In order for you to get your ideal hours of sleep, you need to get your body on a schedule to get to bed at a preset time as often as possible. When you line your body up with its natural secretion of the hormone, your sleep benefits dramatically increase as well. Money sleep time is between 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. so the more you get rest during that window, serious bonus points. You actually feel more rested from sleep during that time. This will also allow your body’s circadian rhythm to get back on track.

According to the book Sleep Smarter, around 10 pm, your body goes through a transformation following the natural rise in melatonin. The purpose of this transformation is to increase internal metabolic energy to repair, strengthen, and rejuvenate your body. If you’re asleep as normal during this phase, all is well. However, if you’re up when 10:00 p.m. hits, that in case in metabolic energy can be experienced as a “Second Wind.”

It’s important to understand that your body’s ability to repair itself, remove free radicals, and maximize hormonal output is greatly inhibited when you allow yourself to stay up and move into that second wind.

Terry Cralle, in the book, Sleeping Your Way to the Top, talks about a sleep window to go to bed every single night and have your body begin to prepare for that CONSISTENT window.

START HERE:

Schedule it. Set a time (or a short window) and dude, stick to it! Set an alarm for bedtime just like you do to get up. Then begin increasing that time by 15 minutes until you feel rested. I know that every night on the road could be unpredictable but I know I have more control than I care to admit and it’s usually one night, two tops, that I don’t have control of my bedtime if I really wanted.

5) Do Whatever You Feel Like Close to Bed Time

Eat late, lights on everywhere in the room. And if you can watch something then plop into bed.

And the reality is most of simply don’t make any correlation between our activity before bed and why we can’t sleep. Imagine that.

I was SO guilty of this one. I had no consistency except being inconsistent added on with stimulus overload, then wondered why I couldn’t fall asleep. Thank you Captain Obvious.

The truth is we need an evening bedtime routine to prepare our bodies to sleep.

Once you know your ideal bedtime, you can back up what is required in your evening. The idea is setting a routine that will allow your body AND your mind to transition to sleep.

But most of us just stop working or turn off the tv, fall into bed, and wonder why we’re not sleeping with our mind still racing.

Choose to do something, anything but watch a screen. Your body and mind can be trained and need to have the consistency to prepare for its recharge and repair time.

START HERE:

Start by choosing activities that prepare you for bed: planning for tomorrow, turning down lights, putting things away from today and out for tomorrow, putting on your bed clothes (whatever THAT may be), brushing your teeth, etc. Anything that can become a routine to get you to prepare your body and mind for sleep.

6) Have Caffeine Whenever You Want Since It Doesn’t Affect Your Sleep

Most people actually believe that caffeine consumption even late in the day or before bed doesn’t affect their sleep.

One reason is that they drink caffeine ALL the time. Another reason is they don’t know what sleep is like WITHOUT caffeine in their system.

A study in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine by Dr. Drake, said, “drinking a big cup of coffee on the way home from work can lead to negative effects on sleep, just as if someone were to consume caffeine closer to bedtime.”

The study gave participants caffeine at three different times:

Immediately before bed
3 hours before bed
6 hours before bed

And do you know what the results showed? ALL showed measurable disruptions in their sleep.

I used to be a Mountain Dew addict and would have it before bed along with something salty. Little did I know what this caffeine was doing to my sleep.

The truth is many of us need to check into caffeine rehab.

The primary effects that caffeine has on sleep are to lengthen the time it takes to fall asleep and to decrease the total amount of sleep obtained. Not cool. Most people are simply not aware of its effects because they’re drinking caffeine almost all of the time. Check into caffeine rehab and see the difference for yourself.

START HERE:

Have a caffeine curfew. Limit caffeine in your system at least from dinner on with the ultimate goal of six hours before bed. Why? Because caffeine stays in your system at least that long and will linger to affect you in negative ways. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

7) Move as Little As Possible Throughout the Day

Sit sit sit. Get up late so you don’t work out. Sit in the airport, car, meetings, office, meals, couch before bed.

The truth is there is a direct correlation between being active and sleeping quickly and soundly. You gotta move, man!

The more you move, the more your body wants and needs restorative sleep.

A study published in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine found that patients with primary insomnia had a massive improvement in sleep quality when they added in a consistent exercise regimen. Here were the results:

A 55% improvement in sleep onset latency (they fell asleep faster)
A 30% decrease in the total wake tie during the test
An 18% increase in total sleep time during the test
A 13% increase in sleep efficiency (improved the quality of their sleep)

All this from exercise. Not sleeping pills, alcohol, rubbing a magic sleep lamp but exercise.

If you workout, this is Go Time for your body to repair itself and transform the way you want it too. But even more walking and movement will help.

The earlier you work out the better, but movement and exercise is still king for a killer night of sleep. You will fall asleep fast and improve the quality of sleep the more you up your game and move!

START HERE:

Start by doing whatever you can to add more movement into your say. Stand when you can. Park further away. Take the stairs. Add push-ups or jumping jacks. Anything! Ideally, balance between cardio and strength training and your sleep will dramatically improve!

8) Have a Night Cap Drink or Three

Nothing beats a little sauce close to bedtime. After all, it usually knocks me right out so it has to be good for my sleep, right?

The truth is alcohol may make you sleepy and knock you out quickly but the quality of your sleep is dramatically affected.

You won’t fall into deeper, consistent levels of REM sleep, and your brain and body won’t be able to fully rejuvenate. This is why people generally don’t feel that great after waking up from an alcohol-laced sleep. (Not to mention the kind or quantity you had to drink)

Quality of overall sleep is more important than falling asleep quickly or that “one more drink” mindset.

This is such a challenge and temptation for many on the road. I claimed it was “part of the job” but between us girls, I leveraged this as an excuse to extend it further into the evening that was truly necessary “for business sake.”

START HERE:

Start with limiting or eliminating alcohol after dinner. I’m all for a glass or two of wine with dinner, but then step away from the bottle (and of course not every night! – note to self). Be aware of the true affect alcohol plays in your actual rest. Three hours before bed is a good rule. Another role is one glass of water with one alcoholic drink.

Closing Thoughts:

Just how many of the 8 are reflective of you? In the end, it’s easier than you think to wreck your sleep.

Now, the challenge is to apply the start here suggestions and make some necessary changes to improve your sleep and watch your waking hours dramatically improve for the better on the road.

So, what now? Here are two suggestions:

1. Choose one of the ten to change on your next trip – something was obvious and stood out to you big time – change it tonight

2. Raise your awareness – you may not realize you’re doing some of the other ones- take note and change thy ways!

I challenge you to really focus on what could be wrecking your sleep and begin to make adjustments to gain an energy edge in your work and home life. Sleep on it.

How You Can Dramatically Increase the Success of Your Business Trip In Just One Day

I’m on a flight right now and eating homemade scrambled eggs, sautéed spinach and kale, cut up bell peppers and cucumbers with cherry tomatoes.

I do this every flight out of town.

On the other hand, I’m sitting next to Ed McMuffin Man. Have you seen him?

Right now he’s inhaling an Egg McMuffin, two hash browns, and washing it down with a jumbo Diet Coke. Diet, of course.

Does that make me better?

Well… I’ll let you be the judge.

How You Can Dramatically Increase the Success of Your Business Trip In Just One Day

Get to the Point

The point is we’re both on the 1st day of a business travel trip and we both made an anchor decision on how we’re starting off our trip.

He’s now in a coma while his phone is still on playing a movie. It’s not pretty.

I’m choosing to write. Again, you are the judge.

Unknowingly, he’s making decisions that are setting the tone for the rest of his trip.

I see this kind of guy ALL of the time when I travel. And there’s a reason he’s overweight, marginally effective, and lacks energy.

Daniel Pink in his latest book, WHEN, talks about Beginnings – Starting Right, Starting Again, and Starting Together.

His premise is what he calls False Starts, are MORE due to WHEN than WHAT.

If we do certain activities at the wrong time no matter if they’re the right activities, they simply will not have as strong as results.

For example, the 1st day of the year, or month, or week are what social scientists often call a “temporal landmark.”

Just as we use landmarks to guide us as a visual marker, we leverage these “Stand Out Days” from what Daniel Pink calls, “the ceaseless and forgettable march of other days and their prominence helps us find our way.”

Research to Prove It

In 2014, three scholars from the Wharton School of the University of Penn published this breakthrough paper in the science of timing that opened up our eyes to the understanding of the use of temporal landmarks and how we can leverage them for new beginnings or fresh starts.

These scholars analyzed 8.5 years of Google searches. They found that certain word searches spiked dramatically on key “fresh start days” and triggered a predictable motivation in people.

Daniel Pink noted there are two types of Temporal Landmarks: Social and Personal

1. Social – those everyone shared: Mondays / New Month / New Quarter / Holidays

2. Personal – unique to the individual: Birthdays / Anniversaries / Job Changes

Interestingly, two things happened whether social or personal temporal landmarks were used:

1. They allowed people to open “new mental accounts” in the same way a business closes the books at the end of one year and opens new books in the next year. It’s a break from the past mistakes and imperfections and leaves us confident about “what could be”. Key Marker: New Years Day or Birthday.

2. They also interrupt attention to the everyday minutiae causing people to take a big picture view of their lives and focus on achieving their goals.

As the Wharton scholars concluded, “People can strategically create turning points in their personal histories.”

I call this concept Anchor Days and here’s my definition of an Anchor Day:

“Key behaviors done on a specific date to serve as a kickstart for a period of time”

The power is in the word: ANCHOR.

What does an anchor do? The trusty dictionary defines an anchor as “A device used to prevent the craft from drifting (due to wind or current).”

We’re the Craft in the analogy and the drift is ANYTHING that takes us where we DON’T want to go!

You think about an Anchor. When it drops and takes hold, you don’t go anywhere or anywhere soon.

And since we’re notorious for drifting especially if we don’t start out strong hence the Power of an Anchor Day.

Let’s break down the key aspects of an Anchor Day…

There are THREE Key Aspects of an Anchor Day to be effective and be powerful:

1. Set Date – there must be a CLEAR starting date – This is the WHEN – a “specific day”

2 Catalyst Behavior – Key actions you need to do – This is the WHAT

3. Specific Triggers – reminders or cues / IF this, THAN that = WHERE

All three aspects are critical for an effective Anchor Day that gives you sustainable energy and incredible results.

Ideally, you combine the specific day/catalyst behaviors / specific triggers into a plan to make the most of the Anchor Day.

Anchor Days require Intention and Discipline.

They don’t “just happen”.

Did you catch that?

Anchor Days require Intention and Discipline.

You must INTEND to do them and they cause you to exert effort which requires discipline.

But the payoffs are absolutely huge.

So few people do them that when you create and implement an Anchor Day you’re already in a very elite group of high performers who are living with an Energy Edge.

Now, the goal is to find what potential days could be your own Temporal Landmarks and for business travelers, there is an obvious one.

Here are my own personal on-going anchor days on a consistent basis:

1. Mondays

2. New Month

3. New Quarter

4. 1st day of a business trip

Now, if you’re a business traveler there is an obvious one. Let me drill down on one that makes the biggest impact for me on a consistent basis:

My work is business travel a majority of the time and every trip has one major thing in common: the 1st day.

As a result, having an Anchor Day is absolutely key for me.

I’ve learned through the years the MOST IMPORTANT day of business travel for me is the 1ST day of the trip.

Why?

It’s rather simple. Because how the 1st day goes, the rest of my trip usually goes. A creature of habit.

If I can establish an “anchor” of certain behaviors on my 1st day, they will be my anchor keeping me grounded for the rest of the trip.

On the flip side, I witness first-hand business travelers with shallow or no anchors and their 1st day of the business trip is inconsistent and all over the place.

And I’ve learned, once the train leaves the station, or in my case, the plane leaves the airport, I need to work my Anchor Day Plan.

Not going to be THAT guy anymore. Sorry Ed McMuffin Man (not really).

Personal Example…

So, let’s work through the three aspects of an Anchor Day in my example of a Road Warrior:

Set Date – 1st day of my business travel – this is my WHEN

Catalyst Behaviors – What I EAT / How I MOVE / When I Sleep

And here are some examples for me personally:

1. Taking my Breakfast with me – I no longer leave this chance (AND if I have a healthy breakfast I’m FAR more likely to have a healthy lunch/dinner)

2. Movement – When I choose to stand more than sit, walk every chance I can, and get at least a few minutes of exercise no matter what and where I will feel so much better

3. Develop – I make sure I carve some time to develop both professionally and personally (which usually means reading)

4. Connect/Check in with Home – this is done by early morning videos/audio/text messages so my family has them from me before they even wake up

5. Rest – Early Bed Time – this is SO key the 1st day because most of the time I have an early flight and changing time zones

Now, remember, after the Set Date and Catalyst Behavior, is the 3rd aspect of the Anchor Day which is…

Specific Triggers – reminders or cues / IF this, THAN that = WHERE

Water bottle / Tupperware / snack bag out the night before
Apple Watch alarms – stand/drink water
Book in my work bag on the flight

What This Means to You…

What if you created your own Anchor Day on business travel? You have the same thing in common as me that every trip has a 1st day.

Here’s the challenge, what behaviors could be a catalyst for the rest of your trip’s success?

And what triggers could you put in place to make them a reality?

Let me give you some key areas:

Food
Movement (standing/walking / working out)
Personal and/or Professional Development
Checking in back home
Proper rest

The Challenge – Find a way to leverage the 1st day of your trip focusing on catalyst behaviors and creating specific triggers to make it happen. You got this.

The Hidden Power of Downtime

Downtime. I’m sorry, can you repeat that word again? I thought you said downtime. You must be thinking of the wrong person.

It seems like a lofty concept to have downtime but there is a hidden power found deep within this small pocket of time that is vastly under-utilized.

I refer to this extended time as Downtime and is the third part of the Rest Phase in The Energy Cycle – Sleep / Breaks / Downtime.

Here’s are two options:

Listen to this episode from The Energy Edge Podcast (live link or on iTunes, Stitcher, etc.)
Continue reading this post

We have to sleep but we don’t have to take breaks or downtime.

And I want to be clear out of the gate, Downtime is NOT a break.

Here’s the progression:
1. Breaks – Micro = Seconds / Mini = Minutes / Macro = many minutes (15-30) or chunks of time
2. Downtime = Hours
3. Sabbath = Half or Ideally Full Day

What is Downtime?

Official definition – a time of reduced activity or inactivity.

Read that again. a REDUCED activity or inactivity. Easy to say, difficult to actually implement.

But as you may know, I seem to make my own definitions, for example: a break means: Move the Body / Rest the Mind.

My definition of Downtime:

Time to Be NOT to Be On

Most of us are always on. Always going. Always in Production Mode. Oh how I know, I’m the one usually cracking the whip to get more done!

Time to be means, well, we’re not on and can just be ourselves. Hair down and feet up. Human Beings not Human Doings.

Downtime is something you look forward to engaging in – a sense of anticipation.

Downtime is not a waste of time but planned time – not looking at what you’re losing or not getting done but what you’re gaining and how much more you’ll get done will make all the difference in the hidden power of downtime.

Ironically, Downtime takes time.

We need to plan that it will take a few minutes to begin to connect with downtime. Our minds are usually still fully engaged in the last task.

The Ultimate Goal of Downtime = Feeling Refreshed

This means the whole point of taking this chunk of time out of my schedule is I will feel refreshed. Now, doesn’t that sound more appealing? A worthy end game?

Downtime is also margin, the additional space in our lives that allows us to breathe. We’re good at over scheduling and sucking any possible space in our lives.

This means avoiding scheduling everything back to back. Adding margin lowers our stress and allows us to have a more natural rhythm to our day which ironically allows us to be more productive in the end.

Margins are intentional and don’t just happen. We need to implement this needed space into our schedule.

Why Don’t We Take Downtime?

1. I don’t have the time especially extended time -this is easily the top reason cited on why we don’t take downtime. It requires a commitment to time.

2. Downtime feels unproductive – believe it or not, doing nothing is difficult especially to an over-achiever who is always used to doing something.

3. Downtime is a luxury I just can’t afford – maybe when I reach a certain level but certainly not now. This is my time to hustle not to kick back and relax.

4. Downtime feels lazy – it’s an unusual feeling to experience downtime especially when others are working and I’m just laying around doing n0thing.

5. We downplay the value of downtime -and this gets to the heart of the issue, we just don’t see the benefits or possibly never experienced the benefits of downtime

Question. When was the last time you had a half day off or Full day of work? (May have been a holiday) What did it feel like? Did you look forward to it? Benefit from it?

If we’re honest, we really enjoyed it. But it was almost forced upon us. Why not gain from this natural rhythm by adding downtime as part of our week?

What Do You Do During Downtime?

Well you don’t do…

Work – normal day job stuff
Things that feel like work – cleaning the house / bills / anything you dread

You do…

1. Escape from the Norm – we know the norm all too well but we must escape it and for an extended period of time to benefit from downtime

2. Play – huh? Seriously, play. Nothing beats that childlike time of not having a care in the world and enjoying recess or going outside just to play. It’s in you, I promise. Maybe hire one of your kids to show you how to do this gift in life again.

3. Rest – this may be the first area most of us need because we’re just plain tired. This is relaxing by slowing down to catching up on sleep. It could be in a form of a nap or just allowing our bodies to catch up with our minds.

4. Daydream– this means allowing your mind to roam free. Nothing specific to solve or work through but just think about whatever you want to think about (that is relaxing) and doesn’t feel like work. You will be amazed at some of the ideas that come out of daydreaming.

Ideas to Find Downtime.

1. Find an Interest – what would you like to learn? Play? What do or did you like to do that brought you joy? Stress release? Something you’re good at? – draw / paint / build / create / write. You have interests so rekindle them. Here’s a hint: when have you said “I’d love to do this if I had the time” and there’s your answer.

2. Find an Adventure – many of us are adventurous and may struggle just lying around the house. But an adventure? I’m all for it! Consider hiking, taking half or full day trip. How about something spur of the moment that all you needed was a block of time? Here’s your chance.

3. Find a Luxury – spoiling ourselves seems like an after thoughts but could be the perfect starting point for downtime. Schedule a massage, manicure, facial and just enjoy being pampered. See how you feel afterwards and you’ll have a completely different outlook on downtime.

4. Find a Rabbit Trail – what activity such as a book or TV show do you want or could get lost in? For my wife and I was the TV show, LOST. For me personally it was the show, Breaking Bad. There are rabbit trails out there you can just chase and see where it will take you.

5. Find an Activity – Date Night with a Spouse. Family Game or Movie Night. Attend a sporting event. All three are personal favorites.

Now, sometimes Downtime may need to be alone. You simply need to recharge by yourself. But other times, Downtime may need people you enjoy – spouse / family / friends.

The key is knowing what YOU need to feel refreshed and allows you time to be and not to be on.

Downtime Challenges.

Yet of course anything of value is going to have its challenges and downtime is nothing different. You must find the hidden power of downtime.

1. Challenging career / season – the reality is life has its winter seasons where life is simply challenging and difficult. But, if you know and accept the true benefit of downtime, you’ll schedule it in to actually make this season not only more bearable but productive and possibly enjoyable along the way.

2. Having kids and the busyness of your family – this is my world ALL the time with five kids. School, sports, church, events. The schedule is part of our life but all the more reason to schedule in downtime to have energy for the family who matter the most to me.

3. Your wiring – your temperament may be go go go and downtime is asking you to stop stop stop. Well, kinda. Remember, Downtime is asking us to be not to be on and that may mean being active. You choose what allows you to feel refreshed and overcome this challenge.

But how do you implement Downtime…?

Downtime Strategies.

1. Plan For It – This is the WHEN Downtime will happen. It needs to be scheduled. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but what gets scheduled gets done and we need it to be a priority. Schedule the block to be not to be on. Here’s a Pro Tip: Think Small on Weeknights and Think Large on Weekends. Find something small you can do each night for downtime to give you some needed mental rest. Then hit is large and really do it big on the weekends when you have larger blocks of time.

2. Be Prepared For It -This is the WHAT will happen in Downtime. It may require set up. You may need to do some research, order tickets or items. You also need to go into Downtime realizing it will take awhile to get into true Downtime.

3. Look Forward To It – Nothing beats anticipation to build excitement. Kids are GREAT at this one. And when you look forward to something, you’re also less likely to delay or cancel.

In the End…

Downtime may be foreign to you right now in your life. Don’t give up on the concept even if you’re already begging for more time in every area of your life.

Remember, you need more energy NOT more time.

And taking Downtime is exactly you need to regain your energy and hence part of the Energy Cycle.

Find the time to be not always to be on and leverage this gift of feeling refreshed. If you search, you’ll find the hidden power of downtime and be amazed you existed this long without it. Try me.

10 Simple Ways to Wreck a Good Night of Sleep

Sleep. So many of us have a love / hate relationship with sleep. To some, it’s something you have to do not want to do and yet to others they seem to sleep their life away.

Ironically, it’s the one thing we do everyday more than about anything else except work. Yet most of us are really bad at it.

Seriously, how do you suck at sleep?

As a confession up front, I was an over-achiever who had a knack at stealing precious sleep hours so these 10 simple ways to wreck a good night of sleep come from a doctorate level of personal experience.

How many of them are true of you? (By the way, more is NOT better for you over-achievers).

Are you ready?

10 Simple Ways to Wreck a Good Night of Sleep

Don’t Value Sleep

Make sleep a necessary evil. Do it only when you absolutely have to.

Just get to it when you get to it.

Ironically, we would never say we don’t value sleep but our actions or our sleep proves otherwise.

The truth is you know to make sleep a priority. It’s just a matter of doing it.

High quality sleep fortifies your immune system, balances your hormones, boosts your metabolism, increases your physical energy, and improves the function of your brain.

Holy Shut-eye. Batman, that’s a lot of benefits!

But sleep must matter to you. It has become a bigger deal in your life to move your energy needle.

Don’t fall for the lie that you can gain more time by stealing from sleep.

Research shows that after just 24 hours of sleep deprivation, there is an overall reduction of 6% in glucose reaching the brain. Simple translation: you get dumber.

This is also why you crave candy, chips, doughnuts, and other starchy, sugary things when you’re tired. Your body is trying to compel you to get that glucose back to your brain as soon as possible.

Have you ever made a poor decision late at night and wouldn’t have made normally. You ask yourself, what was I thinking?

When you’re sleep deprived, you’re setting up what Shawn Stevenson calls a “steel cage match between your willpower and your biology.”

The deck is stacked against you.

START HERE:
You think you need more time when you actually need more energy and that starts with sleep. If I’m rested, I’m more likely to make better eating choices, workout, and feel better about my day. So, start by making it a priority and applying as many of these ideas.

2. Give Me Light and Make Me Warm

After all, light before bed and while I sleep doesn’t matter. It sure hasn’t so far, right?

In fact, you may be so tired that you fall asleep with the lights on.

Actually, you’re in the dark on this one.

Sleeping in complete darkness is so significant that nighttime light has been called “light pollution” and refers to any adverse effects of artificial light.

One of the most devastating impacts of this light pollution is its effect on the production of melatonin.

Studies show that exposure to room light during sleep hours surprises melatonin levels by more than 50%.

And a Harvard Medical School study found that exposure to light at night throws the body’s biological clock out of whack. Again, not good.

The truth is we need a blackout to optimize our sleep.

Secondly, Make Me Warm!

Most people are completely unaware of how temperate effects our sleep.

When it’s time for your body to rest, there’s an automatic drop in your core body temperature to help initiate sleep. If the temperature in your environment stays too high, then it can a challenge for you body to get into the ideal state for restful sleep.

Now, just because you’re sleeping, doesn’t mean the quality of your sleep is great.

Studies show the optimal temperature range for sleep is between 60-68 degrees.

The truth is you need a much lower temperature in the house or at least your room than you realize.

START HERE:

dark the room out – curtains / alarm clocks
start slowly dropping the temperature in your house / room at night

3. Work from a Screen or Watch a Screen Right Up to Bed

Be on your computer, phone, tablet or watch TV and you’re killing this one.

And if you want extra points, do them all at the same time.

This will guarantee you jack up your sleep.

This was totally me. I was constantly up late, TV on, working on my computer, stadium lights (violating #2) on right up to bed. Then wondered why I couldn’t fall asleep right away and my quality of sleep was horrible.

Why does it matter if you’re on a screen or not before bed?

There is an artificial blue light emitted by electronic screens that triggers your body to produce more daytime hormones and disorients your body’s natural preparation for sleep. You don’t even realize how these blue wavelengths affects your sleep let alone keep your mind active. This one change made a huge different for me. Tough but worth it.

STAT:
Mariana Figueiro, PhD of the Lighting Research Center at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY and her team showed that just 2 hours of computer screen time before bed was enough to significantly suppress people’s nighttime release of melatonin. When your melatonin secretion is thrown off, it will intrinsically throw off your normal sleep time. And continual use could lead to chronic disruption of circadian rhythms. And this could increase your odds of serious health issues.

Why is this hard? Dopamine is extracted as we search and seek, and find “that next thing”. It gives us a mini high and keeps us alert and dopamine is tied to motivation and alertness. Not good.

We need serotonin which is tied to contentment and relaxation.

Cutting back on your screen time at night is likely the number one thing you can do to improve the quality of your sleep immediately.

START HERE:
Your body and mind need to prepare for sleep and this one step could possibly be the number one thing you can do to improve your sleep quality immediately. Start by unplugging incrementally by 15 minutes, then 30, 45, and eventually 60 minutes and see how much better you sleep.

4. Take the Cinema, Office, and Library Into Your Bedroom

Having a TV in your room is ideal because then you can get interested in that one show that you have to watch that you only found my surfing the guide.

And for extra bonus points, fall asleep with the tv on. Guaranteed sleep wrecker.

Feel free to bring in your computer to get some work done, return some emails, and get lost into some social media and you’re killing this one. Literally.

My bedroom looked more like a combination of Best Buy and Barnes N Noble. SO many distractions that were just too much for me and as a result, I gave in. Every night.

The truth is you need to reserve your bedroom for sleeping and sex only.

Move the tv downstairs, work in your office, and read anywhere else. If you do choose to read, keep the light low along with the reading not to engage the mind. The point here is to have your bedroom a distraction free zone to get it on or get to sleep!

START HERE:
Your mind needs to know the moment you walk into your bedroom, it’s changing gears. Start training your body that when you enter your bedroom, it’s go tine (one way or the other) and hopefully with a buy one, get one free if you know what I mean!)

5. Sleep Random Amounts Every Single Night

Make sure you are as inconsistent as possible. 6 hours one night. 8 hours one night. 5 hours another night.

If you find yourself with two nights of consistency, this should scare you.

The truth is you need to go old school on your bed time.

Old School eh?

Renowned neurologist, Kulreet Chadhary, MD says, “Timing your sleep is like timing an investment in the stock market – it doesn’t mater how much you invest, it matters when you invest.”

In order for you to get your ideal hours of sleep, you need to get your body on a schedule to get to bed at a preset time as often as possible. When you line your body up with its natural secretion of hormone, your sleep benefits dramatically increase as well. Money sleep time is between 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. so the more you get rest during that window, serious bonus points. You actually feel more rested from sleep during that time. This will also allow your body’s circadian rhythm to get back on track.

According to the book Sleep Smarter, around 10pm, your body goes through a transformation following the natural rise in melatonin. The purpose of this transformation is to increase internal metabolic energy to repair, strengthen, and rejuvenate your body. If you’re asleep as normal during this phase, all is well. However, if you’re up when 10:00 p.m. hits, that incase in metabolic energy can be experienced as a “Second Wind.”

Terry Cralle, in the book, Sleeping Your Way to the Top, talks about a sleep window to go to bed every single night and have your body begin to prepare for that CONSISTENT window.

START HERE:
Schedule it. Set a time (or a short window) and dude, stick to it! Set an alarm for bed time just like you do to get up. Then begin increasing that time by 15 minutes until you feel rested.

6. Do Whatever You Feel Like Close to Bed Time

Eat late, house lights on everywhere in the house. And if you can, watch something then plop into bed.

And the reality is most of simply don’t make any correlation between our activity before bed and why we can’t sleep. Imagine that.

I was SO guilty of this one. I had no consistency except being inconsistent added on with stimulus overload, then wondered why I couldn’t fall asleep. Thank you Captain Obvious.

The truth is we need an evening bed time routine to prepare our bodies to sleep.

Once you know your ideal bedtime, you can back up what is required in your evening.

The idea is setting a routine that will allow your body AND your mind to transition to sleep.

But most of us just stop working or turn off the tv, fall into bed, and wonder why we’re not sleeping with our mind still racing.

Choose to do something, anything but watch a screen. Your body and mind can be trained and need to have consistency to prepare for its recharge and repair time.

START HERE:
Start by choosing activities that prepare you for bed: planning for tomorrow, turning down lights, putting things away from today and out for tomorrow, putting on your bed clothes (whatever THAT may be), brushing your teeth, etc. Anything that can become a routine to get you to prepare your body and mind for sleep.

7. Have Caffeine Whenever You Want Since It Doesn’t Affect Your Sleep

Most people actually believe that caffeine consumption even late in the day or before bed doesn’t affect their sleep.

One reason is because they drink caffeine ALL the time.

Another reason is they don’t know what sleep is like WITHOUT caffeine in their system.

The study gave participants caffeine at three different times:

Immediately before bed
3 hours before bed
6 hours before bed

And do you know what the results showed? ALL showed measurable disruptions in their sleep.

I used to be a Mountain Dew addict and would have it before bed along with something salty. Little did I know what this caffeine was doing to my sleep.

The truth is many of us need to check into caffeine rehab.

START HERE:
Have a caffeine curfew. Limit caffeine in your system at least from dinner on with the ultimate goal of six hours before bed. Why? Because caffeine stays in your system at least that long and will linger to affect you in negative ways. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

8. Have a Night Cap Drink or Three

Nothing beats a little sauce close to bed time. After all, it usually knocks me right out so it has to be good for my sleep, right?

The truth is alcohol may make you sleepy and knock you out quickly but the quality of your sleep is dramatically affected.

Quality of overall sleep is more important than falling asleep quickly or that “one more drink” mindset.

This is hard for many people especially business travelers. I claimed it was “part of the job” but between us girls, I leveraged this as an excuse to extend it further into the evening that was truly necessary “for business sake.”

START HERE:
Start with limiting or eliminating alcohol after dinner. I’m all for a glass or two of wine with dinner, but then step away from the bottle (and of course not every night! – note to self). Be aware of the true affect alcohol plays in your actual rest. Three hours before bed is a good rule. Another role is one glass of water with one alcoholic drink.

9. Move as Little As Possible Throughout the Day

Sit sit sit. Get up late so you don’t workout. Sit in your commute, during lunch, at your desk all day, commute home, dinner, and definitely in front of the tv.

The truth is there is a direct correlation between being active and sleeping quickly and soundly. You gotta move, man!

The more you move, the more your body wants and needs restorative sleep.

A 55% improvement in sleep onset latency (they fell asleep faster)
A 30% decrease in the total wake tie during the test
An 18% increase in total sleep time during the test
A 13% increase in sleep efficiency (improved the quality of their sleep)

All this from exercise. Not sleeping pills, alcohol, rubbing a magic sleep lamp but exercise.

If you workout, this is Go Time for your body to repair itself and transform the way you want it too. But even more walking and movement will help.

The earlier you workout the better, but movement and exercise is still king for a killer night of sleep. You will fall asleep fast and improve the quality of sleep the more you up your game and move!

START HERE:
Start by doing whatever you can to add more movement into your say. Stand when you can. Park further away. Take the stairs. Add push-ups or jumping jacks. Anything! Ideally, balance between cardio and strength training and your sleep will dramatically improve!

10. Use Your Bedroom For Everything Else BUT Sleep

Clutter it up, man. Have clothes hanging on the treadmill, laundry baskets out, make it to be just another room. Another office. Another living room with a tv.

To quote the book, Sleep Smarter, “the environment you create in your bedroom, and the things you do in your bedroom, can have a significant impact on the quality of sleep you get.”

When you walk into your bedroom, parts of your brain might light up expecting to watch television, break out the laptop and knock out some emails, get a quick last hit of social media, etc.

Another suggestion is have sheets that are crusty and smell like you. Or take it a step further, a mattress that is older than most of your kids. You know, the one that formed around your body, years ago and still holds that shape.

The truth is we need to create a sleep palace that is inviting for us.

If you’re not sleeping well, going to bed is hard enough. Creating an environment that you want to be in is a quick fix.

There are so many other suggestions here we’ll dive into in greater detail in another episode but here are some quick hits:

Darken the room
Cool the room

START HERE:
Start simple with removing the clutter. Make it to be a place you want to be not have to be at the end of the day. Then remove the distractions. What will keep you from sleeping? – TV, computer, phone, etc.

Closing Thoughts…

Just how many of the 10 are reflective of you?

In the end, it’s easier than you think to wreck your sleep.

Now, the challenge is to apply the start here suggestions and make some necessary changes to improve your sleep and watch your waking hours dramatically improve for the better.

So, what now? Here are two suggestions:

Choose one of the ten to change tonight – something was obvious and stood out to you big time – change it tonight
Raise your awareness – you may not realize you’re doing some of the other ones- take note and change thy ways!

I challenge you to really focus on what could be wrecking your sleep and begin to make adjustments to gain an energy edge in your work and home life. Sleep on it.

Two Additional Free Resources:

Check out 5 Minute Energy Kickstart .com, three five minute videos to help you be more productive, feel more energized, and do your best work. The 1st of the three videos is a focus on sleep.
There is an audio version of this post and can be found on The Energy Edge Podcast episode 023: www.EnergyEdgePodcast.com/023

Go and get your Energy Edge on today.