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Five Lies About Business Travel

Business travel has many misconceptions. Someone who lives in the 9-to-5 office world truly does not understand our world. At all.

They have the essence of routine, consistency, and predictable-ness. Every single day.

Almost the exact opposite of a business traveler. And we like it that way.

Then there are family and friends who think we’re continually on vacation and we “have the life.”

Although they may think this is the case, whether we realize it or not, there are realities about business travel that are just not true.

Two specific groups of people within our inner circle of business travel, need to know the truth:

  1. Future business travelers – whether you’re in a company that is grooming you to travel or you want to switch jobs or even careers to begin to travel for work
  2. Leaders of business travelers – those that oversee and influence the work life of a road warrior

Why these two specific groups?

It’s because perception becomes reality and truth oftentimes just must be shared to expose the lie.

I’ve uncovered five specific lies I want to expose especially for future business travelers and those who lead business travelers. Each lie will also have a pushback, the truth, and an elite tip.

Five Lies About Business Travel

Lie #1 – Business Travel is a luxurious life

This is the one I hear all the time from friends and family. When someone meets me for the 1st time or hasn’t seen me in a while, they usually ask about all my “cool adventures.” Aka: tell me about your luxurious work life.

Here’s the Pushback – When someone hears you travel for work, they think or even say, “That’s awesome. You get to fly to cool cities, stay in really nice hotels, eat out at restaurants all the time, and get served. And you’re by yourself. That’s the life! I would do anything for your life.”

Does business travel offer some great perks? Of course. But like anything, too much of a good thing, or anything for that matter, grows old and loses its luster. The same is true with business travel. Just ask a road warrior who’s been at it for a while.

We’re not going on a vacation with a stress-free flight to an exotic place. We’re going to work, man. I’m in a suit, not shorts and flip-flops.

Hotels begin to look the same. The food begins to taste the same.

The outsider, whether an office-only co-worker or friends/family just doesn’t see what we know as “traveler friction” – delayed flights, canceled meetings, endless traffic, late nights with people we don’t really like. And on and on and on.

Truth: Business travel is a vocation not a vacation with different expectations and needed results.

Elite Tip: Find something to look forward to “doing or seeing” on every single trip:

  • Go to a ballgame
  • Visit a cool site in the city
  • Eat at a local favorite restaurant

In Elite Road Warrior lingo, we call this Downtime – time to be, not to be on. You need downtime to allow yourself to unwind so you can perform at your best. If I’m by the ocean, I always see a sunset. If I’m in a town I’ve never visited, I always see the sites. If they have a sports team, I must see a game. If they’re known for a certain style of food, I find that premier restaurant. You get the point.

Business travel is not a luxurious life but it doesn’t have to be a boring life either and if we play it right, the road can bring us the energy to perform at an elite level.

Lie #2 – It’s hard to eat healthy on the road

At first, this lie is very easy to believe.

For too many years, I believed, supported, and defended this lie. I flew by the Travel 20 to the Entitled 40… pounds that is, when in reality, I simply had no food boundaries and literally had the weight to prove it. I didn’t pass up on any of the king’s food or miss any of the king’s wine. So, of course, I said it was hard to eat healthy on the road.

Here’s the Pushback – Many of my meals I don’t actually choose the food (meaning the client provides lunch or chooses the dinner location).

This is a generalization and, again, I get it since it used to be me. It’s true, this happens, but sometimes, most of the time I have choices. And even if the client provides the lunch or chooses the dinner location, there are still healthier options.

Truth: Eating healthy is a proactive decision, not a reactive determination.

You can influence the client far more than you realize. Often, they’re uncertain what to choose in the first place. I’m often very clear that I eat on the healthier side. And I never let them determine “what is healthy for me.” I’ll give them examples of a grilled chicken dark green salad for lunch or steak or seafood with veggies for dinner.

I also realize there are often limited options at the airport. I get that but don’t rely on the airport for your nutrition.

Elite Tip: Do your intel at an airport. For example, as I’m walking out of the airport from the gate after landing, I’m looking around at all my food options but not for right now. But for when? My return flight home so I know if I can eat at this airport or I need to prepare in advance to eat somewhere else.

Elite Road Warrior teaches four words that should be your guide on eating healthy on the road: Make the Healthiest Choice.

Not the easiest choice, or the quickest choice, or the largest choice, or the tastiest choice but make the healthiest choice. It can be done if eating healthy is a proactive decision, not a reactive determination.

 

Lie #3- I have no control of my time on the road

This lie is a sneaky one because we subtly learn to be reactive on business travel. We watch others. We see our co-workers, bosses, fellow road warriors.

We do things in the moment. We’re just not trained how to do Road Life.

Every company I’ve ever worked for did a good or great job training me on the product or service but when it came to how to do road life and how to manage my time and energy on the road, it happened only… NEVER!

The road is a completely different animal that is a developed, learned skill to know when and how to work in the margins so you’re not working all the time which leads to burnout and inconsistent results.

Here’s the Pushback – I’m not in charge of my schedule. You don’t know how many meetings I have or what’s required of me on every single trip. I work every second I can on the road.

I hear you on that one and have been “that guy” before for way too long.

Truth: You have far more control of your time and results than you realize.

Once I started taking personal responsibility for MY time and MY energy, everything began to change. I didn’t wait for my company to train and teach me because in my case, it never would’ve happened. In fact, this is the very reason I created the Elite Road Warrior Group! I want to train business travelers, like you, how to make the most of the road.

Elite Tip: Intentionally put up Road Blocks every day of your business trip. Huh? I thought Road Blocks were a bad thing. Not if you use them properly.

A Road Block is a barrier around something to get work done. In this context, you want as many Road Blocks on the road as you can get in your day!

You need to schedule blocks of time to focus on one specific task (email, phone calls, quotes, data entry, presentations, etc) for a set period of time so you can get consistent results.

When you schedule Road Blocks and focus, you’ll be amazed at how much you can get done in this set window of time and you’ll have more time than you think on the road. It’s the work smarter not harder principle.

Energy Habit Four is Perform and goes into a ton of detail about how to perform at an elite level. The book, Elite Road Warrior goes into far more detail so pick up the physical, digital, or audio version today.

Lie #4 – My family is not affected when I’m on the road

This lie gets personal quick and can easily get exposed by a handful of inquiry questions.

A few questions can expose just how any given road warrior views “life back home” while on the road.

Or to put it another way: “Says the man who leaves his wife or significant other to take care of everything back home including YOUR kids!”

Disclaimer: Women don’t fall for this lie at all in fact they actually feel the stress of home on the road worrying if things back home are going as planned.

For the rest of us, do you know who is really affected?

  • Your spouse who is left to take care of everything on their own
  • Your kids who now have to rely on just one parent

Here’s the Pushback – Well, they’ve never said anything or they don’t know anything different because I’ve always traveled.

Truth: Your family needs you to be present on the road just as you are at home but leverage the time in a different way.

Energy Habit Six is called Connect and it focuses on leveraging your time on the road to connect with those you love back home in intentional, thoughtful, and creative ways.

This means leveraging the road to continue to be present in ways you wouldn’t normally do at home and end up making an impact on them.

Even though I’m not physically there with my family, I can still be visually and audibly present.

There was a stretch that my travel was so heavy and it brought on so much stress with my wife and kids. It was brutal on my marriage and my relationship with my kids, especially the younger ones.

I finally heard my wife say “something’s gotta change” (words you never want to hear) and realized she had been giving me clues all along. I just wasn’t listening and noticing.

As a result, I vowed to “change my ways” but realized I need to be patient, purposeful and planned.

Elite Tip: three tangible “change my ways” products to help you stay connected with your family on the road…

  • Not Forgotten Journal – learning to take just two minutes to write something to my wife each day in a journal I would one day give to her
  • Flat Kiddos – colored characters that I take pictures of in my world
  • Connect Cards – creative cards made by kids for kids that I leave and send to my kids writing meaningful words

I challenge you to stop denying that your family is not affected and to make connecting a huge priority.

 

Lie #5 – There are no temptations with business travel

We’re all wired differently from our interests to our style to our preferences to our attractions.

For those who don’t travel and are put in a place where temptation can appear, they can easily assume and even judge that it would never happen to them.

Here’s the Pushback – I’ve handled being put in a tempting position before and would be strong again

But do you know what changes? Being potentially thousands of miles from home and nobody may ever know.

Episode 085 and the article from two weeks ago discusses the dark side of business travel because it’s real, scary, and dangerous. We discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

  • There are food temptations / drink temptations / sexual temptations on the road
  • We have endless opportunities to experiment that can lead to new road habits that can lead to hidden addictions
  • We can even be put into moral decisions we thought ever thought we would be put in and respond in ways we may regret the rest of our lives

Truth: You can have integrity on the road when you’re aware of the temptations and have boundaries.

Elite Tip: Two Powerful Words: Know Thyself

The phrase came from the teachings of Socrates and popularized by Plato. It was the first of three maxims inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. The two maxims that followed “know thyself” were “nothing to excess” and “surety brings ruin”.

The 2nd phrase is applicable here too: nothing to excess.

Know Thyself means to recognize how human I really am and the right place meeting the right circumstances can take me down. So, let me get personal: I know I have an addictive personality. I’m a risk-taker and too easily push boundaries.

As a result, I MUST be very cautious on the road to not compromise my integrity, reputation, and family. I’m old enough to know the difference between short-term pleasure and long-term regret but must never believe the lie there are no temptations that can affect me on business travel.

Awareness on the road is key. My hope is this article was revealing, challenging, and a reminder of how easy we can fall into lies that can affect so many aspects of our road results and ultimately our lives.

Leverage….. to help you become and remain an Elite Road Warrior today to eliminate burnout and exceed results.

You Got This!

Four High-End Sleep Aids for Business Travel

When I first started as a business traveler, the hotel was my escape.

I loved two specific aspects or gifts if you will:

  1. Solitude – nobody but me
  2. Silence – any noise came from me

I stayed up late watching whatever I wanted and oh I did.

I also created a bad habit of not sleeping well in a hotel or so I thought. This was self-imposed because if the evening was my own, I would eat dinner with my laptop lover, bring her up to my room for a nightcap. I would turn on the TV, iPad, had my phone on – any screen all the time.

Then I would have the room lights on until way too late.

Hmmm… shocking I was not able to sleep between all the stimulus, lights, adult beverages, etc.

But once I crashed a few years ago physically, I had had had to learn how to redo life in general then transfer it to the road.

My first adjustment was influenced by one of the authors of the book (and my favorite title ever) Sleeping Your Way to the Top by Terry Cralle.

She taught me I needed to focus first on the quality of my sleep before I ever worked on the quality of my sleep. This was GREAT news for someone who didn’t sleep that much or that well.

In the Elite Road Warrior Group we call this concept: IMPROVE Then INCREASE.

So, I began to look for tools, gadgets, hacks, resources that could help me improve my sleep first.

Some were small, inexpensive tweaks that all worked and I still use today.

But the longer I’ve been on the road, my gadgets’ costs and importance have increased. Now, I’m cautious with my money, and although not afraid to spend it on worthwhile products and services, I always did my homework and research sometimes to a fault.

As a result, I found there are a few key sleep aids that I’ve come to rely on big time on the road. These four are in the order I use them on any given evening on the road not necessarily order of importance.

Three of the items are one-time purchases and the 4th is an annual subscription.

Four High-End Sleep Aids for Business Travel

One – Blue Blocker Glasses

The research is overwhelming now on the effects of the blue light that emits from our screens whether a TV, phone, or tablet.

Doubt me? Drive through your street in the evening and see a window that has a TV on and watch that room glow with light – blue light. More proof? If you have an iPhone or iPad, put on Night Shift or Android to Night Mode or Night Light to very warm, and you’ll see the change in color hue big time.

Now, I’m not so hardcore that I don’t have the TV on in the evening or my computer screen or phone. I’ve dramatically improved since my days of old in my quest to become an elite road warrior.

So, the 1st of the high-end sleep aids for business travel became quality blue blocker glasses. I started with inexpensive blue blocker glasses from Amazon and it was just that, a start. But once I got the quality blue blocker glasses: game-changer. It was such a noticeable difference and worth the price.

Personally, I use The Swanwick brand called Swannies and on Amazon they are $69. You can also purchase straight from the Swanwick site here.

When do I use them?

When I’m in my hotel room for the night, I have an evening routine where I do the following:

  • Turn the room temperature down (66-68°)
  • Turn the room lights down
  • Change into comfortable clothes (I’m an UnderArmor/Hurley guy)
  • Put on my blue blocker glasses

Now, whatever I do the rest of the evening in my room from work on my computer, have the game on the tv, or watch a show on my iPad, my glasses are blocking the blue light emitted from the screen.

What if you have a blue blocker already set on your screens? Great! Double it up. Try it and you’ll notice the difference.

I challenge you to do something, anything, just not nothing with Sleep Aid 1: blue blocker glasses. Start inexpensive and work your way up or learn from me and just make the investment of the high-end glasses upfront.

Either way, begin implementing this tool to improve your sleep.

Remember, IMPROVE than INCREASE your sleep.

Two – Dep Sleepwear Hoodie

There are comfy clothes for bed and then there’s next level wear that is designed to enhance your sleep.

I do everything I can in my room to block out any light at all and literally GO DARK in my hotel room.

But often, no matter what I try with my hacks for the curtains with BYOC (bring your own clips) or packing electrical tape in my Sleep Kit (episode 035), oftentimes, the light just finds a way in the room.

I was searching for a solution and met the founder of Dep Sleepwear, Glenn Paradise at the Sleep Show sponsored by the National Sleep Foundation.

I loved hearing the back story of how Glenn came down with the flu and his body temperature was all over the place not to mention struggling to sleep during the day with the light. So, he solved his own problem and created a product that regulates temperature with compression fitting wear that has both a hood and an eye mask that is inside of the hood.

Brilliant!

I just had to try it and was hooked on the first night in my hotel room.

Since it could help me IMPROVE my sleep, I was in and loved trying this experiment.

So, once I turn the corner and get ready for bed, I do the following:

  • Brush my teeth
  • Wash my face
  • Plug in all my devices to charge
  • Put on my Dep Sleepwear hoodie

This seemingly remedial routine is a trigger for me and cues my body it’s time to “shutter down”.

The hoodie comes in male and female versions along with compression and loose fit.

If I forget my Dep Sleepwear hoodie, I instantly know it and of course, it’s my 4 or 5 day trip for the week.

Rookie mistake.

The founder and I are working on creating an Elite Road Warrior branded Dep Sleepwear version so keep an eye out by checking out the store at EliteRoadWarrior.com for this and other Elite Road Warrior Products to help you implement the six energy habits.

The cost is $99 at the Dep Sleepwear website.

This product will be a must for you once you experience it and it’s worth every penny if you’re serious about IMPROVING your sleep.

Three – 10% Happier Meditation App

I was one of the biggest skeptics of meditation. I had every excuse for why it wouldn’t work for me and if you remember the quote I put in the Elite Road Warrior book,

If you want to do something you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. –  Jim Rohn

I didn’t want to and therefore had an excuse. The reality is I didn’t know how or really understand the benefits so therefore we don’t try what we don’t understand.

But after listening to the audiobook, Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics by Dan Harris, I gave it a shot and learned to translate it to the road.

“Getting my Road Tate On” is what I call it now.

So, when and how do I incorporate meditation and bedtime? Once I put my Dep Sleepwear on, I have the room dark and I do the following:

  • Open the 10% Happier app
  • Choose a 5 or 10-minute sleep meditation
  • Try to relax and slow my body and mind down

Does this always work? Nope.

But it DRAMATICALLY increases my chances of falling asleep sooner which matters immensely to me who often has a difficult time falling asleep in a hotel room. If I’m really struggling to fall asleep and just can’t shut the thinker down, I do a second round of meditation and get my Road Sleep Tate on again and often that does the trick.

I personally prefer and endorse the 10% Happier app paid version. There are a ton of free and paid apps and I spent a ton of time researching, experimenting, and narrowing it down to 10% Happier. I like the teachers, the variety, and the interface. The paid version is $99.99 per year and around the holidays you can find it 40% off.

The point is trying meditation a few minutes before bed to just slow you down.

Four – Bose Sleepbuds

I’m a huge fan of Bose in general and traveled for years with the Bose Noise Canceling Headphones.

I had seen the initial advertisement and research on the Bose Sleepbuds but at the same Sleep Show I found Dep Sleepwear, I had a conversation with an engineer who designed the Sleepbuds. A cool conversation that did not put me to sleep. Just sayin’.

He mentioned the product target market is the business traveler and was very interested in Elite Road Warrior Group trying them out especially after his boss heard me speak later that day.

What makes Bose Sleepbuds different?

  • They actually fit in your ear and are surprisingly comfortable
  • You have numerous sounds to choose from that actually download on to the Sleepbud
  • Each sound is not a loop (like many sleep app sounds which actually disrupts your sleep)
  • They are NOISE-CANCELING which is huge in a hotel room
  • An alarm can be set to gently wake you up

Personally, I love to control the sounds in my room that don’t come from my phone at a safe distance away so the Sleepbuds are critical.

When do I use my sleep buds?

  • After my 10% Happier Sleep Tate is complete
  • I set my wake-up time alarm
  • Choose the sound that just feels right
  • Boom – put my sleep mask on from my Dep Sleepwear hood and off I go

Honorable Mention – Lavender Essential Oil

Back in a past interview, I interviewed Beckie Farrant, an essential oil expert and I admitted my skepticism of essential oils.

After being surrounded by research and hesitant personal experience, I’m a big believer in essential oils, especially for sleep.

How do I use essential oil to help me sleep?

Two ways:

  1. In the vents – Huh? Come again? Before I leave my hotel room for the evening, I put a few drops of Lavender essential oil on a cotton ball and put it in the vent. Why? So when I come back to my room, the scent is of the calming scent of Lavender and helps prepare me for bed. It’s become a routine for me now.
  2. On my feet – I use a rollerball that has a mixture of essential oil (Lavender and Serenity by DoTerra to be exact) along with fractionated coconut oil and rub it on my big toe. Why there? It’s the highest absorption spot on my entire body.

There are two options to start with Lavender:

  1. Buy a small 5ML bottle of Lavender in an introductory travel kit provided by DoTerra which also has Lemon and Peppermint. Listen to episode 020 to learn more about the benefits of Lemon and Peppermint but the cost is under $30 and lasts for many months.
    2. Buy a large 15ML bottle of Lavender on its own.

I feel using the essential oil of Lavender will help aid you in sleep on the road and can become part of your evening routine and an essential element in your Sleep Kit.

To learn more about my Sleep Kit check out episode 035.

There you have it Road Warriors, four high-end sleep aids for business travel:

Remember, the overall goal with Sleep under the REST energy habit is IMPROVE then INCREASE your sleep.

For me, I start with the blue blocker glasses to control the blue light from the screens, put on my Dep Sleepwear hoodie to control my body temperature and light with the eye mask, get my TATE on with a meditation from 10% Happier to slow my brain down, then set and fall asleep with my Bose Sleepbuds controlling my sound.

Often, sleep quality is all about the controllable:

  • Light
  • Sound
  • Temperature
  • Focus

And that is exactly why I leverage the four high-end sleep aids on the road. If you’re serious about your sleep or need to get serious, then make it a priority to invest in the four high-end sleep aids for business travel.

Go and leverage the four high-end sleep aids to become an Elite Road Warrior today.

You Got This!

Other References

Top 10 Business Travel Hacks Guide

7 Early Warning Signs for Companies to Avoid Business Travel Burnout

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side Of Business Travel

I’m going to go dark in this article so I’m warning you upfront – reader beware!

No harsh-rated language but going to hit on some very personal topics we’ve never really done a deep dive in especially for this topic so I wanted to be very clear where we’re headed.

The reason I want to cover this dark topic is that it’s so real and nobody really talks about it especially in the context of business travel. But we are right now.

I met Charles about a decade ago when my business travel days were really intensifying and I was going at an unsustainable pace.

Let me paint a picture of exactly where we were for this unexpected heart-to-heart conversation. Charles and I were sitting at a bar at a high-end restaurant attached to this incredible hotel. We were eating a steak dinner and watching the game.

Like most conversations, you jostle for conversational position until you find common ground and everything gets easier from that point on (and that’s exactly happened between the two of us).

The conversation moved from sports to work to where we lived and we hit it off. It wasn’t forced conversation and we had a lot in common which is rare for two guys especially on the road.

We also were drinking. A lot and for hours. You know, the kind of place where you open up more due to the secret sauce. And that’s exactly what it became for Charles.

Secret sauce meaning he shared secrets that were dark.

Now, when I say dark I don’t mean evil or criminal, at least in his case, I mean, nobody else knew and you can tell he was relieved to get these secrets out.

So, do you wanna know Charles’ secrets? We’ll get to that soon enough but I wanted to set the stage for where we’re headed.

I meet far more Charles’s through the decades of travel than you could possibly imagine.

I’ve learned the reason many open up to me is for the following reasons:

  1. I ask questions
  2. I listen to their answers
  3. I’m honest
  4. I try not to rush them
  5. I don’t judge
  6. I try to give hope

That’s it – simple but not easy communication and emotional intelligence skills.

As a result, I’ve found a common theme within these conversations through the years about the dark side of business travel.

Now, this is important: not a single road warrior I’ve met had any intention of ever going to the dark side of business travel. In fact, many will admit early on, they judged big time “the sins of the sinner” if you will when hearing of others bad road choices.

They told me they swore to themselves they would “never go there”…

But eventually, they became “that guy” or “that girl” which is the way it almost always works.

And I’m not here to judge because I’ve personally experienced the dark side of business travel.

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Did you catch that last line?

The caution here is listening and learning not dismissing and judging.

Every person’s situation is different on the road. Some travel in teams, others travel to a location, and are with reps almost the entire trip. Then there are those who are solo artists, completely by themselves except during their meetings, presentations, etc.

As a result, the dark side can appear differently in different situations and choices.

These choices create the opportunity for a downward spiral, meaning that once you start, it’s easy to get sucked into the spiral and keep going down and down which can tend to get darker and darker.

My hope in discussing this is that by being willing to talk about some tough subjects, we can identify potential choices we’re making right now and can make some changes before it’s too late and there are serious consequences.

So, let’s discuss the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

Let’s go back to Charles’ story. He was a sharp, good looking, athletic, and influential VP who had everything you could want: huge home, fancy cars, gorgeous wife, cute kids, and you can continue the ongoing list of wants…

Including secrets.

The more Charles talked and knew I was listening, understood, and actually cared, the more he shared.

And the reality is nobody would ever guess he would be dealing with these secrets.

It was like I become his priest that night at the hotel bar. So much pain, so much guilt and regret he was carrying inside of him on every single business trip like a half-ton carry-on suitcase.

What I learned from Charles now that I reflect years later and meeting so many other Charles’s and even Cheryls, is a common theme, thread if you will, from where they started to where they are right now.

Each of these downward spiral choices can stand alone but many are tied together in some way which you’ll see.

Five Downward Spiral Choices Into the Dark Side of Business Travel

ONE – The Choice to Become the Road Grinch

This is for the seasoned road warrior and time on the road just takes your heart three sizes down like the original grinch.

It starts for those of us who look up at the flight board or wake up in the morning in a hotel and forget what city you’re going to or in at the moment.

All the food begins to taste the same.

You just go through the motions and everything begins to annoy you.

You’ve met this guy. I seem to find him often at the airport when I’m ready to board or at the airport or hotel bar.

Everything is negative. Every aspect of the road:

  • Airport / Airline / Flight
  • Rental car or Rideshare
  • Hotel
  • The food
  • Customers

There are two specific characteristics of the Road Grinch:

  • You Become Callous

You’ve lost all capacity to care. You have little to no understanding or compassion for anything or anyone.

People are no longer human to you, only annoyances.

And research shows, dehumanizing people is a sign of business travel burnout. You’ll know this is you when you start to become numb and your feelings are a thing of the past.

  • You Become Cynical

You’re cynical of other people and seemingly all people who don’t share your view of business travel.

You’re cynical of the world. Nothing is good. Nothing is right.

Warning! It’s easy to get sucked into Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha. This is true for me especially when I’m frustrated, tired, or hungry. And I’m easy prey for Cynical Sam or Cynical Samantha if I’m all three!

Here’s the Caution: you become poison for all those around you and you don’t even know it and/or don’t even care. All the more proof you’re now the callous and cynical Road Grinch! You’re also more likely to continue the downward spiral because you just don’t care anymore.

TWO – The Choice to Experiment

This choice can be a hazard, especially for a new business traveler.

It’s amazing the opportunities to try about anything on the road depending on what city you’re in, who you’re with, and if you’re looking for a stress release.

It’s like we’re back in high school easily giving in to peer pressure or we’re invincible once again. Remember those days of old?

But now, after all, we are Road WARRIORS, right?!

This one is a challenge because the company card can definitely become an encourager or an enabler. After all, it’s not YOUR money! Or someone offers to treat you. Can’t offend them now.

  • You’re with co-workers or a client who smokes and you try it or pick smoking back up when you gave it up years ago
  • You’re in Vegas for work and you try gambling
  • You try this beer, then this type of wine, then this liquor

Warning! This is where you easily become “that guy” or “that girl” who got drunk at the corporate event or customer dinner. Or pushed it too far and now you become the story you regret and can never seem to live down. I’ve seen too many a rookie road warrior learn the hard way when choosing to experiment.

Here’s the Caution: Experimenting in and of itself isn’t wrong. It’s good to try new things depending on what the new things are of course and the potential consequences. Just realize where this could lead.

THREE – The Choice to Develop Bad Habits

Now we’re taking the opportunity to experiment and making it darker.

What used to be a simple experiment has now become part of your road routine:

  • The occasional DRINK becomes I gotta have my drink
  • The occasional SMOKE becomes I’m now taking regular smoke breaks every day, multiple times a day
  • The occasional GAMBLE just because it was in front of me now becomes gambling on anything and everything
  • The occasional curiosity with PORN becomes your new road thing every night before bed

I’ve found that many a road warrior who is a closet drinker, smoker, gambler, and porn viewer has a much bigger problem on their hands and they’re officially deep into the dark side of business travel.

The challenge is we don’t personally see when our experiment becomes our vice. Others do but we don’t. And if they have the courage to bring it up, what’s the proof that it’s an issue and habit? We get defensive and downplay our bad habits.

Warning! Bad habits are enabled on the road due to the availability, temptation, and seclusion.

Caution: Learning to ask if our habits are bringing us energy or simply a stress release. This is a hard question and requires honesty on our motives but separates existing road warriors from elite road warriors.

FOUR – The Choice to Feed Addictions

The downward spiral continues from the experiment (or just picking up again what you tried or did years ago) to a road habit to a full-blown addiction.

You’ve fed this tiny little experimental puppy and now it’s a trained killer dog who will defend himself to the death and do anything to get what he wants.

  • I HAVE to find cigarettes.
  • I GOTTA have a drink and now.
  • I’m VIEWING porn all the time.

And the road is a perfect place for two things:

  • Developing and feeding that addiction
  • Hiding that addiction

I’m not an addiction specialist by any means, but I notice others are walking a fine line between a bad habit that is close to or full-on addiction.

It alters their entire business trip. They “have to have it” and need to “stop now to get it” no matter how it affects you or your business results.

I have literally witnessed guys viewing porn on their phones at the airport gate.

I’ve cleaned up messes from others whose addiction reared its ugly head on business trips.

Of course, they have absolutely no clue how much control this “said addiction” has on them and their full-time job has become the role of a defense attorney.

Not a fan of newly-developed Denny Defense.

Warning! This is a scary place to be and often, a road warrior never wants or can leave the road because the road enables their addiction although they rarely admit it.

Here’s the Caution: Steer clear of the addict on the road unless it’s you and then get help before it has serious consequences for you.

FIVE – The Choice to Make Bad Moral Decisions

This one can be subjective depending upon your values. I hear often how road warriors will justify their moral decisions. Basically put, their convincing themselves what they want and are planning to do is okay so they can move forward with their actions.

I hear all too often from many a road warrior, “I only do this (insert dark side behavior) on the road.” And that somehow makes it right?!

Again, I’m not the judge but you can often and quickly tell when someone is telling this story if they’re trying to convince you while they’re still trying to convince themselves.

The biggest dark side of business travel moral decision I hear is:

  • Cheating on a spouse or significant other

This could be with a co-worker, road mistress, one-night stand.

This may be a one-time action or the start of a relationship.

  • This could be strip clubs when it’s against your morals or would dishonor a spouse or significant other
  • This could be massage parlors (full body if you know what I mean)
  • This could be prostitutes
  • Risky behavior that can have serious relational and even criminal consequences

But it doesn’t stop just there. Another choice could be driving under the influence. We would seemingly never do it at home but on the road, we seem to justify this decision.

And I get it, in the past, I’ve put myself in that same foolish decision before assuming I could do a risk analysis after two double vodka tonics and a bottle of wine.

The point here is not the debate of what is a moral decision or not, although I personally believe if you’re a Christian and follower of Christ, those answers are crystal clear. The point is we all have a moral compass that can get tested and we know if we should cross it or if we’re coming close to crossing it.

Again, they’re easy to justify at the moment:

  • I was okay to drive and nothing happened.
  • I didn’t touch.
  • It was only a kiss.
  • Clothes were still on.
  • We didn’t go ALL the way.
  • It was a one-night stand and it will never happen again.
  • My wife would be fine with it (although she doesn’t exactly know)

Let’s circle back to Charles’ story… he became so successful, so empowered, and so isolated, nobody dared question him or his expense reports. He knew how to play the game and justify anything. “It was for the customer, the client really wanted to try this or do this…” (of course it was almost always Charles’ idea).

Charles started his downward spiral with experimenting, which led to habits, which led to addiction, which led to bad moral decisions. He became callous, cynical, and eventually reckless yet you would never know it on the outside.

Charles had all five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel.

But here’s the irony: what you saw on the outside was only half of the story. Charles was also on his 2nd marriage, unhappy, and addicted to porn. He was estranged from his kids and had so many regrets.

He claimed he was up working late but couldn’t stop scrolling porn sites which led to other risky behavior such as massages and prostitutes.

But all we saw on the outside if Charles was the essence of success. Or so we thought…

Warning! The power of freedom and the power of choice on the road is a fast track to the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and Charles is living proof.

We all want to become like him in his success but no clue of the cost of his success and his hidden dark side of failures.

Here’s the Caution: Bad moral decisions are absolutely devastating to the road warrior. There is increased opportunity for regret due to isolation as a road warrior and we must understand the environment of the road.

Let me leave you with one question and one word:

One Word: Integrity

Our integrity matters no matter where we are but especially on the road.

The road has so many great opportunities and gifts but with the good lies the opportunity for bad and we need to be aware of the downward spirals that can lead us into the dark side of business travel and this is when your integrity matters the most.

One Question: Someone may never know of your choices but what does a secret do to our heart/soul?

It absolutely haunted Charles and I will never forget that night as he poured out his heart and soul with the secrets of his lack of integrity.

It is possible to live a life of integrity on the road and I challenge you to do it.

  • Know when you’re becoming a Road Grinch who is callous and cynical.
  • Know when an experiment should end.
  • Know when you’re developing bad habits.
  • Know when your bad habit owns you and you’re addicted.
  • Know when you’re facing a bad moral decision.

And choose integrity on the road. Protect your heart and soul to become an elite road warrior.

This was challenging due to the darkness the road can create in the life of a road warrior. My hope is the content was both enlightening and challenging. This just may be one of those articles you remember when you’re in the midst of one of the five downward spiral choices into the dark side of business travel and you respond in a positive way in that moment.

The three focus areas of Elite Road Warrior Group come into play once again:

  • Work – we leverage business travel for these downward spiral choices
  • Health – we could compromise our own health for these downward spiral choices
  • Home Life – we could damage and devastate those we love back home with these downward spiral choices whether they ever find out or not

Action Items:

  1. Be honest with yourself and own up to your dark side
  2. Find someone to tell (close friend/counselor)
  3. Know Thyself – put boundaries in place on the road and have someone hold you accountable.

I don’t want to leave you hanging, so tune into my next podcast, where I will be interviewing with psychologist Dr. Nick Howard. Make sure you catch that episode to hear from a professional and subject matter expert on what to do if you’re heading into or already in the dark side of business travel.

You Got This!

How One Creative Idea Connected Me With My Kids Back Home

You may have heard a little bit about my story and my family. The Buckley Kiddos (there are 5 of them) never chose to have their father as a business traveler, but it’s the hand they’ve been dealt with at least right now.

Early on, I didn’t put much thought into my contact with my family when I was on the road. Compared to everyone else, some business trips I did better than other trips and justified my contact because it was more than the average business traveler.

But when did I ever care about comparing myself to THAT GUY?! I came to a point where I felt the lack of engagement with my family especially with my kids because I was traveling so much.

I was uncovering my “WHY” I wanted to connect more back home.

The WHY gets me to do things when I don’t always feel like it, especially when I’ve had a busy and long day on the road.

I created the Flat Kiddos Concept. It’s a way for me to connect with my kids when I’m not at home. Take a look at them at the Elite Road Warrior website here.

 

One of my biggest challenges as a father on the road is staying connected with my kids in very intentional, thoughtful, and creative ways in general let alone on a consistent basis. I would take pictures of my locations, but it was more about “Dad’s cool hotel or rental car” and how they weren’t a part of my trip.

But then I asked myself, “what if I could theoretically take my kids with me in a creative way? You can now with Flat Kiddos. These are 9×6 inch characters that are on thick poster board for durability.
I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and now they can’t wait to see their picture on my next trip. This gives the opportunity for the Flat Kiddos to be seen in Dad’s World and how the kids are now involved.

Why I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

The “why” is critically important and far more important than the “how”.

For far too long on the road, I was what I called a Check-In Guy. This guy “checked in” when it was convenient for me only.

I had a gift of calling at all the wrong times:

  • Dinner time
  • Bedtime
  • Kids at practice

I sent the occasional check-in update text.

I did FaceTime but was usually distracted. Sadly, one of my kids would call me out and say “Dad, you’re not paying attention.” Pathetic. I have just a few minutes to really connect with my family and I’m on email?

After a “come to Jesus” moment with my wife on how disconnected I was at home while on the road, I started looking for ways to leverage the road and what it can do for me instead of making excuses of the limits of the road and what I can’t do.

Remember, if you want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.

When I first started out I took pictures of the locations in my trip thinking my kids would want to see where Dad literally was in the world or my awesome meal or upgraded rental car.

At best I would get a COOL or LUCKY YOU response.

Often it was silence. Painful non-response.

Deserved.

I had that coming.

It came across in two ways:

  1. Dad’s bragging
  2. We’re not with him

But that wasn’t my motive and definitely not my heart.

I had an industry connection I had interviewed on another podcast called “The Energy Edge” Podcast, and listening to David Vasquez, had this little character called Peg Daddy that he traveled with and it hit me.

I revisited this concept with David Vasquez on episode 046 of the Elite Road Warrior.

But after that initial interview and the Flat Stanley story, I thought, what if I created Flat Stanley of my age-appropriate kids that traveled with me on the road?

For those of you who’ve not heard of the Flat Stanley story or concept, let me give you the 411:

Back Story – Stanley gets squashed flat by a falling bulletin board. Stanley’s parents rolled him up, put him in an envelope, and mailed him to his friend in California. We did the Flat Stanley project for my cousin’s kids from SoCal having Flat Stanley visit Chicago. Our kids loved it.

I had to figure this thing out.

Now, I had my WHY of wanting to connect and not just check in with my kids and I had this idea of doing something with Flat Stanley. Now what?

How I Use the Flat Kiddos Concept

I needed to begin to look through the eyes of my kids and what would be relatable to them in my road world.

I have five kids but not all are age-appropriate for Flat Kiddos.

For example, my high school sons prefer postcards from every location and it allows me to speak an encouraging word that I know they’ll read in this form.

Currently, I have two elementary-age kids and one four-year-old.

My 3rd and 5th graders are perfect for this age and my little guy is now ready for his Flat Kiddo too.

How Do You Make Your Flat Kiddos?

I’m often asked, how did you actually make the Flat Kiddos?

My two were basically an art project:

  • I went online and printed out a boy and girl Flat Stanley character
  • I cut out the characters
  • My wife glued them to strong poster-board
  • I had my kids color their own Flat Kiddos

It was simple but took some time and energy.

The favorite part was having my kids color their own Flat Kiddo and therein was the Buy-In.

Now, there are many road warriors who either aren’t creative or resourceful or just simply don’t have the time or won’t do it. Just recently I had a business traveler tell me: “Love the idea but this will never happen if it relies on me but I would buy them immediately. I can definitely tell my kids to color these for me.” You can buy them here.

So, you make or purchase your flat kiddo, you have your kids color them. Now what?

Here are Six Ideas for my Flat Kiddos

Airport

  • At the Gate or in the Terminal (up on the window with the plane in sight / checking the departure board/massage chairs)
  • On the Plane (in the seat / looking out the window)
  • With the Pilot or Flight Attendant

Hotel

  • Working at the desk
  • Watching TV
  • In the bathtub
  • On the toilet
  • On the bed
  • In the kitchen (since I stay at a lot of hotels with kitchens so I can prepare as many meals as possible)
  • Fitness Center – working out with the dumbbells/on the treadmill/bike
  • Pool catching some sun

Rental Car or RideShare

I’m in a rental car often because I fly into one city (for example, SD then drive to OC then to LA and fly out there or Tampa to Orlando to Fort Lauderdale) – I get some great upgrades and my kids love to see their Flat Kiddos in the driver seat

  • The driver seat of a cool rental car
  • Back seat watching an iPad
  • In the trunk!
  • Sitting next to me in an Uber or Lyft

Restaurant

I have my Flat Kiddos in my work bag so it’s easy to pull them out in a restaurant setting

  • Ordering food
  • A plate in front of them

Sight Seeing

  • The Alamo
  • Space Needle
  • Sunsets on the coast
  • In the mountains

The possibilities are endless – the key is just leveraging the city you’re in AND taking a few minutes for downtime – remember the definition? Time to Be, NOT to Be On and this is a great cause to take a little downtime.

People You Meet

People are often more than willing to join in a picture for such a cause – you just have to be willing and courageous to simply ask.

  • I mentioned Pilots earlier
  • Hotel front desk
  • Co-workers
  • When I speak, sometimes I’ll ask some people in the group to take a picture with my Flat Kiddos. I did that a few weeks ago speaking to 16 CEOs and these guys loved it!
  • One of my mentors from afar who I met, Michael

Get creative and ask for your kids

This is Possible Road Warriors…

Let me tell you about a quick story.

I met Barry in an airport before a flight when I was taking pictures of my Flat Kiddos in a couple of places near the gate. He asked what I was going but in a curious tone. So, I let him know WHY I do this and my desire to be a Connect-In Guy, not a Check-in Guy anymore on the road.

Barry paused then said, “If I were honest, I’m a Check-in Guy and this is a great idea that I can do to become a Connect-In Guy. Thanks for being an example and for giving me this inspiration.”

The key to being an elite road warrior is leveraging the road and what it CAN give to you if you let it.

I wouldn’t do Flat Kiddos at home obviously because I’m with my kids. But I can take a few minutes here and there to have them enter my Road Life through their Flat Kiddos.

You Got This!

084 – Networking on the Road with Jake Kelfer

Podcast Player

Transcription

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:01
Episode 84 of the Elite Road Warrior podcast. Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast where we believe you can leverage the road to transform your work, health, and home life while on business travel to ultimately master the business travel life. If you’re a road warrior, and a great chance you’re on the road right now then this podcast is for you.

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:31
Welcome to the Elite Road Warrior podcast. I’m your host Bryan Paul Buckley, fellow Road Warrior husband of one father of five, and love me some podcast interviews. But as always committed each and every business trip to becoming and remaining an elite road warrior and as always, I’d love nothing more than for you to join my master evil plan on this road trip.

Bryan Paul Buckley 0:54
Well, you’re gonna enjoy today’s conversation, because this guy was someone rare who reached out to me and in a way that caught my attention immediately, and ultimately led to this podcast interview. So let’s meet Jake Kelfer. Jake is a lifestyle entrepreneur, life elevator, and coach to ambitious entrepreneurs and freedom seekers helping people create incredibly impactful and profitable businesses. He’s the best selling author of two books elevate beyond and elevate your network. And that second book we’re gonna unpack a lot today, but he’s also a high energy motivational speaker and the founder of the professional basketball combine, which helps NBA Draft prospects turn their dreams of playing pro basketball into their reality. He and his work had been featured on Forbes, Sports Illustrated, ESPN, and many other major media outlets.

Bryan Paul Buckley 1:46
But in a moment, I’ll be asking Jake the following questions. Why is connecting with people on the road so vitally important? What are some key principles of connecting with people on the road that we should apply immediately? How do you elevate your elevator pitch? How do you get drinks the right way? How do we make networking part of our routine without feeling overwhelmed or wasting time? And so much more.

Bryan Paul Buckley 2:28
I am live right now with Jake Kelfer, where are you and how are you, my man?

Jake Kelfer 2:33
Bryan, what’s going on man, calling in doing this podcast from Santa Monica, California and I am I pumped. Let me tell you it to be chatting with you today.

Bryan Paul Buckley 2:42
Man, right there. I don’t know how you top that. So the only other question I’ve got to ask on that. Lakers or Clippers?

Jake Kelfer 2:49
Lakers 100%

Bryan Paul Buckley 2:51
All right. All right. See and I’m struggling Bulls fan on there. And I mean obviously brought that up because you have this professional basketball combine background so before we jump in and let’s do a little opening banter here. Tell us more about that. What is that? What’s that look like? You know and unpack that a little bit?

Jake Kelfer 3:08
Yes. So before I dive into like the professional basketball combine and I know the listeners can’t see but I got my shirt on today I’m representing, but us Lakers clippers like I grew up a diehard Lakers fan basketball is one of my biggest passions and loves of my life. And my first job when I graduated college, was working for the Lakers during Kobe Bryant’s final NBA season, I had experience with Jerry West that changed the way I viewed life like wow, these things led to this point of trying to get basketball back into my life. And once I had left the Lakers, I had written my first book, started speaking, but I wanted to be back in sports. And so I came up with this idea to create a secondary NBA Draft combine, which we call the professional basketball combine.

Jake Kelfer 3:51
And basically what we did was we put together a secondary event that would allow prospects who weren’t invited by the NBA, The top 60 to 70 prospects, we actually got to invite those players to our event, put them through three on three scrimmages got to put them through workout drills, all the testing that all the other players did so we can compare them. And we got to put on this incredible event with the hope of bringing 24 players to one location bring teams out. And it has been an incredible blessing that’s putting out 70 guys on rosters in 31 countries across the globe.

Bryan Paul Buckley 4:24
That’s amazing. Man, what a cool legacy on that, and that loves the entrepreneurial side. love doing one of your passion things so thanks for unpacking that just for a minute. And you’ve got two books that are out right now. Elevate beyond and elevate networking Can you just give us as a listen and we’re gonna dive into elevate networking a lot more. Just kind of a little bit perspective on those two books.

Jake Kelfer 4:44
So elevate beyond was the first book I ever wrote. Now I had a dream that one day after I had a successful career, then I would write my books and speak and travel the world. But what I found was that I had the idea of success backward and it was about enjoying it making a difference, and then doing all the work stuff, right? And creating, creating all that or why couldn’t the fun stuff be the work stuff as well. And so when I was working for the Lakers, I would drive and get there every morning, about two hours before I get into the office. And I’d write my first book, which became elevate beyond, which is all about how to stand out in the job market, discover your passion. And basically what it really is, is it’s my experiences of going through college and getting a job going to networking events, going to resume workshops, interview, mock interviews, and all that stuff. And then combining it with incredible people who have tons of work experience so that as a 23-year-old, it added to my credibility. And when you combine those two, it became this incredible guide that helped people land their dream job. So that was the first book.

Jake Kelfer 5:46
And then my second book, which we’re going to talk a lot about today is called elevate your network. And that book, The premise of why I wrote that book was because I believe that we’re all in the business of people. There is nothing that happens if we don’t have customers in business. There’s nothing that happens in our growth, if we don’t have mentors, nothing we can do in our life that’s going to bring us the success and the fulfillment we’re looking for will happen without other human beings, you can look in every aspect of your life, and people are the driving force behind our success. And so I wrote down, I took the best keys at that, and I call them kelf keys based on my last night and have a little bit of fun. And I kind of put the best 25 that I had that had gotten me to where I was in my career at that point, and put them in a book form and was able to share that which became my second best-selling book that has been read all over the world.

Bryan Paul Buckley 6:35
That’s awesome, man. I love it. In fact, you referenced you know, a mock interview. I thought that meant making fun of it initially, but I learned that’s not the case in your book. So thank you for clearing that up. Just kidding on that. So when we talked Originally, we clicked big time on that one specific topic or value of connecting with people. And I love that and that’s your passion. And that’s why I couldn’t wait to have you on this on this podcast. So first question out of the gate here and I don’t mean airplane gate. Why is connecting with people on the road specifically, so vitally important, Jake?

Jake Kelfer 7:06
Well, there’s I mean, there’s so much to unpack here, right? But I think, you know, look, when you’re on the road, we oftentimes change our routines, from when we’re doing our normal thing that we get on the road, all of the routines, all the things that we practice our habits, they change, because our schedules change, and we have to adjust. So one of the biggest reasons that I personally love connecting on the road outside of doing business deals outside of, you know, executing on high level projects. One of the reasons I love connecting with people is because it’s an opportunity to catch up with old friends, it’s an opportunity to meet new people. And it’s also an opportunity to feel connected, when traveling can become so isolated. And I think that that’s something that’s really

Bryan Paul Buckley 7:44
let’s hit on that. I’ll say that once. One more time. That’s really good.

Jake Kelfer 7:47
So I think it’s really powerful because traveling can be isolating. Exactly and connecting with people will bring you together and fill the gaps in some of that travel. Now, I think it’s also really important because one thing that I talked about a lot is is about the most important relationship is the one with ourselves. And I think that that relationship is also something that we can nurture and connect with on the road. Because we have time where our phones are on Do Not Disturb. We’re on airplane mode, we’re in the gate with nobody, sometimes nobody to talk to because there’s no one there. And other times it’s packed. And so it’s been a really great like when you travel on the road, it’s such a great way to practice new connecting techniques to reflect on your own thoughts, as well as to build new and incredible relationships. And it also makes traveling more fun when you’re really connecting. And I go through life trying to have a good time. I want to look back on all my days when it’s all said and done and say I made the most of this life. I won the game and traveling on the road and connecting on the road. It’s just part of the game. So I play to win. And that comes with connecting.

Bryan Paul Buckley 8:45
Great response. So what are some key principles then Jake of connecting with people on the road that whether they may be something we already know, we just need to be reminded of or maybe give us an aha moments? What are a few that you would recommend?

Jake Kelfer 8:58
Yeah, I mean, I think on the road you know, you always got to have that feeler out first, right? Because you have people on the road especially new people that you don’t know that are like, do I really want to talk to this person? Do they really want to talk to me and you got that awkward kind of feeling which normally stops people, it stops people enough to where they never make that first introduction.

Bryan Paul Buckley 9:17
Well, you know, Jake is the universal sign on a plane is the headphones, you know, you put the pitcher universal Do Not Disturb on and you’re right, there’s a level of awkwardness that’s there or whatever. So how do you handle that? What do you how do you overcome those things?

Jake Kelfer 9:32
We got to respect the headphones, right? You don’t want to be that guy, right? You don’t want to be that person that just they just ruin somebody’s day because then nobody’s getting the W. But what you got to do is you got to make that first interaction. Let’s talk about a plane right? When someone comes in and I call it the hustle and bustle, right? Because you’re in a plane you’re hustling and bustling. And what it is, is just that first time you sit down, right that first time you sit down, make that quick introduction. Make that quick introduction. here’s the key that differentiates people from Like a super quick combo to know Convo, and that’s asking the right question. It’s asking the right question and getting that conversation started immediately. Because you don’t have time, especially on a plane when you’re traveling to try to build up into the conversation.

Bryan Paul Buckley 10:14
So then give me a couple examples of what the right question would be.

Jake Kelfer 10:18
So the right question, right, the right question relates to something that you can put the dots together right away. So when I see somebody coming in, if they have a book that they’re pulling out of their backpack, I inquire about their book, people always want to talk about that, right? If they’re wearing any type of sporting outfit, I’m talking about that their team, you’re dressed up in a certain way I’m inquiring about that. You want to ask about something that you probably can assume they’re excited about passionate about, or it’s an expression of who they are as a person. You can even go to the most generic thing, right? And if they have a cool backpack, or go suitcase, hey, that’s a really cool carry on what kind is it? Everybody loves to be complimented. And when you frame a compliment in the form of a question, it’ll immediately make that person feel more comfortable.

Bryan Paul Buckley 10:59
That’s really good. framing the compliment in a form of a question. Now that’s money right there that that’s a counteroffer right there, we need to make sure we catch on that. So that’s perfect on that. the right questions. Um, give me another one or two.

Jake Kelfer 11:12
Another one is when you ask these questions, you got to make sure you’re listening.

Bryan Paul Buckley 11:15
I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Would you say again?

Jake Kelfer 11:18
I love that.

Bryan Paul Buckley 11:18
I do not do that. Dude, I do that. No, you’re exactly right. Sometimes we ask the question, and then we act like we’re in it, we could care less so right?

Jake Kelfer 11:26
We asked the question, and then we’re already getting back into our seat and putting our headphones on, or getting on a phone looking at a text, right? We’re trying to build connection. So in order to build that connection, once you ask the question, listen to the response, because you never know who you’re talking to until you know who you’re talking to

Bryan Paul Buckley 11:42
Say that again.

Jake Kelfer 11:43
You don’t know who you’re talking to until you know who you’re talking to. Right. And you only will find out that information by listening to their responses and then diving deeper into that otherwise the conversation will end and it’s okay, sometimes this will happen sometimes there won’t be synergy there and that’s okay. But never missed out on an opportunity just because you weren’t paying attention or weren’t listening with the prospect with the intention to understand

Bryan Paul Buckley 12:08
or you stopped asking good questions, right questions, and then the conversation just does a painful death. So let’s, we referenced earlier this book, your book, The elevate your network, which I consumed, it was a great read a quick read a lot of practicalness out of there. And again, you reference the 25 keys. Love that great idea on that, you know, to build a stronger relationships in life and in business. So I’d like to hit on a few of these, and these are ones that stood out to me, especially with being a road warrior. Unpack for us what it means to elevate your elevator pitch.

Jake Kelfer 12:43
Yeah, of course. So I mean, the elevator pitch is a term that people use all the time, right. And I used it because it was elevate your elevator pitch kind of had that play on right there. But we’re looking at the end of the day, and this has evolved even since the book but at the end of the day, when somebody asks you what you do, or asks you who you are You have to have a good answer. The most successful businesses in today’s world and people that run businesses, especially people that are on the road, are able to get that answer out in one to two sentences. Being very, very clear on exactly who you are, what you’re done, what result you provide. And when you can really focus on that, it one, eliminates you having to try to explain everything else that you do. But it also allows that person to be very clear on what you do and connect dots quicker. So the clearer you are on what you say you do and your elevator pitch, the easier it is for someone to actually help you or to refer you or to dive deeper, developing that one on one relationship. Okay, so that’s good.

Bryan Paul Buckley 13:42
How does somebody do it? So they go, that’s a great idea. I need to be better at that. Or I could be better at that. How do you start to develop that?

Jake Kelfer 13:50
Why look as a guy who works in basketball, and there’s a guy who’s always about this belief that practice makes progress is this is a simple case of you just got to put in the work right. You got to evaluate “what exactly do you do?” And look, somebody might say, Well, I do a ton of things. I do a ton of things. Okay, pick one that you want to talk about right now. Right? Like if you’re involved in two different businesses, pick one business and roll with that. Now see what one people respond to better see what leads into it, play the room, look at your demographics of your audiences on social media, and then respond based off who the person is that you’re talking to. Right? You can be very methodical about your approach to a very simple question, right? And then the second thing that I would say is like, and I do this all the time, I’m like, Okay, what do I do? Who do I serve? What is the result I provide for people? Think about it, think about it, think about, and I kind of go over it, and I test it and I evaluate and I readjust. And I’m constantly doing this so that the more specific I get, it becomes automatic. And that’s what we’re trying to do is create an automatic response that is easy to understand.

Bryan Paul Buckley 14:54
That’s great. And oftentimes you can find if it’s not flying because there’s no follow up question. Or dude just goes back to his phone or fakes a hammy, you know, pulling a hammer or whatever. So you can you’re right about the feedback, you know, practice makes progress. love that quote, another one you’ve got, and I really liked this one was LinkedIn is the goat of business networking, unpack that one.

Jake Kelfer 15:18
So at the time of the book, LinkedIn, it still is, is one of the best platforms for you to be able to get your message out and be able to connect with people. It’s also the least invasive when it comes to traveling on the road and being in business. So LinkedIn is obviously we all know LinkedIn, right a professional networking platform, but when you’re talking about leveraging your experiences on the road to connect on LinkedIn follow up always reaffirms what it is that you just said in your elevator pitch, right? Because if you go on social media, and that person doesn’t use Instagram for business, which is likely going to be your second platform that you may check or Facebook, they’re likely not going to have their mission statement or what they do, but if you go on LinkedIn, it’s going to be easier to connect the dots again, because you’ll remember that person, you’ll see their location, you’ll see all of these things that remind you of who that person was. So in the scope of traveling LinkedIn is an incredibly powerful tool. But also, it’s what you call content deficient platform. There’s more people consuming content than there are people producing content. Therefore it’s a great platform for you to get more eyeballs, grow your followings quicker and ultimately create more leads for your business.

Bryan Paul Buckley 16:26
And for those of you that don’t know, goat is greatest of all time. And for those that don’t know, before we got on to this, we talked about the last dance, obviously being a Chicago Bulls fan and the greatest of all time and Michael Jordan on there. So really powerful. And I see your point, Jake, it does feed in I mean, you go for and that’s I methodically you know, from elevate your elevator pitch to moving into and taking that offline into well still online, but taking off the initial conversation moving into LinkedIn, and then also leveraging where it’s a lot of content is consumed that a lot of Put out there. So love it. That’s great. Now let’s have drinks because you brought up one that I loved and was very intriguing was to get drinks the right way, which is one of your health keys. So tell us about that.

Jake Kelfer 17:12
So I think there’s an art to getting drinks with colleagues and with coworkers or especially, you know, we’re just gonna play the theme on the road, right? That’s what this is all about. So we’re going to focus purely on that, like, I’m personally I’ve had, I’ve tried to have a lot of experience with this because I don’t like a lot of different drinks. And so one of the things that is super, super important when you’re getting drinks, the right way is to own your identity. Now, for a lot of people, some people when they get drinks, it leads four or five drinks, right? Well, if you know that that’s gonna happen. You got to understand what your tolerance is. You got to understand what does it take for you to get to a point where different words are to come out of your mouth, right? And depending on the industry, and depending on if you work for yourself or someone else, there’s a whole deeper process that we can dive into, of course, the most simply put is when you. You’re on the road, get the drink that’s going to make you feel the best in terms of bringing out the most confidence in yourself, the one that’s going to go down the easiest one that’s going to be easiest to communicate with. Right?

Jake Kelfer 18:11
So if you know you only have 30 minutes, it might be smart to grab one beer, right versus getting a drink that’s smaller like a cocktail that will be quicker to drink than maybe being that awkward like, do I get another one? Do I not, you don’t want to have the drink take you away from the meeting and the present moment. So I always like to I typically will get my favorite beer, which is Coors Light. I typically get a Coors Light when I’m ever having drinks because that’s me. It’s always a conversation starter. And it always is a simple way I know how that can last me anywhere from 15 minutes to 30 minutes if I need to and allows me to continue on. So when you’re getting drinks the right way. Don’t just do what the other person is doing. Don’t just like, be confident in your approach is essentially what the key method is of getting drinks the right way. And if you want to be adventurous Be it adventurous, but do it in a way where it’s still your choice, you’re not doing it because somebody else is expecting you to do it. Right. And that’s how you can really, really assert yourself from a drink standpoint.

Bryan Paul Buckley 19:11
And I love the psychology behind this Jake because oftentimes, it’s just what we do. We’re just we’re gonna get drinks with somebody or whatever, we don’t really think about the end result of that, and how much I have or what I have, will that take away or enhance the whole purpose of this conversation? Now, if it’s just coworkers, just chilling out, watching a ballgame or something like a different context, but most of the time, that’s not what we’re talking about here, right? We’re talking about a business transaction or a customer or whatever, that could lead to hopefully further business or furthering the relationship to your point in the network. I’ve got another one here. Well, do your research was another one of your kelf keys?

Jake Kelfer 19:51
Yeah, I love how we’re going through the Kelf keys. Now, this is great, because look, all these words designed to be practical to be put into use immediately and that’s what this podcast is going to give Everyone that’s listening. Like you can walk away here with a bunch of different things, but doing your research, okay? This, this is something that’s super, super important when it comes to networking. The easiest way to get in touch with somebody or to create empathy and compassion between a relationship is to establish a commonality. Okay. When I reached out to you for our first ever point of contact, what did I mention in that in that in that outreach, and I know you’re gonna remember this?

Bryan Paul Buckley 20:25
Yeah, the Energizer Bunny.

Jake Kelfer 20:27
The Energizer Bunny. And I also mentioned one other thing, which was that you traveled to every ballpark.

Bryan Paul Buckley 20:31
Oh, that’s right. That’s right. That was in the email the Energizer Bunny was in the subject.

Jake Kelfer 20:36
Yes. And so when you’re talking about doing your research, it’s about understanding who is the person that you are meeting, right. So let’s say you’re just meeting somebody for the first time trying to see if there’s potential for collaboration. Do your research, look, go to LinkedIn, that’s where you get your business research. Check out their Instagram profile, because Instagram is gonna allow you to get inside their personal life. So they’re not private, you can actually find something, then what you do and I call this the fun fact frenzy is you find 1-3 Fun Facts About that other person. And you bring those up early on in your initial outreach, or you bring it up when you’re actually talking to them because it forms that bond. Because people naturally gravitate to people that have something in common with them. Doing your research on the person is super important. If you’re trying to close a deal or close a sale, doing your research on that company is super important, right? Understanding previous transactions, understanding some of the previous buyer’s understanding, who are some of the other vendors that they’ve used if you’re trying to get a deal on a contract out of it, right? And being able to really understand the key talking points. Now, if you want to take it even one step further. Right. And let’s say you’re trying to get a deal. You’re a consultant, you’re a coach, you’re trying to get a deal with a company, you’re trying to get a contract. And you know, some of the other people that they’ve done, well, sometimes taking it to the next level as you call the other company. And you act as if you’re somebody you know, you pick up the phone, you’re like, Hey, I’m calling. I know you work with them, how was your experience with them? Right, and you try to get in and try to get the secret sauce. The further you go down the research rabbit hole, the easier it’s going to be to know what to say and how to say. So I love doing my research because I’m a big preparer big planner, big understanding that I’d rather save the time and invest the time now I can have more success on the back end.

Bryan Paul Buckley 22:13
And it allows you to go deep so quick. Yeah, it’s amazing when you notice somebody is a Michigan fan. And then I’ll bring up you know, the Buckeyes meaning Ohio State, I don’t have a dog in the race man, I’m from Chicago sound like I got a college sport, I can really really push you know, I’m saying you bring up little things like that. And you get somebody revved up pretty quick, or in a good way, you know, make a comment with their you know, about somebody from Cleveland. I’m like, Yes. You know, being from Chicago, you know, sorry about that, you know, and they’ll come on now, is there some level of that personal side, and it truly does change the chemistry of the conversation or even the business meeting, but you get your you talked about asking the right questions. Obviously, that’s when you don’t you’ve met somebody for the very first time you’ve not been able to do the research. But if I do know that I’m going to meet Jeff Johnson, and I do know from his LinkedIn profile, you know, he went to this school was a rival School of mine, or he was in sports or whatever to your points or the family from Instagram. It’s amazing, the brownie points that somebody, you know, notices that I do that you did that most people don’t. I noticed that you did that right away. And you got a really quick response from me. We just, I mean, sometimes it happens. I mean, I always respond, but I wanted to respond. Because I’m like, wow, this guy. This guy’s got some skills.

Jake Kelfer 23:31
Yeah. And here’s the crazy thing about this, right? One of the biggest reasons why people don’t do this don’t do their research or don’t go out of their way is because they think it takes a lot of time. People think sometimes that networking, it takes too much time and so much energy will look, the best networkers are the ones that have the best businesses, right? You look at some of the most successful in the world, they’re the most connected people in the world, and they’ve been able to bring the right people together, right? That’s huge. But look at this. Whenever you’re reaching out to someone if you’re trying to get a new client, let’s just focus on that for this process. perspective, you’re on the road, right? And you have five minutes before your next meeting, and you want to try to get something out for somebody new or a follow up. Literally, this will take you this process three to five minutes at most per outreach. And the more you do it, the quicker you get. So I can bust out 10 different pitches in 10 different pitches in an email. And I can do that in 25 minutes. And that’s 10 new contacts I’m probably gonna make and my response rates go through the roof, whether it’s on Instagram or email, and that just starts the downward spiral because then once you meet them, and you do a good job there, they’re gonna want to introduce you to somebody else. And then it starts spiraling all in a positive direction for you as the initial outreach because you took three minutes to invest.

Bryan Paul Buckley 24:41
And we have three minutes. Yeah, because I’m sitting next to the guy who doesn’t have three minutes who is on Instagram, Twitter, scrolling, so I know he’s got that it’s we’re really kind of when we get to come on, man. I mean, really, it’s a matter is it a priority, because you can’t give him give me an excuse. You don’t have the time. We’ll be back for the remainder of this interview after this short break?

Buckley Kiddos 25:09
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Break Promo 26:12
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Bryan Paul Buckley 27:24
So speaking of that, let’s kind of go in a different direction. How do we make connecting and networking part of our routine that’s your point where it doesn’t feel like it’s a lot of time, doesn’t feel maybe overwhelming or possibly even a waste of time? How do we put that into our bones, the context of the road? How do we get that into our road routine, Jake?

Jake Kelfer 27:47
So you know, I was thinking about this before we jumped on here because this is something that that I’ve tried to practice and implement because I’m guilty as anybody of like, I am my routine I get, I get ready to go on the plane and that routine, just disappears, right? Netflix time increases, the music, the iTunes, the podcast, everything just increases. And then I skip out on some of the things that I consistently do on a regular basis. So one of the things that I’ve really focused on and I’ve read a bunch of books on the habits and really studied how can I put this psychology together. And one of the big things that we have to think about when we understand how habits are built in the first place, is we have to understand that some of them stemmed from our motivation, the more motivated we are, the more likely we are to do it for a single duration. Second thing is, is our ability. The best habits are the ones that are the easiest to do, right. If you put your clothes out in the morning, you’re more likely to put those clothes on and run. Right. So when you’re on the road and you’re getting ready to travel, there are certain things that I like to do called habit stacking, where I stack on the actions I want to take with things I’m already going to be doing. But that makes it easy while I’m getting on the road.

Jake Kelfer 28:49
So for example here, for example, let’s say you go you know, you’re going to go through security and you’re going to check in, okay, typically, what’s the first thing that you do after security is you go get a seat You sit down and wait till you’re bored. As soon as your computer opens up, use that as the trigger to send one outreach use that as a trigger to send one piece of networking communication, or one follows up or whatever it is, right, that’s gonna get you in the habit. Then when you’re doing it, you may already keep rolling, right? Here’s another thing. Let’s say you don’t want to do that. But let’s say you’re gonna check your email. As soon as you check your email, I call it the Gmail redirect. Okay? The Gmail redirect says that as soon as you pull out your email before you shut down your email, you send something out. What we’re doing when we’re on the road is just adding it to what we’re already doing. So that it’s easy for us to execute. Let’s say you want to meet somebody new? Well, the best way to meet somebody new is go sit closer to somebody, right? The best thing to do is that when you’re going to check in, focus on asking the right question, look for somebody that has something that you want to talk about, and go sit near them and ask them those questions right. Now. Again, don’t overdo it, and don’t be that annoying person in the airport. But very commonly, people, it’s proven that people actually become happier when other people initiate the convo. Even if both people don’t think initially they want to talk to each other. You can look at the study, but it was done on a train where people were talking to random strangers. And at the end of them, they both reported elevated happiness and fulfillment, even though initially, neither one of them would have ever said they weren’t talked to that other person. So that’s what it really is all about is like finding things you’re already doing. Figure out what you really want to do, that you’re not doing. Add that to what you’re already doing, and make it as easy as possible. And if you can do that, you’ll be able to execute big habits and networking along the road.

Bryan Paul Buckley 30:38
And those are great examples. I mean, you think about you know, it’s being strategic, you know, you’re walking into a room like a network, who do I want to connect with the same thing when you get to a gate or you walk into a bar at the airport, for example, or, you know, if I’m at an Embassy Suites, you know, and there’s a large area right there, that common area right in there, you’re looking around and seeing Who’s that person you can connect with you feel like there may be some synergy Is there. So those are great, great examples of that. So let’s talk a little bit more about you in these next couple of questions. Jake. You’re going moving into kind of this group coaching program. So why was it started? And can you tell us a little bit about that?

Jake Kelfer 31:15
Yeah. So, we’ve been developing and we have a bunch of people going through the program right now. It’s called elite elevation. And basically, what we what we’ve done and the reason why we did is because when I started the speaking business and the book writing business that kind of took off, we figured out how to do it, I figured out that system and it was all come back to relationships, right? When I started the combine, the only reason we had success was because of the relationship that we built. Now, here’s the thing people like, well, you probably had all the relationships, no, no, everything started from scratch, everything built. And I established and grew these networks in multiple different industries. And it led to very successful businesses. Also, it allowed me to travel and have freedom and enjoy the journey in the pursuit of greatness and it’s been able to catapult the success, right? So what we did was we boiled it all down. We’re like, what are the key things that are really bringing people to the top in their line of work, and how do we help people really start and grow their businesses. And that’s what elite elevation is. So elite elevation is our group coaching program that basically puts our core framework into video modules with handouts, activities, exercises, you get access to all of our templates and scripts and all these incredible things that like, let you see what are the pitches that I’m sending out that are getting 70 plus percent open rates and huge response rates, the same script I’m using to book 50 podcasts in a month, or whatever it is, right? We do Q and A’s weekly training sessions, mentor sessions, and it’s all part of this program. Um, and so we’re just I’m just super excited about it. And it’s been a joy because now we get to answer everyone’s questions of how did you do this? This is how we do it. And this is how you can do it and do it quickly.

Bryan Paul Buckley 32:44
Love it, man. And I’ll make sure that we’ve got a link in the show notes if anybody wants more information on that. So before I asked you how we find out more about you, any closing thoughts you want to leave with us today?

Jake Kelfer 32:55
I think no matter what it is that you’re doing, whether it’s on the road, whether it’s in person, whether you’re struggling to do something, whether you want to do more of something, right, because you’re on the road, you’re probably performing, right, you’re on the road you’re performing. And there are going to be times where we hesitate to start. And I’ll just leave you with this, it’s a quote from my dad. And I’ll give you a quote from my mom because I love them both very much. My dad will always say that we’re always looking for shortcuts. The only real shortcut is to start now. And so all you got to do is no matter where we’re going through and matter what you’re doing when you’re on the road is just start. It might not be easy to connect with someone on the airport that first time. Start. It might not be the best Instagram story of you filming yourself while you’re in the airport. Start. Okay. And then my other piece that I love to share with people because this piece of advice has helped me like stay calm, even when I’m on the road, is to always remember this comes from my mom to live in the moment and enjoy the journey. Think about how blessed we are to get on an airplane and travel. Think about how amazing is that we have a job that we get to go pursue our dreams right? Think about how incredible it is that you may be getting off airplane, you may find the love of your life, right? Think about how incredible that is, or who you might meet on a plane. I have a friend he met John Legend on a plane, I have another friend who met his favorite musician, I have another friend. I mean, the stories go on and on and on, right? And really what it comes down to is, are you doing what you love? Are you making an impact, and I’ve been able to be profitable off of that, that thing. And if you can do that, you’re gonna be crushing it as an elite Road Warrior.

Bryan Paul Buckley 34:28
Well, I really appreciate the quotes from your parents. That’s awesome. My dad’s quote was “just because I feed you, doesn’t mean I like you.” So maybe I need to get a little bit higher quotes for my dad. I’m kidding. He’s a quote machine as well. So I really do appreciate that great way to sum everything up. How do we find out more about you? Obviously, we’ll put links in the show notes but just in general, to follow you learn more from you.

Jake Kelfer 34:54
I’m on all social media, LinkedIn, obviously, I’m on LinkedIn. You guys connect to me. They’re just my name. I’m on Instagram @JakeKelfer, that’s probably the platform that I’m on most related to social websites. JakeKelfer.com. And for all your listeners if you guys enjoyed hearing me talk a little bit about elevate your network, we’ll hook you up with the free copy. All you got to do is just pay a small shipping fee, but we’ll take care of all you guys. We’ll get you guys free copies and that link is in my Instagram bio or on my website,

Bryan Paul Buckley 35:22
perfect. We’ll link you up and I don’t mean well LinkedIn you up but also link as well. Well, Jake, man, I love this conversation. These are one of the rare ones where you just keep going and going and going. I highly, highly recommend the book, elevate your network, personal read on my own. So obviously I want to make sure that I’m recommending things that are of value. And obviously man, there are just a number of good ones. And we only hit on 4 of the 25 there as far as specifics. So there’s a lot of practicality to this there. So Jake, thanks for spending time with us for blessing us with a number of really really good tips and making this better to become and remain an elite road warrior.

Jake Kelfer 35:57
Yeah, thank you for having me.

Bryan Paul Buckley 36:13
I’d like to thank Jake Kelfer man, for his energy for his ideas, his challenges, and his insights to help us become and remain elite road warriors. You can find the transcript and everything referenced in this interview in the show notes at eliteroadwarrior.com/084 along with a free resource 10 business travel hacks guide in the show notes. Learn the years and years of hacks that I’ve learned that you can learn in mere moments. And guess what? It’s absolutely free. As always, wherever you are, do something, anything, just not nothing to master the business travel life. leverage what you learn today from Jake Kelfer to become an elite Road Warrior. You got this!

Bryan Paul Buckley 37:07
Love that guy’s energy!